‘Political Banter’ and Other Poetry by Alan Jankowski

Political Banter

Once again it’s that time of year,
When political banter seems the rage.
When otherwise normal people,
Try to come off as some worldly sage.

I have friends who are really nice folks,
Any other time of the year.
But, once they start with the political rants,
I really don’t want them near.

Of course, their views are always right,
How could it be any other way?
And you too could be right like them,
If you just listen to what they say.

Some people take it all quite seriously,
And engage in rather spirited exchange.
As if convincing all their Facebook friends,
Will bring about a world of change.

But the more I hear all this political banter,
The more it makes me think.
That the only party I want to join,
Is one where I can get a drink.

Arrested by the Grammar Police

It seems that lately I can’t get no peace,
From all those so-called Grammar Police,
Who for some reason think that I should care,
The difference between there, they’re and their.

They want to analyze everything I say,
Just waiting for me to lie when I want to lay,
And I really think they just do it because,
They want to further some petty cause.

So, what I do is I mess with there head,
I write the word red when I really mean read,
And I couldn’t care less if they throe a fit,
Should I confuse the words elicit with illicit.

And it really don’t phase me if I’m derelict,
By writing something like “cause and affect,”
I’ll just stare and say “Whatcha gonna do?”
If I want to write that the sky is blew.

Though I really shutter at the very thought,
I’ll try to be discrete and not get caught,
But if they should arrest me and throe me in jail,
Just bee sure and come and post my bale.