.
Growing Up
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Starving Children in China
If you don’t eat the food that’s on your plate
....I will, in turn, assert
That you will be excused—no need to wait—
....For you won’t get dessert.
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Crime and Punishment
Your sister says that you were rude.
Until you change your attitude
And say you’re sorry, you won’t be
Allowed to watch our new TV.
.
It’s Just Going to Get Messed
Up Again, Anyway!
How many times must it be said:
When you get up, first make your bed.
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Cleanliness Is Next to Godliness
To spit or swear, abandon hope—
Your mouth will be washed out with soap.
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Curfew
....You came home late,
Your lame excuse unfounded.
....You know your fate:
The next three weeks you’re grounded.
.
Rub-a-Dub-Dub
After your bath be sure to scrub
The dirty ring around the tub.
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Bathroom Etiquette
If you’re a boy and have to pee
Be sure the seat is up, you see.
But when you flush, don’t be a clown;
Be sure the toilet seat is down.
.
Chores
Please fix the handle on your door
And dust the molding by the floor.
Be sure to walk and brush the dog,
And change the water for the frog
Then clean the litter for the cat.
And put away your baseball bat.
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Closing Thought
Dear child, no need to tell you why,
I just want to remind you:
Whenever you go out, please try
To close the door behind you.
.
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James A. Tweedie is a retired pastor living in Long Beach, Washington. He has written and published six novels, one collection of short stories, and three collections of poetry including Mostly Sonnets, all with Dunecrest Press. His poems have been published nationally and internationally in The Lyric, Poetry Salzburg (Austria) Review, California Quarterly, Asses of Parnassus, Lighten Up Online, Better than Starbucks, Dwell Time, Light, Deronda Review, The Road Not Taken, Fevers of the Mind, Sparks of Calliope, Dancing Poetry, WestWard Quarterly, Society of Classical Poets, and The Chained Muse. He was honored with being chosen as the winner of the 2021 SCP International Poetry Competition.
James, as I’m sure most everybody does, I, too, clearly hear my mother nipping my backside in each of these cute pieces! Nice job, and thanks for the memory…
Fascinating reminders of my own childhood. I love the short couplets and quatrains that are impactful. They are done with wit and humor that I loved.
With all the ‘entertaining’ distractions around, it’s difficult to get the kids to do chores these days. It’s more like:
‘Take out the trash
and I’ll give you some cash.’
That said, my son’s at this moment cooking dinner (he’s an excellent cook), though the headphones are stuck to his head pumping out some entertainment or the other.
I’ll have to try some of your rhymes and poem-ettes on him, James, and see how far that gets me.
Thanks for the real entertainment.
Lots of fun!
Nine most enjoyable short poems that bring back happy memories of my time growing up and the parental reminders of how to behave. Thank you James.
Rules! They’ve always been a hassle. There was “man’s first disobedience”; now there’s 4/15. (See what I mean?)
On closing doors: I think the basic rule that kids, and cats, are bent on establishing is that anything but a door may occupy a doorway.
Thanks for the reminders about an important though sometimes frustrating aspect of life!
This poem reminds me of a hit song from 1958, recorded by the black doo-wop band called The Coasters. The title is “Yakety-Yak,” which is supposed to be the contemptuous reply of the young son to his father’s nagging:
Take out the papers and the trash
Or you don’t get no spendin’ cash.
If you don’t scrub that kitchen floor
You ain’t gonna rock and roll no more…
(Yakety yak! Don’t talk back!)
Just finish cleanin’ up your room —
Let’s see that dust fly with that broom.
Get all that garbage out of sight
Or you don’t go out Friday night…
(Yakety-yak! Don’t talk back!)
You just put on your coat and hat
And walk yourself to the laundromat.
And when you finish doin’ that
Bring in the dog and put out the cat…
(Yakety-yak! Don’t talk back!
Don’t you give me no dirty looks —
Your father’s hip, he knows what cooks.
Just tell your hoodlum friends outside
You ain’t got time to take a ride…
(Yakety-yak! Don’t talk back!)
There are plenty of recordings of the song on YouTube. It was wildly popular with teenagers of all races when it came out.
Heh! A great addition to the subject of my verse. I am old enough to remember the song being played on my sister’s transistor radio back in the day! I’ll take a stroll down memory lane and give it another listen. Thanks.
Boots Randolph on sax
Did we grow up in the same house?
Heh! A great addition to the subject of my verse. I am old enough to remember the song being played on my sister’s transistor radio back in the day! I’ll take a stroll down memory lane and give it another listen. Thanks.
Meant for Joseph, of course, and I’ll repost it again above. And, No, Michael, I don’t believe we shared the same parents! lol There were three of us in the house already and I’m not sure my mother could have handled a fourth!
Thank you, James, for this strong dose of Pacific pith.
As the eldest of six, I still remember drying those huge piles of dishes.