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Psalm 23: King David’s Version
When I was just a hungry sheep
__and I was lonely, lost and scared,
You somehow found me, fed me, led me,
__showed me just how much You cared.
When in the valley with its shadows
__that each prophesy my death,
Tho’ I hear every threat Death utters
__and I smell his putrid breath,
I walk in peace since You are with me,
__and I know You always were.
Your rod and staff, they bring me comfort
__causing all my doubts to blur.
Now you prepare a sumptuous feast
__and cause my cup to overflow
And when my foes ask how it happens,
__I know they will never know.
I have Your goodness and Your mercy
__always here with me as well.
It’s in Your presence, Holy Lord,
__where I would always like to dwell.
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Psalm 23: My Version
(Or the Ungrateful Wretch’s Version)
I thank You for my grass that’s green,
__But there are pastures that I’ve seen
With greener grass and worst of all,
__Compared to them, my pasture’s small.
And thank You for protecting me,
__But next time, I would like to see
A warning sign at Death’s dark vale
__So I can walk a safer trail.
You cause my cup to overflow.
__I thank You but thought You should know
A bigger cup would cut down waste.
__I’d like to have my cup replaced.
And thank You for anointing me,
__But You anointed secretly.
I’d like to have the whole world see
__That You have got big plans for me.
I thank You Lord for all you’ve done,
__For sending us Your perfect Son.
But I think if you’d really tried
__He needn’t have been crucified.
Despite Your wisdom and Your might,
__You sometimes don’t quite get things right.
So, when You’re unsure what to do,
__I offer my advice to You.
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Warren Bonham is a private equity investor who lives in Southlake, Texas
A very clever unveiling of egotistical human nature. You’ve managed to make this poem both serious and humorous.
Unfortunately, I’m probably more closely aligned with the second one
The first version is a beautiful interpretation of one of my favorite Bible chapters. The second version is a great thought-provoker with clever humor from the point of view of the ungrateful wretch. I loved them both very much.
King David had it easy since he didn’t worry much about rhyme or meter but I hope he would have approved of the up-dates.
Great stuff, Warren.
Thanks for the read.
Cynthia nailed it.
The second version is truly hilarious. I always want a bigger pasture and I love the idea of having my cup replaced. Brilliant!
I have a longer list I’ve been compiling that I hope to have the chance to present in person someday.
Very clever and very witty, Warren!
As it’s unlikely I shall ever have the opportunity to put them myself, I have a few gripes of my own you might care to add to your list.
Your graceful way of writing reaches out to me. I wonder if the work you do has something to do with your style. Thanks for these.
I’m pretty new to this genre so I’m still fooling around with different styles but I do like a little humor thrown in. I’m glad you enjoyed them.
Metrical psalms have been an attractive exercise for poets in English for centuries. You are the first I remember who adds his own amusing twist on the psalm to his own rendering of it. Good idea for a meditative pair of poems.
That sounds like a challenge. I like the concept of coming at something from multiple directions. I’ll see if I can come up with something else. Thanks for the kind words.