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Home Poetry Culture

‘Nevermore! If Edgar Allan Poe Submitted “The Raven” today’ by Tonia Kalouria

January 2, 2021
in Culture, Edgar Allan Poe, Humor, Poetry
A A
14
crow raven

crow raven

 

Dear Edgar,
__We’re sorry our response
has taken so much time,
but it grieves and pains to tell you that
you’ve missed our paradigm.
__While past works were droll and erudite
—nay, frighteningly “sublime!”—
we just couldn’t help but notice, Ed,
Alas! This thing shows rhyme!

 

 

Tonia Kalouria, a former Spanish teacher and “soap” actress, is now a poet in Chagrin Falls, Ohio. Her most recent — and rhyming — poems appear in Literary Veganism and Fox Hollow Stories, and two anthologies: “Quoth the Raven” and “Poems from the Lockdown.”

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Comments 14

  1. Bruce Wren says:
    5 years ago

    Awesome! Very clever!

    Reply
    • Tonia Kalouria says:
      5 years ago

      Bruce,
      I couldn’t be happier that you chose “clever” to describe my
      Poe poem, Nevermore!
      Thanks so much!

      Reply
  2. Benjamen Grinberg says:
    5 years ago

    Indeed.

    Reply
    • Tonia Kalouria says:
      5 years ago

      Thank you, Benjamin for your concurring comment on my Poe poem!

      Reply
  3. Dave Whippman says:
    5 years ago

    Clever poem. True as well. I once heard someone dismiss a certain poet this: “You won’t believe it, but his stuff actually rhymes!”

    Reply
    • Tonia Kalouria says:
      5 years ago

      Dave,
      Love your validation of what the “Never Rhymers” have been able to achieve. It’s up to us to rectify this wrong-headed nonsense.

      Reply
  4. Louise Kalouria says:
    5 years ago

    I love this Tonia!

    Reply
    • Tonia Kalouria says:
      5 years ago

      Thank you, Louise! I’m so glad you like it. We could all use a bit of levity about now, eh?

      Reply
  5. Cynthia Erlandson says:
    5 years ago

    I like it!

    Reply
    • Tonia Kalouria says:
      5 years ago

      Thank you, Cynthia! It was fun to write as Poe is my favorite.

      Reply
  6. C.B. Anderson says:
    5 years ago

    Funny, and true. Never knuckle under!

    Reply
    • Tonia Kalouria says:
      5 years ago

      Dear C.B.,
      You betcha! Knuckle down, yes. Knuckle under — NEVER!
      Thanks for noting the humor and aptness!

      Reply
  7. Susan Jarvis Bryant says:
    5 years ago

    Highly amusing… and extremely encouraging to all those rebellious rhymers out there.

    Reply
    • Tonia Kalouria says:
      5 years ago

      Dear Susan,
      Thank you: So happy that you found my Poe poem amusing and perhaps even encouraging to others on the Great Rhyming Quest.

      Reply

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