Poetry by Allison Ellison of Chapman, Kansas

Chasing the Devil

I’m losing sight of what I want.
I’ve lost the things I need.
Danger one step ahead of me,
I can’t help but proceed.

Why am I drawn to such a life
that brings me to my knees?
Where is the strength to stand up tall,
Deny what I will seize?

Now slumber is on my nightstand,
alarm set off in mind
Fast forward is trapped behind me,
I can’t quite reach rewind.

My ankle drags a ball and chain.
My eyes daring to peek.
WhileI’m flirting with my keeper
my soul is growing weak.

The devil creeping in my veins,
ignoring every plea.
He only wants to take my soul,
and live his life through me.

Embracing the Devil

I wish I had never tasted
what expands my growing mind
now my hunger is ongoing,
only knowledge satisfies.

I wish I had never tempted
at the lusting demons core
I’d be happiest when sober
never know that there is more.

So contemplation has me stumped.
Which is right and which is wrong?
Should a person keep their morals?
Never seek to play along?

I saw ahead with blackened eyes
what was soon to be my curse.
Now I know these hidden secrets,
but I wonder which is worse:

Asking heaps of hopeless questions
that will cease to be defined,
All your queries left unanswered
ones that never leave your mind,

or to be given the answers
for the questions you can’t speak,
answers carrying reluctance
ones that you would never seek?

With any road there comes a fork.
There’s just one that I’d undo
Once I thought I wanted answers,
now I wish I never knew.

I can give into the hunger
of this demon’s open mind,
and exceed every being
even the immortal kind,

Or, I can sink in tradition
never understand a thing,
but stay content and normal
accept the ending it will bring.

I will tango with my monster.
And take part in his parade.
They say good things can never last,
but they just won’t go away.

I won’t stumble on my feelings,
I refuse to speak my choice,
but I hear the demon calling
in my unfamiliar voice.

A prisoner inside myself
Held by knowledge I control
I know too much to turn around
I have signed away my soul.

Leaving the Devil

My own demon walks by
looks me dead in the eye.
His fingertips tickle my mind.
Frozen pins down my back
while he plots his attack.
My thoughts start to go in rewind.

My stomach is churning,
my throat welcomes burning.
His lure appears hard to defy.
My limbs all but breaking,
My earth busy quaking
He begs me to give one last try.

I’m hiding, he’s seeking.
He promised no peeking.
Temptation is testing the line.
My cells reassemble,
My movement a tremble
He says, “you will always be mine.”

My effort growing cold
As he goes for the gold
My courage decides to ignite
I’m pulling myself back
with a counter-attack.
I’m armed, and I’m ready to fight.

The war has since ended
Demon apprehended
He never expected to lose.
He allowed me a choice,
Not expecting my voice
Screaming “you are not what I choose!”

I am left with the pain
of a ball and a chain
but life I can now redefine.
Satan owns me no more.
I have settled the score.
My soul is eternally mine.

The Poet: I am a 19 year old full-time nursing student, employee, wife, and mother born and raised a Californian now living in Kansas to accommodate my husbands military career. As a young teenager I faced various self induced trials such as drug abuse and a pregnancy. My son’s life no doubt saved my own, and propelled me into a world of responsibility and adulthood I had not been prepared for. I took advantage of my circumstances and used them to better myself as a person, and also a mother. My experiences, both good and bad, have influenced my writing tremendously.

These poems are among the entries for the Society of Classical Poets’ 2012 Poetry Competition.