.
Better with Love
I thought I was a pleasant sort
__When we first met.
Not perfect but near sweet and kind
__As one could get.
____I knew I had rough edges
____And for fixes I made pledges
____But there seemed no need for hedges
__In a nice safe bet.
It shocked me that you thought I had
__Annoying traits.
I knew there were a few but not
__A heaping plate.
____At first I got defensive
____Then it made me apprehensive
____That you thought they were extensive
__When I felt first rate.
It took too long but by and by
__I understood,
And realized your points of view
__Would do me good.
____You’re predominantly right
____And I’m mistaken when we fight
____I pray for insight every night
__To treat you like I should.
Your gifts keep shining ever brighter
__In my eyes.
Awareness of my stunning fortune
__Multiplies.
____You’re in many ways unique
____Each day my love hits a new peak
____I listen closely when you speak—
__Your wisdom clarifies.
Your blessings make me want to give you
__All I can.
To keep you happy everyday
__Is what I plan.
____You bring pleasure like a dream
____It’s clear we are an awesome team
____And with my love for you I scheme
__To be a better man.
.
.
Russel Winick recently started writing poetry after ending a long legal career. He resides in Naperville, Illinois.
A poem with meaning for many people, if we were wise enough to see it and realize the positive effect it had on our life.
Thanks Phil, for your gratifying comment.
Ah, blending together is an act of will and love, at least on your part. I am still looking for all the girls I thought I would have to fight off when I grew up because my mom said I was so handsome. (LOL) I enjoyed your poem and reflected on my own circumstances in marriage, especially when I was puzzled by criticism of things I had been doing before marriage that I thought were preferred and attractive. A “heaping plate” indeed.
Thank you Roy. I’m still working on emptying that plate.
This is definitely enjoyable, both the content and the fun and creative metrical scheme and rhyme scheme!
Thanks Cynthia. The way I wrote this, there is a slight pause between the latter syllables in the 2nd, 4th, and 8th lines of each stanza, but I truly have no clue if that’s how others will read it.
You make it seem so effortless, it is really quite sublime.
It reminds me of a certain hapless prince, don’t quite know why..
Thank you Mia, for that truly delightful comment.
Lovely, unique form for the poem, Russel. With the different line lengths and the xaxabbba rhyme scheme, each stanza speeds up toward its end, and the speaker flows convincingly from being a “safe bet” to his plan to be a “better man.”
Thank you for this kind analysis, Margaret. You may have understood my intent even better than I did!
Enjoyed your poem, Russel, especially its element of
surprise (for me) in the second half. After the first two strophes, I thought for sure it would be sayonara but instead it’s true love as the title promises. Lucky recipient.
I hadn’t thought of that, JD, but yep – I see it now. Thanks for the keen eye and interesting feedback.
I particularly liked the rhymes “defensive/apprehensive/extensive.” Lovely sentiments,
Thank you Sir. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Russel, this is a refreshing delight of a poem that sings to my ears and heart. I love the warmth, wit, and wonder. It’s beautiful!!
Thank you Susan. I sort of went out of my lane with this one. I’m so glad you enjoyed it.
Damn right you went out of your lane with this one, Russel, but that’s what a good driver can do with impunity. I’ll bet you even surprised yourself.
Thanks. Yes it was.
This is a lovely and edifying love poem, well done, thank you!
Thanks Yael. I greatly appreciate your warm comments.