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Treasure in Heaven
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth,
where moths and vermin destroy, and where
thieves break in and steal. But store up for
yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and
vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not
break in and steal.” —Matthew 6:19-20
A certain man and Satan met
for coffee every day at two.
The man just sipped as he received
the list of all he had to do.
“My loyal President, it’s time.”
he heard his lord and master say,
“Our ninety-thousand IRS
armed agents must make Christians pay.
“We know that Christian treasure’s stored
within a lawless tax-free zone.
It’s ruled by God, who thumbs his nose
at us perched on His golden throne.
So, go disguise our brand-new wolves
like sheep so each will be prepared
to audit all the income that
we know has never been declared.
“Let’s send subpoenas right away
so we can get all God’s accounts.
Then we’ll march right through Heaven’s gates
so we can check all the amounts.
When that’s complete, we’ll send out bills
for all the tax and interest owed
and then they’ll gnash their teeth and wail,
and we will hit the motherlode.
“But there’s a chance that God believes
Himself to be above our law.
If He ignores us, we’ll attack
His favorite sheep with shock and awe.
We’ll have to target those who’ve stored
the most inside His treasury,
so we’ll be sure to maximize
the pain on Christianity.
“Up first will be the sheep who think
the pre-born have humanity,
and then in second place are those
who don’t agree with CRT,
next Red State Moms who get involved
with what our teachers teach about,
and then the pastors but just those
who are so dumb that they speak out.
“We must prepare for pre-dawn raids
with all our weapons fully drawn,
and CNN must be there too
with all their lights and cameras on.
My faithful servant you’ve done well,
you have been such a help to me.
You’ve truly earned a place right next
to me for all eternity.”
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Warren Bonham is a private equity investor who lives in Southlake, Texas.
Warren, I very much enjoyed your poem this morning, satire and a little humor to describe the truly terrible situation in our country. Thank you.
Phil, I’m glad you enjoyed it despite the sad reality.
I so admire the courage in putting on paper all the trials that we must go through at the hands of the government that should be protecting us.
I hope none of this triggers pre-dawn raids for anyone.
Nice snap at the end. Good stuff, Mr. Bonham.
Eternity is a long time. We’d all do well to spend more time pondering that.
This was fun to read (in spite of its topic!), and I love the way you framed it as a conversation between Satan and “a certain man” — who is certainly one of his disciples.
It was fun to write (also despite the topic). Thanks for the supportive comment
Exquisite rhyme and meter are matched by a massive unmistaken message that haunts all of us under the present abject abominable administration. Well done!
I’m glad it came across as intended! Thanks for the comment.
Good concept, Warren, concerning tax evasion on “Christian treasure stored within a lawless tax-free zone.” It is indeed unreported income–and clever of you to imagine first how IRS agents think they might obtain documentary proof. The narrative gets more somber (and lawless on the agents’ part) when they decide to take punishing action against the Christians who are richest in heavenly goods. This shows how weaponized government takes aim at law-abiding citizens for their ideas. Not a pleasant prospect, but well done on your part.
I didn’t mean to give the IRS new ideas for how to raise more revenue, but there’s a good chance this has occurred to them already.
Nice! The devil causing the IRS to make a claim on God’s treasury is a very clever plot line. I love how you unfold this story to its bitter ending.