.
In a School of Transformation
I fix a mildly-optimistic smile
upon my face, which until lately bore
a tortured hue whilst in a pool of bile
and piss I lay—upon a prison floor.
I sing a lusty, patriotic song
about our leader watching from the wall;
aloofness from my comrades all along
was counter to his strength-of-oneness call.
A folk dance for the cameras of the press
to show by my own will I do conform
and learn the national language sans duress
while day by day I mentally transform.
And yet, alone at night, defiance sears
the retinas of eyes awash with tears.
.
.
Paul A. Freeman is the author of Rumours of Ophir, a crime novel which was taught in Zimbabwean high schools and has been translated into German. In addition to having two novels, a children’s book and an 18,000-word narrative poem (Robin Hood and Friar Tuck: Zombie Killers!) commercially published, Paul is the author of hundreds of published short stories, poems and articles.
This poem is haunting. Well done.
Thanks, Russel. Evan suggested I write something for the ‘Stand up to China’ competition and a documentary on the re-education camps I saw some years back had actually been haunting me.
Paul, This is a long way from “How do I love thee, let me count the ways.” You have shown here how the sonnet form can cut deep enough to draw blood from the reader. Russel used the word “haunting.” I agree. Sometimes, when we get the point, we find that we have been impaled by it.
Thanks for reading and commenting, James. We live in Orwellian times.
I agree with the others, this poem is haunting and an excellent use of the sonnet form.
Also, I’m glad people are standing up to China. It’s as if we look the other way from all the horrible things their government does to its own citizens because we like the lower prices on China’s sweatshop-made goods. (Not that Western governments have a stellar record of human rights, but that’s another issue altogether.) Anyway, well done!
The sonnet form allowed me to be concise in the telling of a story, though there’s plenty more that needs to be said about a culture being eradicated.
Paul, this is well-executed, powerful, hard-hitting work. The first person details in this sonnet have verisimilitude and convey considerable pathos. “Haunting” is exactly right. China has so much to answer for.
Your comment encourages me to delve deeper into the plight of the Uyghur people. I’m glad you found the poem had such impact.
The same is true in all totalitarian societies. The governments simply cannot endure silent acquiescence and obedience. They insist that their subjects also publicly profess heartfelt and enthusiastic loyalty in word and deed, and sing the praises of the government’s ideology and worldview. The Nazis called this sort of thing “co-ordination,” and the Soviets called it
“socialist solidarity.”
You think this isn’t starting to happen here? Think harder.
I purposefully didn’t cite the Uyghur folk, though they were the inspiration, as I said in an earlier comment, from a documentary made before their plight really hit the headlines.
As you rightly say, Joe, this sort of coercive ‘co-ordination’ of thought is happening to an extent almost everywhere.
Some free versers live by the delusion formal poetry is constrained and mechanical. Horsefeathers. This one proves otherwise. As we know.
My sonnets are usually about 100 words, Peter. I converted this one into a 100-word short story for a flash fiction website, so the message is out there, too.
Paul this is an amazing sonnet that says it all. So very sad.
Thanks, Norma. Your comment means a lot.
For additional insight, visit yesterday’s New York Post article by author Gulchehra Hoja, whose family has been persecuted.
https://nypost.com/2023/02/18/shocking-treatment-of-uyghurs-detailed-in-new-memoir/
The more the world knows about what’s going on, the better. Unfortunately, political and economic issues get in the way of doing anything concrete.
Tough and splendid, Paul. It’s no surprise that the sonnet is multi-purpose, but this one uses the form to perfection. Ideally, the English sonnet, such as you have here, has the turn at line 12 going into the couplet, but very often the 8/6 proportion takes over anyway. Not here. The turn happens as we notice how “mentally transform” reflects the title. The speaker does not deny that he is changing due to the schooling. The couplet then reveals his deep interior resistance. “Retinas” are the hidden functional parts of eyes connected to the optic nerve feeding images into the brain. The tear ducts are in front, producing visible tears for some relief alone at night. Tears are hardly defiant; defiance remains well hidden. I note that there are many “I” pronouns in the earlier part of the poem, but none in the couplet, where we have “eyes.” This is true, detailed mastery capping the powerful emotional scene created through many other effective word choices.
Thank you for the comment Margaret. It means a lot to me.
The form is perfectly executed, yet remains subordinate to the language, as well it should in this case, and the detached tone of the first person narrative evokes a dissociative effect so we really get the sense the protagonist is watching his or her own actions from a psychological distance. Great sonnet, Paul.
Thanks, Shaun. I’m usually a prose writer. It was a challenge to fit the story in such a tight confine and keep its power intact.