Luckily for the bereft
grieving through darkness alone,
dawn is abundantly deft
at its medicinal tone.
When a new morning appears,
duty abruptly commands
focusing thoughts on careers
and some routinized demands.
During distressing ordeals,
structural chores are, of course
spokes on restorative wheels,
turning with rhythmical force . . .
Familiar labors assigned
(whether unique or mundane)
comfort the crestfallen mind
like an elixir for pain.
Physical efforts promote
pleasing endorphins to rise.
Mental endeavors demote
misery’s spirit and size.
Affable people abound,
sharing benevolent goals.
Meaningful purpose is found,
forged in incredible roles.
Muscular hearts can attest
circular time is renowned
for its centrifugal zest,
helping the lovelorn rebound!
E. V. “Beth” Wyler is a poet and writer whose poetry has appeared in The Eclectic Muse: A Poetry Journal, Feelings of the Heart, Nuthouse Magazine, The Pink Chameleon, The Poet’s Haven, The Rotary Dial, The Society of Classical Poets Journal, The Storyteller, Vox Poetica, WestWard Quarterly, and on the website of USA Patriotism! Accepted poems have publications pending in The Lyric and The Stray Branch.
Having just read Ron Hodges’ poem on Euthanasia, I found “Luckily for the Lovelorn” to be a restorative balm, E.V. Thank you.
I really enjoyed this stanza:
“During distressing ordeals,
structural chores are, of course
spokes on restorative wheels,
turning with rhythmical force . . .”
. . . and it makes me wonder if young Aurelia (of the Hodges poem) had any structural chores of her own: did she feel that she was needed, or that her contribution to each day was vital to keeping things running smoothly? And if not, how very, very sad.
Thank you, Amy. Not only are our daily chores important to others, but they are also helpful to ourselves because they redirect our attention away from our own internal pain. The inspiration for this poem came from watching several 20-somethings handle breakups.
E.V. I have found that one of the most difficult challenges in creative writing is composing proverbs, adages, aphorisms, epigrams, or the sort of pithy sayings associated with Solomon, Jesus, and Ben Franklin’s Poor Richard’s Almanack. Yet you have somehow managed to string at least eleven of them in a cohesive, coherent, rhythmic, rhyming and tightly structured poem. To say the least, I’m impressed! Like Amy, my day has been brightened by the upbeat sentiment.
Thank you. Your comment brightened my day, too!
This poem is deep and at the same time easy and enjoyable to read. Well done!
Thank you. I worked hard to make it read easily. Thank you for picking that up.
It’s wonderful to read a set of nice dactyls! They’re not that easy to compose, but they have a delightful jogging rhythm.
My only objection is to the word “Familiar” at the start if the fourth quatrain. Since it is normally pronounced “fa-MILL-yer”, it doesn’t fit the meter easily, and is a stumbling block. Might I suggest the following substitution?
Various labors assigned
Prof. Salemi, thank you for commenting on my poem. This was the 1st poem I’ve written in which I’ve paid close attention to meter. It was challenging and a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. As you can see, I’m still learning, and the “familiar” (fa-MILL-yer) escaped me. How about:
Multiple labors assigned
E. V., I don’t know whether or not this was your overarching plan for the meter of the poem or it just came to you that way , but the consistency of the rhythm (with the exception of “Familiar,” as Dr. Salemi noted above) was exemplary. If no one objects, I shall call it catalectic dactylic trimeter. Any who object better have good reasons, or else they should just stuff it.
Thank you. Your compliment means a lot to me.
E.V.
Here are several quick comments. My favorite lines are #16 & #20, and my favorite stanza is #3. I like that not every line begins with a capital letter. I agree that “Familiar” should be replaced with a dactyl. Another option is: “Suitable labors assigned”. I don’t understand what “circular time” means. Should there be a comma after “bereft” and after “of course”? In short, a great poem.
Mark, perhaps it’s because I never formally studied poetry (in school) that I prefer not to start each line with a capital letter. A clock’s hands illustrate the circularity of time repetitively unfolding; i.e., this time next week will be Thursday again … and (a week later) again … and again. Although I can see why someone might place a comma after bereft, I chose not to do it. There should be a comma after “of course”. Thank you for your thought-provoking comments.
Firstly, I like the fact that you have explored the human aspects of mood restoration, without straying from the theme. Secondly, the work you put into the meter has resulted in creating a smooth, and enjoyable piece.
Thank you; both were my intentions. I wanted to begin the poem in a dark place and then immediately head towards the light without looking back into the darkness. Also, I’ve learned to appreciate the amount of time and effort required to make the words flow smoothly. Thank you for noticing.
Great rythm in this poem, its reads at a trotting pace. Good message, too: when pain comes, don’t stop living.
Thank you. That’s exactly what I was attempting to communicate.
What a thoughtful, upbeat topic this is for a poem, EV. Very positive, and also very clearly written within a disciplined structure.
I especially like the line (and its sentiment): “Dawn is.. deft at its medicinal tone” . . and, as another commented above, the 3rd stanza is high-class, with a quality use of metaphor.
But above all else, the message that the poem conveys is so simply . . true!
Thank you, Monty!