.
Fool’s Gold
In a febrile jungle region where the threats to life are legion
And deflected rays land each on greenness rich as burnished jade
Ventured forth a treasure seeker, heeding not a Mayan speaker
Who forewarned of visions bleaker than the jokes Camazotz played.
The ascent ahead was daunting, mist enshrouded, clinging, haunting,
As if nature there was flaunting power that would never yield
To the steel of honed machete, laboured breaths of mortal sweaty—
Every step a struggle, yet he strove ahead for gold concealed.
He pursued suspicions spoken of a gilded temple broken,
Left abandoned, never woken by the screech of red macaw
Or the Spanish come to plunder, slicing native limbs asunder,
Fast as lightning, loud as thunder, in a show of shock and awe.
Generations (to their credit) never wavered, never said it,
That a sacred site still bled it: veins of precious Mayan gold
In the form of glyph inscriptions, astronomical predictions,
And exquisite gold depictions representing gods of old.
As the day wore on, he dithered, fearing Kukulkan still slithered,
Though the Classic age had withered when the jungle blocked the sun.
The uneasy pathway picker found his heartbeat pounding quicker
Through imagining the flicker of a shaman’s fire begun—
And behind each banyan pillar, fearsome Ek Balam, the killer,
Seemed to menace like a thriller that is read in blackest night;
Every step a new page turning, sabre teeth, and bright eyes burning,
Till a yellow livered yearning set his shuffling feet to flight.
The retreating desperado, full of fear and false bravado
Left his dream of El Dorado on that eerie mountainside.
As he passed the Mayan mystic, scribes detailed one more statistic
On a stela ritualistic that the tribe maintained with pride
For display each first of April, when accounts of fools are told till
Celebrating dancers’ hips still, and tears of mirth are dried.
.
Poet’s Explanation of Mayan Names:
Camazotz—“Death bat” spirit of the underworld
Kukulkan—Feathered serpent deity
Ek Balam—A Mayan god represented by the black jaguar
.
.
David Watt is a writer from Canberra, the “Bush Capital” of Australia. He has contributed regularly to Collections of Poetry and Prose by Robin Barratt. When not working for IP (Intellectual Property) Australia, he finds time to appreciate the intrinsic beauty of traditional rhyming poetry.
Beautifully rendered story of El Dorado, David. Superb imagery, and very pleasing rhyme and meter!
Thank you very much Paul. I’m glad the fearsome images were effective.
Outstanding! It reminds me of the admirable Kipling.
Any comparison to Kipling is most gratifying thanks Mary.
Wow! Took me a second read to get the rhythm. As Mary says – very Kipling-esque.
Alas, the treasure seeker was no Indiana Jones.
Thanks for the read.
That’s for sure Paul, this treasure seeker would be afraid of his own shadow.
David,
What a well-crafted tale told in verse! I think the meter and rhythm that you used in this piece was just right for carrying the story forward and building to the climax of panic where our fearless adventurer fled for his life.
I was impressed by the clever rhymes and nearly impeccable meter. I only tripped in the very last line, where it felt one syllable short. Perhaps an inserted “their” or “the” before the phrase “tears of mirth”? (Unless it was an intentionally shortened line. I’m always fearful to make suggestions on fellow poet’s well thought through poems.)
Well done!
Hello Anna. I’m never averse to suggestions. You are correct that the fourth foot in the final line is one syllable shorter. I opted for a shorter, more general ‘tears of mirth’ as a concluding variation, I appreciate your observation, and your kind comments.
I very much enjoyed this Indiana Jones-like poem, David, with its many jungle and Mayan references. Have you been to that part of the world? I’ve been to Tikal, Copan and some other Mayan sites and you get it very right. I especially like your reference to Kukulkan and his serpentine slither (which very directly relates to the pyramid at Chichen Itza.) Excellent, evocative work!
Hello Brian, I haven’t yet been to that part of the world. It would be wonderful to experience these sites in person to appreciate the scale of construction and add context to cultural beliefs. I was thinking of Chichen Itza when I included Kukulkan.
Fantastic rhyming, David.
Bravo, David. I echo the compliments on your rhyming prowess. This tale has a narrative cohesion and drive that make me want to hear it recited–especially around a campfire in the jungle, with occasional interruptions by those macaws (if not by a jaguar).
I get the stylistic connection to Kipling. I wonder if any readers would suggest a similarity to Longfellow.
Thank you, Cheryl and Julian. In regard to rhyming, I follow the example of a few fellow SCP rhymers in coming up with some less obvious choices. I’m thrilled that you like the narrative style.
By the shores of Gitchee Gumee,
By the shining Big-Sea-Water,
At the doorway of his wigwam,
In the pleasant summer morning,
Hiawatha stood and waited.
These are the lines of Longfellow’s “Song of Hiawatha” that immediately came to my mind. When I opened the book to see what part of that EXTREMELY long poem they come from, I see they open the final section. I recall my mother reciting these and other atmospheric portions of that major epic no longer read because Longfellow didn’t know enough about native Americans to write it. Only as an adult did I read the full fifty-plus pages in double columns of small type, and make selections for high-school students to experience.
David, congratulations on excellent use of meter and method to compose an April fool’s adventure lyric. I seriously recommend more of the great American poet to others!
David, I love this poem for its great story… a story that captivates throughout, but most of all for the meter, internal rhyme, and smooth musicality which carries the tale along with passion and panache. Great stuff – thank you!
David, a work of pure genius. A great story written with great attention to rhyme and meter. You have excelled yourself with this. Absolutely well done.
Thank you, Susan and Jeff. I’m thrilled that you found the meter and rhyme smooth and successful in this humorous narrative.