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Split a line from a nursery rhyme and use the halves to open and close a poem. Post yours in the comments section below. This challenge comes from Joe Tessitore, who offers the below two examples:
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“The Farmer in the Dell”
The farmer
Raised a tower for his bell
With tools of power, he built well.
Now on the hour, hear its knell
In field and bower,
In the dell.
.
“Mary Had a Little Lamb”
Mary had
A dinner party
And her menu, it was hearty.
For the kids, a can of Spam
And for Grandpa,
A little lamb.
.
.
Wickedly good.
Jack and Jill
their bucket fill
with earth, they’re tired and feeling ill.
The chieftain ‘s barrow empties still,
each time the curious children will
run up the hill.
Twinkle, twinkle,
There’s a wrinkle
‘Round my eyes, the lines do mar.
Twinkle, twinkle, it’s a crinkle
Shaped just like a
Little star.
Very good! Bravo!
Nice twist! Liked it a lot
Thank you. You made me smile. Talking, like my shaving mirror does to me. I look like the milky way.
‘Twas brillig, and
The gimbling band
Of Bandersnatches
Made their catches
In the burbling borogoves
Where Jubjub loves
The slithy toves.
I liked the choice the best, though the execution is great as well. It reminded me that I’ve seen translations into French and German of Jabberwocky, which kind of blew my mind. How do you translate nonsense?
Absolutlely a trophy for this..you gave me my first smile of the day. I love the original, as well.
Delightful!
Thank you, Cynthia
Peter Peeper
was a loser,
druggy and a constant boozer;
mum and dad said he must choose a
job like architect, or muse or
chimney sweeper.
Paul..
This is so well done. You have me laughing.!
For that, I am utterly appreciative?
Yours,
Patricia
The itsy bitsy spider
fell in the roofer’s cider,
and promptly was
dumped out.
Wee arachnid brilliant
was quite resilient,
went up the waterspout.
Mary mary,
quite the fairy
found the forest very scary…
always watching, always wary.
So she took the nearest ferry
where she found the grassy prairie
quite contrary.
There was an old woman who
very well knew
the rent on her condo was
long overdue,
and children she had in that
humble abode
were more than allowed by her
contract and code.
Evict me she said, after
all I’ve been through,
it couldn’t get worse if I
lived in a shoe.
Three blind mice
(But why? Who knows?)
Thought it nice
To chew on panty hose.
I think it wouldn’t
Be much fun
Because they couldn’t
See how they run.
Brilliant!
Little boy blue
whined, “There’s nothing to do!”
He was feeling rather forlorn.
Music practice he shirked.
His mother was irked,
thus she bellowed,
“Come blow your horn!”
The Grand Old Duke of York,
Prince Andrew, so it’s said,
Had a meeting with Jeff Epstein,
When he should have stayed in bed.
The English Queen was not amused,
Sat there in her Golden Crown,
When she heard about his trousers,
They were neither up nor down.
Jack, be nimble
With that fuse —
A long one is the type to use.
If it’s long, it does the trick.
If it’s short, well…
Jack, be quick.
Another spark of brilliance!
I love this one!
God forgive my bawdy mind, but this one had a hilarious Freudian level to it.
Joseph!
Perfection. A supeb write. You do have a
marvelous wit, thank you!
Patricia
Hey diddle, diddle
Begins the riddle
Of what is that screeching sound?
They looked around
And then they found
The cat in the fiddle.
Jack Sprat
beneath his hat
knew the good that lean begat.
His protein diet strictly met
had kept him well with one regret —
forever tasting as he sat
remorse that he
could eat no fat.
Sing a song of ‘sixpence’,
which also was a ‘tanner’
half of which was ‘thruppence’,
nut-shaped for a spanner.
Two sixpences, they made a ‘shilling’,
twelve of them a ‘pound’
the smallest note of England’s realm
that at that time was found.
Two shillings was a ‘florin’,
A ‘ha’p’ny’, half a p;
then ‘tuppence’ was two pennies,
not a real coin you see.
Now getting back to sixpences
they were a common thing,
whilst sovereigns, made of gold, were fit
to set before a king.
Alas, I used the first and the last line. Whoops!
There was a crooked man
at least in my opinion,
who sought to rule a nation
through pure fraud and dominion.
With the backing of the CCP
plus his own clandestine style,
waltzed his way to Capitol Hill
and he went a crooked mile.
*I promise this is my last one. Although I’m not a member here, I thank you for the opportunity to participate here. It was challenging and fun.
If I may be so bold, you should join us.
Mr. Tessitore, I am humbled by your boldness. I will prayerfully consider it. Thank you!
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
In winter and before he knew it
His ass froze to it!
Spring was a bummer
And so was his summer
Till it thawed and
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Lol
There was an old lady who needed a mate
So her friends set her up and she went on a date.
The man’s name was Peter, a picker by trade
Of peppers, potatoes, and other nightshades.
The man whispered gently, do tell, is it true?
I heard you were poor, and you lived in a shoe.
Oh no, no, not I, did the woman deny,
I’m just the lady who swallowed a fly.
Very cool!
Thank you Joe, and thank you for suggesting this challenge. It was very fun to participate in, and even more fun to read all of the great, witty responses that come from all of the talented people on this platform.
Good Choice of words that worked
Mary, Mary, she was hairy
As a man whose whiskers grow.
So with gels and sharpened shells
She cut them down all in a row.
This is not exactly according to Joe T’s plan, but I couldn’t resist it:
There was a crooked man
And he really was a louse.
He ran a rigged casino
With card-sharps like his spouse.
Alas, they did not prosper
(Rhyme here with “blouse” or “douse”)
Since gamblers would not bet against
A little crooked house.
Hickory Dick
let’s make it quick –
all done in the tick
of a tock!
You won’t cure the sick
with a needle that thick!
Is this shot compuls-
ory Doc?
Tmesis! Wow!
Joe S., I didn’t even know I had indulged in tmesis, and it wasn’t remotely painful! Thank you for my new word of the day… I love it! Absobloodylutely marvelous!
Super clever. Love stuff like this!
Hey diddle, diddle…
Doctor Lock knew a barman called Dick.
Dickey hit drinks with almond, a flick.
The Doc liked the slick, tasty trick,
So he ordered Dick’s almond-flick kick.
Now the Doctor showed up every night
Because Dick made his favorite just right.
But one evening Dick changed up Doc’s pick.
He had run out of Doc’s almond stock.
Doc sniffed, “Almond Daiquiri, Dick?”
Dick quipped, “Hickory Daiquiri, Doc.”
The mouse ran up the clock.
Holy cow (that didn’t jump over the moon) – is that good!!!
Bravo, Mike!
Thanks, Joe, but I didn’t exactly follow the rules. 🙂
I don’t know exactly how to say it, Mike, but that seems to be in the rules and out of the rulers, maybe beyond the rules?
In any event, some of the best writing I’ve ever read!
With tools of power
He forged a people
Man’s red flower?
Please, it pails under the steeple
As a speaker with no equal
Tells a tale to torment
A sermon of hell
Ode to fear and all its ferment
With tools of power
Verily
He built well
Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker’s man.
I baked a bread as best as I can.
I rolled it, and beat it, and messed up with the yeast
And put it in the oven for Baby and me.
Rain Rain go away,
COVID COVID stay away.
Little Arthur wants to play.
Ring-a-round the rosie,
The air is full of CO-vies
Achoo! Achoo!
We all fall down.
Here I go again writing another nursery rhyme about the pandemic!
(Ha-ha. I can’t seem to stop myself though.)
Really good!
I really like “CO-vies”.
Thank you Mr. Tessitore! That just came out of my head while writing. This challenge is a brain teaser and witty at the same time.
Ring around the rosie.
The air is free of CO-vie.
Batflu, Batflu,
Fauci’s a clown.
Another brilliant rule breaker! Some rules just beg to be broken.
Georgie porgie, pudding and pie,
Kept growing fatter, and didn’t know why.
Could it be pudding and pie every day
Or his penchant for a takeaway?
Here we come gathering nuts in May,
writing poems, poems in May.
Here we come composing rhymes in May,
on a warm and balmy day.
“What is the theme for our rhymes today?”
“We’ll have COVID for our theme today!”
We’ll send doctors to fetch COVID away,
fetch COVID away, fetch COVID away.
We’ll send nurses to fetch COVID away,
on a cold and frosty morning.
————————————————————————————-
Eenie, meenie, minie, moe,
Catch the tyrant by election rows.
If he wins then hear him say:
“I’ll make it great, the USA!”
Baa, baa, black sheep,
I’m in a state of mourning;
The haberdasher ‘s lost my veil,
The clothier’s are all too pale,
And the funeral’s down in Corning.
I’m at a loss and feeling frail,
My head with worries full,
So I’ve come to you with hope of sale:
Have you any wool?
Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie,
Though highly pleasing to the eye,
Had a strange diet,
That caused ladies disquiet
(For a regime of parfait
Causes oral decay);
His parents were lost
(And the gals tempest-tossed)
By a charge that he’d always deny:
That he’d kissed the girls and made them cry.
“Will you walk into my parlour?” said the COVID to a guy;
“I’m the nastiest little virus that ever you did spy.
I’ll come in your parlour then you’ll catch me (yes, you’ll do!)
And I’ll do many ghastly things, even fouler than the flu.”
“Oh no, no!” said the cautious guy, “I won’t catch you like other men,
For who goes up your winding stair can ne’er come down again.”
This is my third poem about the COVID pandemic, only this time it’s taken from Mary Howitt’s poem “The Spider and the Fly.” In the opening line I’ve replaced the word “spider” with the word “COVID” and the word “fly” with “guy” to create a comedic effect on the entire poem.
Oranges and lemons,
Says the doctor quite clement.
Stay healthy and clean,
Says the makers of vaccines.
If you want a cure, pay me money then
Says the vaccine business men.
You must wear a mask,
‘Tis not a toilsome task!
Then you’ll be safe from the CO-vie,
Says the stern CDC.
And as you happily saunter to bed,
The COVID advances her dread widespread
Cough cough sneeze sneeze some poor man is dead!
Good gravy! This is my fourth poem about the COVID pandemic and I have no idea when I’ll stop writing about it! Like the previous poem, I altered the words of the last line to make the rhyme more comic.
The lion and the unicorn
Were fighting for the crown
The lion said to the unicorn
Get out of town!
So scorned he took his wife and horn
To the land where the sun never sets,
Where they dined and whined
On their troubles and strife
But could not agree on white bread or brown
And sadly took to prattling for their sorrows to drown,
Until all were fatigued with the impudent clowns
And drummed them out of town.
(To post or not to post,
I hope you don’t drum me out of here..
I love this site and all the glorious poems)
At least you’re a poet. If they drum you out of here, you’re welcome to join me in the peanut gallery.
Apologies for my unfunny joke. Everyone is much too nice to drum anyone out. It is me feeling guilty as I keep posting and I am not a member.
But Thank you Gail for saying I’m a poet.
Long Lives King Physics
An egghead? Humpty Dumpty? Not at all–
At least not by the law of dropping dead
Since any downfall from a wall too tall
Shall crack an egg or whack an egg yolk head
When Gravity his countless gravy bits
Commands in every bowl within the skies
To shell each eggy bit in one big blitz
Until a hardboiled matter plops and fries
While yet in sync the king at once compels
His saucy bits outnumbered in the earth
Charge up against his untold gravy shells
To proudly save intact an egg white girth–
And all the horses still with all the men
Eggs Benedict put not back in the hen.
The Wheels on the Bus
are turning
we spot the things they pass
landmarks we’re observing
as the people
walk en masse
London town
is glowing
with sights and smells and sound
and the bus we’re on keeps going
as the wheels
go round and round
Ding Dong Bell.
Nations not feeing well?
Get shots of endless boosters!
You will crow and be a sick rooster.
Calling for death of those who don’t!
Their choice stolen, by Mandate, the
Power Goat!
Little Miss Muffet
Has told me to stuff it,
‘Cause Jack is a much better find:
His life is not stressful;
He’s rich and successful,
Intelligent, handsome and kind.
She’s packing her boxes.
The trunk with her socks is
Already locked up in her car.
She’s slamming the door that
Leads out to make sure that
It isn’t left somehow ajar.
Well, after I’d blubbered,
I went to the cupboard
To look for a crateful of ale
But I only found dairy
Leftovers and scary
Green broccoli, cabbage and kale.
I’m not making dinner
For just one poor sinner.
It’s dairy leftovers today.
I’m going to rough it,
Sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey.
(A break up from years ago, I should add, nothing to do with my present relationship)
Row, row, row your boat,
Thinks Charon callously.
Poor damned souls did not know
Life is but a dream.
Very nicely thought!