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Epic poet and poetry video maker Andrew Benson Brown created a bit of excitement with his invented sonnet-haiku or haiku-sonnet published earlier this month—what poet Michael Pietrack has coined as “the sonku.” It turns out that, unbeknownst to Benson Brown, this form was already invented by David Marshall over twenty years ago, as seen here; though it did not have the intricate and demanding rhyme scheme. At any rate, poet Paul A. Freeman invites you to try your hand at this 21st century form. Post your sonku in the comments section below. Note that there are different opinions as to what should happen in the final couplet. This is your chance to experiment and see what you think works.
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EXAMPLES
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The Fall of Time
by Andrew Benson Brown
Thinning coat of frost
Whitening the ground with grief—
Love forever lost
Wrinkles on the leaf
Yellowing a lawn undone—
Beauty all too brief
Spots upon the sun
Reddening a field long dry—
Ripeness on the run
Cracks along the sky
Blackened by heaven’s treasons—
Bluer days gone by
Why keep growing on? Sprinkles of reasons:
Her smiles renew the seasons
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What’s a Sonku?
by Paul A. Freeman
A sonku is a form
of seasoned sonnet-haiku—
a melting spring storm.
Four haikus will do,
a twelve-line starting quartet,
with a couplet due.
A rhyme scheme? You bet!
Though you may need to tinker,
but then you are set.
If you’re a drinker,
stay sober, or you might write
a frightful stinker.
The couplet to finish, shouldn’t be trite;
pen something profound, nostalgic or light.
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Post your sonku in the comments section below.
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Sonku for Lao Tzu (Starry Crown)
So said Lao Tzu:
If you’re depressed, you live in
the past. Also true:
If anxious, you are
stuck in the future. But then
wish upon a star—
if you can find peace,
you’re in the eternal now.
All joys are released;
lay your burdens down.
Follow this philosopher;
find the starry crown—
Let’s come on down to the river to pray;
go studying about that good old way.
Getting Fresh
Bluebells splash the ground
Flooding shady glades with sky –
Hints of Winter drowned
Skittish lambs skip high
Silky, milk-blitzed piglets squeak –
Ill winds flutter by
Birds flirt beak-to-beak
Buds are slick with licks of dew –
Violets sneak a peek
Tulip noons are blue
Jocund jonquils kiss and sway –
Gaia’s billet-doux
Sassy Spring is here to play –
Seize this fresh and frisky day!
I like this one a lot, Susan. And you have gone for the 7/7 ending as well!
Andrew, thank you. I think the 7/7 ending is easy on the ear and doesn’t detract from the flow of the previous stanzas – just a personal take. Your sonku is beautiful and inspirational. I drew on your prime example.
A Sonku Inspired by Psalm 150
All ye bless the Lord!
In His temple ye devout
Let your love be poured.
Worshippers cry out!
Of His power and wonders sing,
Let the happy shout!
Hail with trumpeting,
Let the harp and psaltery sound.
Timbrels jingling
Join the people found
Dancing, twirling with their praise.
Cymbals shake the ground!
Everyone, your hands now raise,
Sing to God with hearts ablaze!
Dear Gigi
I really love this and I hope that you see this as a compliment but I was inspired by you to do the same with my favourite psalm,
Psalm 23
Now I shall not want
For the Lord is my Shepherd
He comforts my soul
The valley of death
I do not fear, for he is near
He sustains my life
My enemies hate
He turns to blessing, He grants
Forgiveness to me
I live amongst green
Pastures and I long to live
In His house forever
Praise the Lord, for His
Mercy endures forever.
Dear Mia,
I do take it as a compliment. I loved reading your Psalm 23 Sonku.
Last year I decided to assign myself to write poems for the Psalms, just for practice. It turns that it is a spiritual exercise as well since I spend a lot of time meditating on the Psalm at hand.
Note – I did use 150 for this exercise because I have nearly completed my project. Haha. It just happens to be a favorite.
Gigi
Thank you so much Gigi both for your wonderful sonku and very kind reply. What a great spiritual exercise, and to have done this with so many psalms. It must have been difficult to choose one to post as judging by this one I think all the others must be exceptional too.
I think that psalm 23 was the first one I learned so remains a favourite but all the psalms are beautiful and I will keep on reading.
Dear Mia,
I must beg your pardon! Somehow I missed a word in my reply to you. I meant to say that I have *NOT* nearly completed my “Psalms to poems” exercise. I think this is going to take me a decade to do. 😉
Are you familiar with Psalters? Entire hymnals of Psalms to verse with meter for singing. There are several. The Scottish Psalter, The Book of Psalms for Singing, The Book of Psalms for Worship, and no doubt others that I don’t know about yet.
Of course, The Psalms are poems in the first place.
Have a great day!
Gigi
Dear Gigi,
not to worry. No apology needed. I have just had to make some corrections to the sonku below. Sometimes mistakes happen. . I don’t know any of the psalms set to music although I think I may have listened to one or two in the past on YouTube. But I do try to read a few psalms regularly.
I wish you all the best in all your endeavours ,
Mia.
HEART OF THE PENINSULA
Varied thrush scatters
The song sparrows scratching seeds.
Pine squirrel chatters.
And those eyes, red beads,
There where the spotted towhee
Crouches in the reeds.
Flickers sport showy
Breast medallions, and flash red.
Juncos flash snowy.
Red alder branches,
Where chickadees flip and swing
And the nuthatches.
By evening, all the birds have given wing,
And crooning frogs make sunken woodlands ring.
My favorite so far; but then, I’m always partial to bird poems. Nice rhymes with “showy” and “flash snowy”; “branches with “nuthatches”.
Thank you so much Cheryl for the compliments. I intentionally tried to follow what I understood to be the original traditional haiku subject of some aspect of nature.
I agree that bird poems are certainly delightful, their full common names are in themselves short poems. I’m also holding out for more poems about frogs, salamanders, snakes and lizards. 😉
here’s Varied Thrush poemlet from before I understood the 5-7-5 rule for haiku –
Razor-voiced Ixoreus
Slices the day
Like night.
– 29 May 1989, Kagan Bay, Graham Is., Haida Gwaii
Wow. Yes, their flute-like songs reverberating through the woods are haunting. Your poem has them transcending time, in a sense.
For those who don’t know what we’re talking about, a link:
https://www.bird-sounds.net/varied-thrush/
SONKU TO FREE THOUGHT
I sit on a wall,
thinking, making up my mind;
below me they call
urging me to find
substance, logic, in their views,
to join at the hip
either reds or blues,
let my liberty slip
when I should be free
to take or leave it,
to agree or disagree.
So here I shall sit.
The purpose of a wall is to divide
and from both sides a fuller picture hide.
This is very good and very well written. So the following is not a criticism , just adding to free thought..
For some reason, as soon as I read it I thought of the nursery rhyme
Humpty Dumpty which up until now I thought of as a nonsensical nursery rhyme. But your sonku has made me see it in a different light. Thanks for that.
Now I can’t understand why I did not see it before. That’s why we all love SCP.
Thank you, Mia. There is indeed a lot of wisdom in nursery rhymes.
And thank you for this challenge.
Barren Ground
Scanning vacancies
A pile of dusty letters
Tedious morning
Midday sun blazing
A hungry stomach growling
A threadbare cupboard
Dripping with syrup
Sticky hands smudge white pages
Afternoon napping
Haunting lucid dreams
Of forbidden juicy fruit
Longing for summer
Sleepily, spring slips away
Thirsty, tender shoots search for succour.
just a couple of changes, don’t suppose they will make much of a difference anyway but it is better to do and learn than not do at all.
but you might not agree, but thank you for your patience.
Barren Spring
Scanning vacancies
A pile of dusty letters
Tedious morning
Midday sun blazing
A hungry stomach growling
A threadbare cupboard
Dripping with syrup
Sticky hands smudge white pages
Afternoon napping
Haunting lucid dreams
Of forbidden juicy fruit
Longing for summer
Sleepily, spring slips away
Tender shoots search for succour.
Flooded rivers rise
Rippling surface water roils
Waiting is the sea
Trees are downed as spoils
Sediment follows below
Estuaries fed
Fish obey its flow
Birds in wait begin to feed
Life begins anew
Water steam is freed
Clouds return to wet the land
Rivers gorge and flood
And so have flowed the years of humankind
When life begins anew, as it’s designed
“Haiku!” Don’t spread germs!
So “Gesundheit,” I replied,
Taking foreign terms
For an English sneeze.
Students snicker. Think me snide.
Not intending tease.
“Sonku!” you grumble.
“Yeap.”—You’re welcome, I implied.
Another fumble.
“Sonnet-like haiku!”—
So Basho and Bill collide.—
“So you said sonku?”
A fourteen-lined haiku? Is that the fuss?
Multiculti words nonplus.
I think this is my fave so far—hilarious way of using the form to poke fun. Like the ‘Basho and Bill’ phrase especially.
ABB, thank you. It was fun, and meant in good humor. It was also harder than I thought it was going to be.
leaves fight the noon heat
a clover petal looks up
something in the grass
sounds of rain repeat
the sounds of rain yesterday
had given a pass
the dog worries meat
even the crows do not touch
what will it excrete?
dusk welcomes the sheet
lighting to be expected
the sky looking beat
darkness wakes up, as expected
a touch later than yesterday
IN MY FIELDS OF SNOW
In my fields of snow
Luminescent afterglow
When the moon is low.
Tracks made by a bunny
That look like liquid honey.
Night scenes are funny.
Big bird on the prowl.
Perhaps it is a night owl.
Not a friendly fowl.
Flying without fear,
Since the nighttime air is clear.
No sound can I hear.
Soaring by the creek
Alas I hear a loud shriek.
Talons and a beak.
Some seek sweet serenity in a snowy scene.
Others opportunities senses contravene.
Golden leaves tremble,
Turn crimson as icy gale
Whispers of freedom.
The song of the free
So soon detached from the tree
It knows it must sing.
A leaf on its own
Wrenched from its life giving hold
Flotsam and jetsam.
The song of the leaf
Drifts to the tune of the wind
Poignant and lilting,
A song well sang, it succumbs
To the hum of the rooted tree.
Smelly Dog
Mud clings to his fur,
Fragrance filled with earthy musk,
My dog wears with pride.
Yet love still endures,
Though odor follows his stride,
Forever my friend.
A Groundhog’s View
winter is still here
full of lovely snow so sheer
birds eat at feeders.
snow reflects sunlight
moon adds its glow: earth stays cold
deer eat the tree bark.
flora sleeps away
during the year’s shortest days
mammals gestate young.
tilting more the earth
shifts seasons tween north and south
snowdrops do delight.
so winter will release its hold
for spring will be a’ cumin’ in.
Of Zahori
To fondle warmly
like many another day
I call you sweetly
so light to the touch
back from the field of sweet grass,
dandelions blown. Such
as you, small, soft, smooth
then fall onto the duff couch.
Those mirrors of the
azabache stone
dark as your eyes, Zahori
yours and yours alone
Like magical black onyx,
at night the mythic Strix.
Thanks to Paul for issuing this challenge, to Evan for sponsoring, and to everyone participating and submitting their excellent pieces. It is heartening when one’s creative projects find resonance with others.
Dip down hanging last
Heavy tones left alone
An hour fell to pass
Don’t know where they are.
undertones moaned in the past.
Stars know where they are.
Rain falls, the night calls.
Splayed to the earth, undertones.
Stars lost in the vast.
Rain thousand moon blast,
heavy heartbeat lulling fast,
darkening tone blast.
Brought lulling thousand miles just ahead,
where dreams and memories are spread.
Three Weeks in Summer
Oma’s omelets left
For my mother’s waking.
Salt and pepper, deft.
Legs of a poor sort,
Shakier now. The postman
Meets us at the porch.
She’s walking softly.
Plink. Pass–before he sees. At
Opa’s plate his coffee.
“The dinner–real nice!”
Said distinct for dulling ears.
Compliments said twice.
Sunday sees me sitting. The priest telling tales–
Yes Father. I know. Love never fails.
enjoyed
Art is as strong as death
Spring arrived once more
orchids love such paradise
like Eden’s days of yore.
Snow returned just twice
interrupting as you paint
flowers free from ice.
Brush strokes were left faint,
outlines like the melted stone
of a garden saint.
Now our flesh and bone
model how you can derive
loveliness alone.
Friends you paint remain alive.
Art we see makes them revive.
[may showers]
gentle night in may
the summer showers lighten,
zinnia in sway
if the moonlight danced
like a ripple across skies
with you, i’m entranced
light drizzle, loose soil
may breaks the ground and the sky
we plant figs, we toil
few years down the line
i wish to see your fingers
fig-red in a shine
more mays, figs and summer-end
may we stay together, friend!
I’ll post four Sonku separately, each created from a previously published sonnet.
The Politely Politic Bard or How to Respond to the Demand in the Doug Savage Chicken Cartoon: “Write me a sonnet or I’ll blow your damn head off.”
I prefer to keep
a sonnet in my bonnet,
awake or asleep.
You might wonder why.
I have a ready answer,
so here’s my reply.
Should villains demand
an instant sonnet from me,
I’ll have one on hand.
My life or my verse.
Which one would I rather lose?
It could be much worse.
Yet etiquette demands its ease—
I’ll ask politely, “Please, say ‘Please.’”
The new, improved volta:
Yet etiquette demands ease—
I’ll ask politely, “Say ‘Please.’”
The second of four Sonku based on a previously published sonnet.
Understanding Ampersanding
Often in demand,
just what is the “&”?
Is it out of hand?
Used instead of “and,”
an accident poorly planned?
Should its use be banned?
It’s an “and” that’s canned,
yet some desire to command
the ampersand brand.
More readily scanned,
it’s my preference to expand,
to help understand.
And yet, its placement, like a cat,
may be stealthily where it’s @.
I noticed a typo in the last line, where “stealthily” should be “stealthy.”
However, an improved couplet would be:
And yet, when placed like a cat,
may be stealthy where it’s at.
The third of four Sonku based on previously published Sonnets.
Bardleby Sonnetry
A sonnet askew—
meter, form, and rhyme subprime?
I’d prefer not to!
Flow and rhythm scarred,
slant rhyme tread by broken feet
bring tears to a bard.
Stanza counts flaunted,
Iambic pentameter
grievously taunted.
Call it what you will,
but calling Hades Heaven
only brings a chill.
The fault is not cured by the name.
A thorn and rose are not the same.
Six hours later, I changed the volta:
These faults aren’t cured by its name.
Thorns and roses aren’t the same.
The fourth of four Sonku based on previously published Sonnets.
Verbena by Any Other Scent Would Smell as Sweet (from Guy de Maupassant’s story “A Bad Error”)
Her maid fully clothed,
though in her mistress’s gown,
serving my betrothed,
I gently crept in,
stealthily and unannounced,
conscious of my sin.
Standing near the bed
I approached with due care where
angels fear to tread.
Lifting skirts to plant
a gentle kiss—surprised by
ravings of a rant!
Instead of verbena, my betrothed’s perfume
filled the room where my fate met its doom.
Aha! An improved volta:
Not verbena, the perfume
of my betrothed sealed my doom.
I actually invented the terza rima haiku sonnet around 1978. Here’s one I wrote in 2013 (published 2015 in the Philippines, so available in the US).
“After Dashing Home Through
a Rainshower Thirty Years Ago”
—a terza rima haiku sonnet
Rainy light filtered
through those gauzy, sheer curtains.
Kath, when you entered
the bedroom, wearing
only rainwater sheen, I
fell in love again.
Such a cliché, my
bookish mind says, but it’s true.
You slipped me a shy
glance with those green-blue
eyes, slid into bed with me.
In rain-streaked light, you
closed my eyes, kissed each one. We
live there still . . . fragile memory.
https://vincegotera.blogspot.com/2013/04/day-15-napowrimo-poem-day-2013.html
By the way, the poet Tom Hunley has also been writing haiku sonnets since about 2002.
“Remembering You Laying Out
on the Eigenmann Dorm Roof”
. —terza rima haiku sonnet
Hello bikini.
I’m ashamed to say that’s all
I recall: teeny
knit, jade, halter style.
Jade green so aflame your eyes
would match. And freckle
galaxy! — that was
your body. I admired you
but couldn’t say — hush.
So slim I called you,
like it was fifth grade again,
chicken legs. But you
know, I loved your legs, so tan.
All of you sun-drenched, golden.
Oops. That one’s also published, in 2018. I’ll have to write a new one.
Sonku-When Winter Offends Spring
You are a mean one
A cold-hearted icy guy
Just go home winter
Time to hit the road
It’s another season’s show
Spring wants her abode
She’s fierce in her way
So, don’t tempt her by staying
Wise to fly away
Spring isn’t as tame
As many suppose, it’s true
But she’s not to blame
Winter offered doom
But Spring really doesn’t care
She’s burst into bloom
Do the seasons show up regularly? Of course, we know it’s true.
Every season has its position with colors of different hues.
Jennifer: interesting that you added another haiku stanza so that the lines add up to 17 lines rather than the usual 14 for a sonnet. A bit like the stretched sonnet, which has 16 lines.
White Sea
Fallen like
Symphony
Invite play
Unannounced
Frantic rain
Scattered sun
Misty stars
Falling stars
Disquiet.
Yesterday
The morning sun bright
Like a light in the dark sky
Turns the sky dark blue
And in the midday
You can feel the summer haze
Floating through the day
And when that night strikes
You are eased into the still
State where your brain plays
And in that morning
You wake and have forgotten
What you had to say
Of the trials and tribulations
That you faced yesterday