‘One or the Other’ by Norma Pain

.

“Make a decision,” is what me ma said,
As she wearily plucked at each feather,
‘Er old gnarled fingers rough and red
And clumsily workin’ together.
“Yer’ll not get another chance like this,
Two offers in less than a week.
Great mother of pearl! A decision now girl,
This situation’s unique.”

She smoothed ‘er ‘ands down ‘er faded frock.
“They’re neither o’ them from the slums.
Both o’ them lads come from suitable stock.”
As the stale bread was chopped into crumbs.
“Make up yer mind now which one it’ll be,
Tie the knot so we don’t ‘ave t’ worry.”
“But I’m in me prime ma, there’s plenty o’ time ma,
I don’t understand, what’s the hurry?”

“Me an’ yer pa want ta see ya wed,
While we’re still alive an’ kickin’.
Don’t put it off till we’re sick or dead.”
She grumbled above the pale chicken.
“They’re both of ‘em fine young gentlemen,
Ambitious an’ makin’ a wage.
Just be glad they’re employed,” she sounded annoyed,
As she mixed in the onion and sage.

“Yer not gettin’ any younger ya know,
Decent guys will get ‘arder t’ find.
If yer wait too much longer yer wrinkles‘ll show,
Yer’ll be needin’ somebody ‘alf blind.
Just listen up now an’ don’t scowl like that,
Yer’d better pay mind to yer mother.
Yer father an’ me, we both agree,
Yer ‘ave ta choose one or the other.”

“But ma I’m not graspin’ at every crumb,
I’ve only just turned twenty-nine.
I don’t feel that way about either of ‘em.
That Otto’s a bit of a swine.
An’ even though Dwight’s in a church membership,
Although ‘e’s good lookin’ an’ trim,
Did yer notice ‘e skips with ‘is ‘ands on ‘is ‘ips,
There’s somethin’ not right about ‘im.”

“Just make a decision an’ don’t be s’ picky,
Yer’d think yer were queen o’ the Nile.
Yer’ll end up an old maid like Abigail Hickey,
She’ll never walk down the aisle.
Don’t be so foolish an’ full o’ yourself,
They’re both of ‘em smitten wi’ you.
Yer cannot refuse so just bloody well choose,
One or the other will do.”

“Yer don’t understand ma, they’re just not me type,
It’s different today than back then.”
“Baloney!” She uttered, “That’s nothin’ but tripe.”
As the stuffin’ was crammed in the hen.
“Things is no different, it’s all in yer ‘ead,
Pay attention, I’ll tell yer what’s true.
Yer takin’ a chance if yer wait for romance,
One or the other will do.”

“Our Edgar’s not married yet, what about ‘im?
‘Ow come ‘e’s not gettin’ nagged,
Ta marry that girl, the one ‘e calls Kim,
The one ‘e’s been boastin’ ‘e shagged?”
“Leave Edgar out o’ this, ‘e’s a good lad,
There’s plenty o’ time fer yer brother,
But without any doubt, yer time’s runnin’ out,
Yer’ll ‘ave ta choose one or the other.”

“But Otto, ‘e works in a butcher’s shop,
An’ Dwight’s in the co-op in beddin’.
Neither o’ them’s gonna get ta the top,
We’ll never afford a big weddin.”
“Well, ‘scuse me yer ladyship, ‘ere comes ya coach,
Yer off ta traverse Timbuktu!
But fer chasin’ down pelf, yer’ll be left on the shelf,
One or the other will do.

“Stir up this gravy now, there’s a good lass,
An’ tell me when it starts ta thicken.
Yer gotta remember we ain’t upper class,
There’s no steak fer us, only chicken.
Yer father an’ me’s only wantin’ what’s best,
I’ll not say n’ more,” said me mother.
“Yer knows what yer worth so come back down ta earth,
Yer just got ta choose one or the other!”

.

.

Norma Pain was born in Liverpool, England and now lives in Parksville, British Columbia, Canada. Thirty of Norma’s poems were published by Dana Literary Society, between 2004 and 2007 and she was twice nominated for the Pushcart Prize by that same on-line poetry site. She self-published a book of rhyme in 2000 called Bulging Assets.