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Home Poetry Humor

‘Shakespeare Re-placed: Re-Verse Engineering’: Poetry by James A. Tweedie

January 12, 2024
in Humor, Poetry, Shakespeare
A A
14

.

Shakespeare Re-placed

Re-Verse Engineering

In the picture above, SCP poet James A. Tweedie has taken the image of Venus from Botticelli’s Primavera and relocated her to the upstairs bathroom in his home. She seems quite happy, there. But what if he did the same thing to snippets from Shakespeare by placing them in a new context? Take a look and judge for yourself. Then, “Post back with speed, and tell him what hath chanced.” (Julius Caesar, Act 3, Scene1)

.

Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 2

Shoelaces came untied.
Dangerously they hung
From the top to the side,
Trippingly on the tongue.

.

Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 5

The jeweler was soft-spoken,
But came straight to the point,
“Your Rolex watch is broken,
The time is out of joint.”

.

Merchant of Venice, Act 4, Scene 1

“Kind sir, please let me show you,
This steak is lean and fresh.
In place of what I owe you,
Take thou thy pound of flesh.”

.

Julius Caesar, Act 1, Scene 2

Tried but failed to start
Homer’s “Odyssey.”
But for my own part
It was Greek to me.

.

Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 3

Your corn is fresh this year;
The buyer’s choice.
Give every man thy ear
But few thy voice.

.

Macbeth, Act 5, Scene 1

We played down by the ocean;
My skin was burned from the sun.
Too late to put on lotion;
What’s done cannot be undone.

.

Julius Caesar, Act 3, Scene 2

To be successful, dreams are not enough.
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff.

.

Merchant of Venice, Act 1, Scene 1

Stop bitching, don’t let ageing make you glum.
With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.

.

Sonnet 18

My August family vacation rental
Was only seven days instead of eight.
I’m disappointed, angry and judgmental,
Summer’s lease hath all too short a date.

.

.

James A. Tweedie is a retired pastor living in Long Beach, Washington. He has written and published six novels, one collection of short stories, and three collections of poetry including Mostly Sonnets, all with Dunecrest Press. His poems have been published nationally and internationally in The Lyric, Poetry Salzburg (Austria) Review, California Quarterly, Asses of Parnassus, Lighten Up Online, Better than Starbucks, Dwell Time, Light, Deronda Review, The Road Not Taken, Fevers of the Mind, Sparks of Calliope, Dancing Poetry, WestWard Quarterly, Society of Classical Poets, and The Chained Muse. He was honored with being chosen as the winner of the 2021 SCP International Poetry Competition.

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Comments 14

  1. Roy Eugene Peterson says:
    2 years ago

    These are clever and great fun! I enjoyed them immensely.

    Reply
  2. Brian A. Yapko says:
    2 years ago

    These really are fun, James. This would make a great contest sometime.

    Reply
  3. Norma Pain says:
    2 years ago

    Short and clever and fun. I enjoyed these very much James.

    Reply
  4. Cynthia Erlandson says:
    2 years ago

    I love these! I smiled all the way through, and am still smiling. Thank you, James!

    Reply
  5. Paul Freeman says:
    2 years ago

    These days all men their ire are prone to vent,
    This is the winter of our discontent.

    Thanks for a fun read, James.

    Reply
  6. Sally Cook says:
    2 years ago

    Clever, concise, and well worth reading, James. Lets see more !

    Reply
  7. C.B. Anderson says:
    2 years ago

    The Bard is rolling in his grave
    With laughter, I will have you know,
    To see how future scops behave
    While going at him, toe to toe.

    You seem, James, to have a lot of time on your hands, and I am happy that you are making such good use of it.

    Reply
    • James A. Tweedie says:
      2 years ago

      C.B.,

      Today, I checked my hands for fun
      And found they both were empty.
      No time was found on either one,
      No idle hours to tempt me.

      Instead I found a well-used pen
      Held tight between my fingers,
      A feathered quill I write with when
      A trenchant thought malingers.

      When so inspired, annoyed, or bored
      I write down what I’m thinking.
      Sometimes I’m like the lion that roared,
      Sometimes a ship that’s sinking.

      Poor Shakespeare never did enjoy
      Retirement or pension.
      He worked until he died, poor boy,
      A life oft filled with tension.

      For me, it’s easier to cop
      A phrase or two from Willie,
      And retrofit it to full stop,
      Than create willy-nilly.

      No time is on my hands, you see,
      Just old age spots and wrinkles.
      But as for creativity,
      I eat ice cream with sprinkles.

      Reply
      • Margaret Coats says:
        2 years ago

        I like this one!

        Reply
      • Paul Freeman says:
        2 years ago

        Which flavour of ice cream is your muse?

        Reply
  8. Rohini says:
    2 years ago

    These are all so witty! Thoroughly enjoyable.

    Reply
  9. Warren Bonham says:
    2 years ago

    Much better than the Bard but the picture was also very creative. Many talents on display with these efforts.

    Reply
  10. Mia says:
    2 years ago

    Thank you for these. They are inspiring
    hope you don’t mind a very grateful reader having a go

    When God is cast aside
    Much confusion is rife,
    When anything goes,
    There is nothing either good or bad
    But thinking makes it so.

    Reply
  11. Corey Jackson says:
    2 years ago

    Such a fun and whimsical exercise, which also encourages one to reflect with more zest on the play scenes in which these “snippets from Shakespeare” originate.

    Reply

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