A Letter
I came to babysit your cats
_‘Round eight o’clock tonight,
But things aren’t going as they ought
_And… I’m nervous, so I thought
It might be good to write.
(In my defense, you could have said
That I should be prepared,
Then maybe I could plan ahead
Instead of being scared).
Well, I suppose it all began
_When Mustard saw a mouse,
That darted round outside to play
And Mustard blinked as if to say,
_“Please let it in the house.”
He looked at me with those big eyes
_And waved his gorgeous tail,
His charms had cast a naughty spell
And helpless under it I fell,
_Struggling to no avail.
I let the mouse come creeping in
_To please the little terror,
It gave a squeak and zipped away—
I think that I can safely say
_This was my gravest error.
For Mustard energetically
_Pursued with leaps and dashes,
While Pepper, crouched to ambush it,
Exploded from the cabinet
_And shattered all the glasses.
The books were knocked from all the shelves
_Amid the frantic war,
Straight up the blinds the rodent shot—
The kittens chased without a thought
_(That’s how the curtains tore).
Next the brushes, paints, and pens
_Were scattered everywhere,
Now patterns decorate the chairs
And pawprints sprinkle all the stairs
_And paint is in the air.
The mouse took refuge in the couch
_Which rapidly was ripped,
The stuffing floats around the house
And threads had tangled up the mouse
_So that it fell and tripped.
Like a pouncing lightning-bolt
_They finished up their quest,
For Mustard chomped and ate its head
So now the little mouse was dead
_And Pepper chewed the rest.
But now… they seem quite bloodthirsty,
_They think they can’t be beaten,
At any time they might attack
And so I beg, please hurry back,
_I’m worried I’ll be⎼⎼
Lucia Fisher graduated from Benedictine College with majors in physics and philosophy. She is a current astrophysics Ph.D. student at the University of Arkansas.
A delightful verse, Lucia. I imagine that writing light verse gives you a chance to take a deep breath from your doctoral studies.
Thank you, Margaret! It does indeed 🙂
Lucia, I love the narrative tale, and the lilting scheme you chose fits the spirit of the piece perfectly down to the very last unstated morsel. We can’t get enough humor these days. Thanks for the cheer.
Thanks! I had a lot of fun writing it, so I’m glad it was fun to read too.
Writing light verse is probably a nice balance to your doctoral studies! I enjoyed reading this .
I can’t remember when I last enjoyed humourous verse this much. When people say they laughed out loud at something, I don’t usually believe them. In this case I came extremely close to it – and I’m having a bad day! Thank you Lucia.
Glad I could help! I’m always surprised how even light verse can have an impact, and I’m grateful to hear that mine cheered you up in some small way 🙂
Lucia, this was one of the greatest humor poems I have read. Your imagery was spot-on, and I could visualize every detail in color, having had cats before. I can just imagine the destruction that ensued. I loved the names of the cats, Mustard and Pepper. What a neat trick at the end to leave the final rhyming word imaginary. I will avidly read any future poems you may gift us.
I’m glad you enjoyed it! I actually wrote this poem to a friend after I babysat her cats, Mustard and Pepper, so it’s (very loosely) based on a true story (besides the ending of course). Although once Mustard knocked his food off the pantry shelf after I left the door open a crack, scattered it across the kitchen, and was gobbling it up when I returned, so it’s really not too far off…
Great stuff, Lucia. Like a supernova, Mustard and Pepper have devastated their solar system, while the narrator seems to have dug herself a black hole.
Thanks for the entertaining read.
Thanks Paul! My wise college astronomy professor described the gas and dust of the Milky Way as “Cosmic Kitty Litter” trailed across space… the connections between astronomy and cats are numerous!