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Rather Drown Than Hang
“He who is destined for the gallows will not be
drowned.” —Russian proverb
A lethal thing, the writ of man
_that soaks this realm like rain,
from the code of Hammurabi
_to the law of club and fang.
If in your courts I stand accused
_of the crime of being sane,
then grant me this, my last request.
_I’d rather drown than hang.
In Tartarus I met a bard
_and this to me he sang,
that the fate the teller has in store
_is the fate you’ve been ordained.
But in this, I found him blind, the bard,
_for I’m a teller, born and trained.
So I drew my pen and spelled it thus,
_I’d rather drown than hang.
I’ve heard of heights where harpies flew,
_of depths where sirens sang.
And I’d sooner drink the ocean dry
_than punctuate a chain.
You’ll find me where the great ships go,
_where the spiral meets the drain.
Bedded where the kraken sleeps,
_I’d rather drown than hang.
Whether pilgrim perched at Peter’s gate
_fumbling with my change,
or upon the prow of Charon’s skiff
_with a number for my name,
if at the toll some debt I owe,
_some piper I must pay,
then peel the coins from off my eyes.
_I’d rather drown than hang.
Come grain by grain, or guillotine,
_or robed in pitch and flame.
Come armed with silver scimitars
_and cleave me to the tang.
Come tearing, mad, as the dogs of God
_or graceful as a crane.
If death indulge me either/or,
_I’d rather drown than hang.
Some say the end is just the start.
_Some say it’s all a game.
Some say that Virgil leads you there.
_Some say you’re shoved by Cain.
But if truly all roads lead to Rome,
_I’ll make my merry way.
And if in the wood the path should fork
_I’d rather drown than hang.
So send me down the Valkyries.
_March me through the saints.
Cast me back, a flailing fish,
_upon the astral plane.
Just spare me, Gabriel, that old trap door.
_Escort me past the plank.
Thirst, I’ll know ya, nevermore.
_I’d rather drown than hang.
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A.R. Pereira is an American poet, carpenter, and martial artist.
Interesting interspersal of rhymes and slant rhymes depicting a most unusual base thought that required a creative mind to conceive and pull it off so well,
I like this poem. It is what I call “serio-comic,” in that it handles a dark subject in a manner that evokes some laughter. Serio-comic poems avoid being lugubriously solemn even if the topic they treat is gloomy or upsetting.
A few interesting points: the speaker calls himself a “teller,” which to me suggests that he is speaking as a writer, or at least someone who tells tales. And if he has to hang, it’s because he is convicted “of the crime of being sane.” In other words, he is a teller of inconvenient truths and must die for it. But he’d rather drown than hang for some reason, and this small fact becomes the hinge on which the entire poem “hangs.” He’s taken a short Russian proverb and embroidered its possibilities facetiously.
The entire poem is good, but the language in some stanzas powerfully effective, being funny and scary at the same time:
And I’d sooner drink the oceans dry
than punctuate a chain.
You’ll find me where the great ships go.
where the spiral meets that drain.
Bedded where the kraken sleeps,
I’d rather drown than hang.
He also blends different cultural stories about death, whether standing at the gates of heaven before Peter, or sitting in Charon’s skiff crossing the Styx. A reference to the pagan Virgil is linked with a reference to the biblical Cain; the Teutonic Valkyries (“choosers of the slain”) mix with the saints and with the angel Gabriel. The image of a soul fumbling in his pockets for change to pay Peter is a cute blend of Christian and pagan (normally it is Charon who must be paid); and the peeling of coins off the deceased person’s eyes adds another old custom to the mix.
The fifth stanza is particularly strong. It talks of several different methods of death in very precise and balanced language (a few of them quite savage). but manages to be funny at the same time! That is the mark of a true serio-comic poem.
The last image in the poem — the choice between the trap door of the gallows and the plank of execution by drowning — is just the right touch.