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Home Poetry Culture

‘Divorce – Brexit Style’ by Susan Jarvis Bryant

October 29, 2019
in Culture, Humor, Poetry
A A
10
poems 'Divorce – Brexit Style' by Susan Jarvis Bryant

 

My husband posed his need to leave; a family vote was cast.
The outcome brought me to my knees and left my heart aghast.
Now, I’m a tad controlling – of that I will admit;
“LEAVE” just means we’ll seal a DEAL for an amicable split.

It pains my soul to tell you that my family is thick.
The brightest one’s a bigot and a hod short of a brick.
Their meagre education and imbecilic views
have left them prey to hubby’s illusion-infused ruse.

Another vote is what I need to set the blockheads straight.
When they hear my side, they will decide on terms that I dictate.
Meanwhile, my fees for leaving will escalate and soar,
with bureaucracy so blinding he’ll steer clear of the door.

I’ll spurn the date he’s earmarked to start a life that’s free
and scorn and snub and spurn again until he stays with me.
I intend to be insufferable – a shrew who digs complaining
until my spouse drops his grouse in the interest of REMAINing!

 

 

 

Susan Jarvis Bryant is a church secretary and poet whose homeland is Kent, England.  She is now an American citizen living on the coastal plains of Texas.  Susan has poetry published in the UK webzine, Lighten Up On Line, The Daily Mail, and Openings (anthologies of poems by Open University Poets).

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Comments 10

  1. Rohini says:
    7 years ago

    Delightful! I thoroughly enjoyed this.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant says:
      7 years ago

      Wonderful! Thank you!

      Reply
  2. Mike Bryant says:
    7 years ago

    I believe you have summed up the Brexit fiasco in eight hilarious couplets. As I read, I am anticipating the next internal rhyme or snigger. Really funny and beautiful!

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant says:
      7 years ago

      Thank you, biggest fan!

      Reply
  3. Joseph S. Salemi says:
    7 years ago

    This is a perfect depiction of the arrogance and insufferable elitism of the anti-Brexiteers. They are determined to obstruct the expressed will of the British people, who have voted to leave the corrupt and bureaucratically tyrannical E.U. — a disgusting Smiley-Face version of the Third Reich.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant says:
      7 years ago

      You’re spot on, Mr. Salemi. Thank you for your perspicacious observation.

      Reply
  4. C.B. Anderson says:
    7 years ago

    Susan, you might have dropped a metrical stitch here and there, but once again you’ve nailed it.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant says:
      7 years ago

      Thank you, Mr. Anderson.

      Reply
  5. Brent Pallas says:
    7 years ago

    Wonderful. Has the wit and tension of the best of Wendy Cope’s verse….even better in some ways.

    Reply
  6. Susan Jarvis Bryant says:
    7 years ago

    Thank you very much, Brent. I appreciate your comment for more than one reason: firstly, your insightful eye (it certainly lives up to your surname) and secondly, the Wendy Cope comparison. This gifted and witty poet is an inspiration of mine and I’m extremely flattered. You have made my morning!

    Reply

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  1. Susan Jarvis Bryant on ‘Spontaneous Conjugal Combustion’ and Other Poems by Susan Jarvis BryantMay 12, 2026

    Joe, I love your interpretation - as far as I'm concerned" a gold-digging young gigolo who attaches himself to a…

  2. Roy Eugene Peterson on National Poetry Month Limerick ChallengeMay 12, 2026

    Urszula, what an imaginative limerick! That is something Poe might have done! Sorry to be so late seeing this.

  3. Roy Eugene Peterson on National Poetry Month Limerick ChallengeMay 12, 2026

    Agreed, Urszula! Thank you for commenting.

  4. Joseph S. Salemi on ‘Spontaneous Conjugal Combustion’ and Other Poems by Susan Jarvis BryantMay 12, 2026

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  5. Susan Jarvis Bryant on ‘Spontaneous Conjugal Combustion’ and Other Poems by Susan Jarvis BryantMay 12, 2026

    Yael, it's always lovely to hear from you. I'm thrilled you enjoyed the poems. I did have people in mind…

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