So delicate at first, the music swells
And fills with brilliance of a dawning sun
Each listener and cracks the callused shells
The world has formed around our heart. And none
Remain unmoved as the orchestra weaves its spells
Of purest harmony, for everyone
Transcends into the realm where beauty dwells
In ecstasy of sweet oblivion.
The music thrusts us to celestial heights
Where spirits alone can live, at one with God;
No selfish clamor can disturb the rites
Of passage of our souls set free, abroad
In this eternity of blessed delights.
Much purer now, we gratefully applaud.
Dr. Emory D. Jones is a retired English teacher. He joined the Mississippi Poetry Society, Inc. in 1981 and has served as President of this society. He has over two hundred and thirty-five publishing credits including publication in such journals as Voices International, The White Rock Review, Free Xpressions Magazine, The Storyteller, Modern Poetry Quarterly Review, Gravel, Pasques Petals, The Pink Chameleon, and Encore: Journal of the NFSPS. He is retired and lives in Iuka, Mississippi, with his wife, Glenda.
This is a great poem! You’re very talented, and I enjoyed reading “The Concert”. If this is inappropriate, please excuse my suggestion: On the 2nd stanza, 2nd line, I’ve a desire to swap “can live” with “survive”. Maybe I’m wrong; what are your thoughts?
P.S.: I wouldn’t mind hearing why I’m wrong because it would be a learning opportunity.
Personally, I would write “Where spirits live in harmony with God.” But the poem belongs to Dr. Jones and is quite lovely as written. I especially like the phrase, “In ecstasy of sweet oblivion.” What an inspired way to say, “lost in the music.”
“The Concert” is, indeed, a beautiful way to express appreciation for music. I also liked James’ version of the 2nd stanza, line 2. This version just sprung out at me: “Where purified spirits unite with God;” Regardless, this is an excellent poem.
Another possibility is:
“Where spirits alone live, at one with God.”
I just noticed that there’s an extra (11th) syllable in the line. How about reversing “live” and “alone” to: “Where spirits live alone, at one with God”. There are lots of possibilities. I do love the poem; it’s just that one line that felt as if it could benefit from a little tweaking.
“heart” should be plural–we all have different ones.
Great music doesn’t take me to oblivion; it discomposes me. Great music doesn’t “thrust” me, it shatters me.
Does music purify? I think it can expose, or force out honesty in spite of oneself.
I once silenced a whole noisy neighborhood by opening my window wide and turning up Pachabel’s famous Canon to full volume. Within a minute the crowd was hushed. They were overwhelmed by its beauty while it lasted. Whether they forgot themselves eternally I have no way of knowing. But they did temporarily.