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Choices
Some lovers only give the rose,
__Some only choose to take,
Although the florist keeps a bunch
__For every partner’s sake.
The sun has risen for our town
__And also for your city.
While you say it’s a scalding morn,
__We say it’s warm and pretty.
The Lord is there for everyone.
__He’s as much mine as yours.
Yet, some receive Him when He knocks;
__Some drive Him from their doors.
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Shamik Banerjee resides in Assam, India with his parents and works for a local firm. His poems have appeared in Fevers of the Mind, Lothlorien Poetry Journal, and Westward Quarterly, among others, and some of his poems are forthcoming in Dreich and The Ekstasis Review, to name a few.
Shamik, such precious thoughts in a compact form. Beautifully done.
I am glad you felt so, Mr. Peterson. Thank you so much for reading and commenting.
A choice for everyone to make a life goes by quickly. Thank you, Shamik.
Indeed, Phil. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment.
This is a beautiful little vignette of description combined with pious thought.
I would suggest one small change. In the first quatrain, it is awkward to enjamb over to a single small monosyllable “It.” The problem could be resolved in this manner:
Some only choose to take, [just add a comma at the end]
Although the florist keeps a bunch [use “Although” instead of “Though”]
There’s no need to use the word “It” at all, since the parallelism of “give” and
“choose” in the first two lines makes it very clear that the object of the infinitive “to take” is the rose.
Mr. Salemi, thank you so much for your appreciation of my poem.
I fully agree with your suggestion. Omitting the “it” is removing the awkwardness while keeping the meaning intact. Thank you so much for this valuable guidance.
I also wondered, Shamik, whether the very last line should not have been:
“Some drive Him from their doors.”
These are three profound reflections about kinds of choices that indicate attitudes toward life. Starting with the rose is a good beginning with a picture, and including the florist’s shop brings up a consideration I never thought of. My husband might like some daffodils, and they’ll be for sale soon.
Dear Margaret, thank you so much for your thoughts on my poem, and I am so happy to know that it reminded you about the sale.
Mr. Anderson, thank you so much reading and commenting. I agree with your point. Mike Bryant will make the change. Thank you again.
Shamik, this lovely poem has touched my heart with its message. It’s melodic flow and clarity result in a work of beauty. We might all do well to think very carefully before we choose… the outcome could change the world as we know it. Shamik, thank you!
This is a very neatly written poem, which expresses something very important. Thank you very much for writing this for us, Shamik.