• Submit Poetry
  • Support SCP
  • About Us
  • Members
  • Join
Monday, October 27, 2025
Society of Classical Poets
  • Poems
    • Beauty
    • Culture
    • Satire
    • Humor
    • Children’s
    • Art
    • Ekphrastic
    • Epic
    • Epigrams and Proverbs
    • Human Rights in China
    • Music
    • Performing Arts
    • Riddles
    • Science
    • Song Lyrics
    • The Environment
    • The Raven
    • Found Poems
    • High School Poets
    • Terrorism
    • Covid-19
  • Poetry Forms
    • Sonnet
    • Haiku
    • Limerick
    • Villanelle
    • Rondeau
    • Pantoum
    • Sestina
    • Triolet
    • Acrostic
    • Alexandroid
    • Alliterative
    • Blank Verse
    • Chant Royal
    • Clerihew
    • Rhupunt
    • Rondeau Redoublé
    • Rondel
    • Rubaiyat
    • Sapphic Verse
    • Shape Poems
    • Terza Rima
  • Great Poets
    • Geoffrey Chaucer
    • Emily Dickinson
    • Homer
    • Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
    • Dante Alighieri
    • John Keats
    • John Milton
    • Edgar Allan Poe
    • William Shakespeare
    • William Wordsworth
    • William Blake
    • Robert Frost
  • Love Poems
  • Contests
  • SCP Academy
    • Educational
    • Teaching Classical Poetry—A Guide for Educators
    • Poetry Forms
    • The SCP Journal
    • Books
No Result
View All Result
Society of Classical Poets
  • Poems
    • Beauty
    • Culture
    • Satire
    • Humor
    • Children’s
    • Art
    • Ekphrastic
    • Epic
    • Epigrams and Proverbs
    • Human Rights in China
    • Music
    • Performing Arts
    • Riddles
    • Science
    • Song Lyrics
    • The Environment
    • The Raven
    • Found Poems
    • High School Poets
    • Terrorism
    • Covid-19
  • Poetry Forms
    • Sonnet
    • Haiku
    • Limerick
    • Villanelle
    • Rondeau
    • Pantoum
    • Sestina
    • Triolet
    • Acrostic
    • Alexandroid
    • Alliterative
    • Blank Verse
    • Chant Royal
    • Clerihew
    • Rhupunt
    • Rondeau Redoublé
    • Rondel
    • Rubaiyat
    • Sapphic Verse
    • Shape Poems
    • Terza Rima
  • Great Poets
    • Geoffrey Chaucer
    • Emily Dickinson
    • Homer
    • Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
    • Dante Alighieri
    • John Keats
    • John Milton
    • Edgar Allan Poe
    • William Shakespeare
    • William Wordsworth
    • William Blake
    • Robert Frost
  • Love Poems
  • Contests
  • SCP Academy
    • Educational
    • Teaching Classical Poetry—A Guide for Educators
    • Poetry Forms
    • The SCP Journal
    • Books
No Result
View All Result
Society of Classical Poets
No Result
View All Result
Home Poetry Humor

‘The Flea (A Retort)’ by Paul Brown

January 8, 2016
in Humor, Poetry
A A
0
TerBorsch, Boy Picking Fleas from Dog.jpg

TerBorsch, Boy Picking Fleas from Dog.jpg

Do forgive me strange little man
If I’d rather remove your hands
Than risk a trip to the clinic
For laying with one so unhygienic
Who must slumber with hounds at night
To have contracted such a parasite.

Tis not me who should be bested.
But surely tis you who should be tested.
I fear what the flea may have ingested.

Enough, speak no more of marriage
As if ‘twere white horse and golden carriage.
Do not besmirch the church, dear sir,
But do medicate your bright red blister.
The words you speak are blasphemy;
A connubial coupling will not be.

So honor my gentle behest,
Though it may cause you some painful distress,
Please take your wandering eyes off my breasts.

As for the flea you no more see,
It was never innocent trinity.
Nor was it guilty in the main,
For instincts it was unable to tame.
Perhaps you should heed the shepherd
Who waxes with a passion unfettered.

Offer love at its pinnacle.
Confess true.  Be not so equivocal
Nor, for the heart’s sake, metaphysical.

 

Paul Brown is currently a full-time English Instructor at the University of South Carolina.  He was most recently published in The New Guard Literary Review and Milkfist.  

Featured Image: The Flea-Catcher (Boy with his Dog) – Gerard Terborch

ShareTweetPin
The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary.
Read Our Comments Policy Here
Next Post
Essay: ‘The Poet as Maker’ by James Sale

Essay: 'The Poet as Maker' by James Sale

‘Phaethon’s Dare’ by Gregory Palmerino

'Phaethon’s Dare' by Gregory Palmerino

‘The Tears of the Gods’ and Other Poetry by  Robert S. Hubbard

'The Tears of the Gods' and Other Poetry by Robert S. Hubbard

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. Margaret Coats on ‘Lotus’: A Poem by Margaret CoatsOctober 27, 2025

    Thanks for your comment, Warren. Think of yourself as one of the poetic spirits, about whom that favorite line speaks!…

  2. Margaret Coats on ‘Like a Book’: A Spenserian Sonnet by Jeffrey EssmannOctober 27, 2025

    A model Spenserian sonnet, Jeffrey. Each quatrain is a complete sentence, yet the Spenserian rhyme scheme carries the thought smoothly…

  3. Roy Eugene Peterson on ‘Like a Book’: A Spenserian Sonnet by Jeffrey EssmannOctober 27, 2025

    Jeffrey, you packed some beautiful timeless thoughts into your Spenserian sonnet offering hope to those who lean on the everlasting…

  4. Joseph S. Salemi on ‘Like a Book’: A Spenserian Sonnet by Jeffrey EssmannOctober 27, 2025

    This is a good example of the 17th-century "conceit,'" or strange and extended metaphor that dominates the poem from start…

  5. Margaret Coats on ‘Lotus’: A Poem by Margaret CoatsOctober 27, 2025

    The lotus is a sensational symbol, especially in Asia. The idea that "every heart conceals a lotus bud" comes from…

Receive Poems in Your Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 1,620 other subscribers
Facebook Twitter Youtube

Archive

Categories

Quick Links

  • About Us
  • Submit Poetry
  • Become a Member
  • Members List
  • Support the Society
  • Advertisement Placement
  • Comments Policy
  • Terms of Use

Welcome Back!

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password?

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In
No Result
View All Result
  • Poems
    • Beauty
    • Culture
    • Satire
    • Humor
    • Children’s
    • Art
    • Ekphrastic
    • Epic
    • Epigrams and Proverbs
    • Human Rights in China
    • Music
    • Performing Arts
    • Riddles
    • Science
    • Song Lyrics
    • The Environment
    • The Raven
    • Found Poems
    • High School Poets
    • Terrorism
    • Covid-19
  • Poetry Forms
    • Sonnet
    • Haiku
    • Limerick
    • Villanelle
    • Rondeau
    • Pantoum
    • Sestina
    • Triolet
    • Acrostic
    • Alexandroid
    • Alliterative
    • Blank Verse
    • Chant Royal
    • Clerihew
    • Rhupunt
    • Rondeau Redoublé
    • Rondel
    • Rubaiyat
    • Sapphic Verse
    • Shape Poems
    • Terza Rima
  • Great Poets
    • Geoffrey Chaucer
    • Emily Dickinson
    • Homer
    • Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
    • Dante Alighieri
    • John Keats
    • John Milton
    • Edgar Allan Poe
    • William Shakespeare
    • William Wordsworth
    • William Blake
    • Robert Frost
  • Love Poems
  • Contests
  • SCP Academy
    • Educational
    • Teaching Classical Poetry—A Guide for Educators
    • Poetry Forms
    • The SCP Journal
    • Books

© 2025 SCP. WebDesign by CODEC Prime.

This website uses cookies. By continuing to use this website you are giving consent to cookies being used. Visit our Privacy and Cookie Policy.