Woman:
Why choose the red dress, dear?
Reply:
To me it’s really white,
To you it should be clear,
Mood sets a color right!
Boy:
Are you playing handball?
Reply:
No! In fact it’s football.
Since leaving our big eggs
We’re quadrupeds on two legs!
R.G. Kaimal is a write living in Bangalore, India.
Your power of description is exceptional. "Gelatinously smooth and slow" water; the "one great swirling golden ray" of mist; willows…
This is a beautiful trio of poems about incense, Margaret; and you have so skillfully woven together the several varied…
Thank you for this poem. It came at a time when I needed a bit of tranquility and beauty.
Thank you, Michael, for that lovely thought and kind comment, which I very much appreciate. Best wishes, Bruce.
Shaun, what a brave new world of toxic tone! Choosing a chatbot as voice, you've accounted for its apparent "nature"…
Humorous indeed, and a very welcome way to start the day!
Many thanks!
That was fun to read!!!
R.G. Hello. I have three comments. First, I like the idea of a conversational exchange between a man and a woman in a poem. It reminds me of the song “Baby It’s Cold Outside.” Second, because of the space between “dear” and “clear,” the rhyme did not resonate with me that strongly. In a conversation poem, I would have a rhyme in each segment of the conversation. Third, if you have colorful language in a conversation between a male and a female, it might make some readers more comfortable if you identify the speakers as Wife and Husband, rather than Girl and Boy, for example. Here is what I have in mind:
Wife:
Iamb, iamb, iamb, iamb, rhyme A
Iamb, iamb, iamb, iamb, rhyme A
Husband:
Iamb, iamb, iamb, iamb, rhyme B
Iamb, iamb, iamb, iamb, rhyme B
Of course, poems are not always intended to make the reader comfortable. It depends on your objective. Thank you for sharing your poems with us!
Lovely, light poetry