A Song on Biden after Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B, by Julian Woodruff

.\

.

Uncle Joe B

inspired by “The Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B,” sung
by the Andrews Sisters, lyrics by Don Raye and Hughie Prince

He was an up an’ comin’ kid from down New Castle way.
The game of blowin’ hard he knew just how to play.
In school he learned to plagiarize;
For an ambitious young boy it was a choice that was wise.
He’s in the White House now —a tragi–comedy:
He’s our blather–lather braggard, big guy Uncle Joe B.

The voters bade him bide his time for years and years,
Because his bids for president used bunk and smears,
With fibs all fed to wid’ning eyes—
A mix of murky malarkey, muck that nobody buys.
But now the country jumps when he speaks publicly,
That abominable snowman, big guy Uncle Joe B.

A clank, a clank, a clank, clinkity clank—
Now Biden’s betting jail bars beat his attackers:
“‘They’ll get big bruises and scars,’ suggest my backers.
I’ll gives those chumps their lumps—to that I’m gonna see!”
Claims that bogus bag of bull, the big guy Uncle Joe B.

“Keep ‘em locked up, both old farts and cracker jackers.
They’ll be like bugs stuck in jars until they’re crackers.”
Joe thinks he’s full of class—just the epitome.
He’s the bottom of the barrel, big guy Uncle Joe B.

A hush, a hush, a hush, shushity hush—
When Hunter’s hangin’ around, Joe plays it stealthy:
“This latest way that we’ve found to grow more wealthy
Could maybe bump our rumps to jail eventu’lly.
If we’re busted, you’ll be blamed,” says big guy Uncle Joe B.

He chats with his advisers ev’ry single night.
They know it’s necessary ‘cuz he’s not too bright.
They mop their brows and tear their hair,
Afraid of what he may say when he’s allowed on the air.
He really breaks us up when he speaks publicly.
Yes, at bungling he’s the best, is big guy Uncle Joe B.

A hooey, a hooey, a hoo
Oo oh, the country’ll dump you—just you wait and see,
And our border’s open, bidding you ‘bye, Uncle Joe B.
.

.

Sources:

Wikipedia, accessed 2/12/24: Biden was elected to the New Castle [Delaware] County Council in 1970.

op. cit., accessed 2/12/24: Dionne, E.J. (9/18/87), “Biden Admits Plagiarism in School But Says It Was Not ‘Malevolent’,” New York Times (archived 4/4/09), retrieved 2/4/22. See also op. cit. at “Presidential campaigns of 1988 and 2008” and appertaining notes.

op. cit., at “Presidential campaigns of 1988 and 2008”: “1988 campaign,” last paragraph and appertaining notes. Biden’s smear tactics are exemplified in his chairmanship of the Senate Judiciary Committee hearings on the nomination of Robert Bork for the Supreme Court in 1987. A representative complaint about Biden’s handling of his role is in The Hill, accessed 2/14/24: Neumayr, G. (9/23/20), “Joe Biden, the Father of ‘Borking’.” https://thehill.com/opinion/campaign/517743-joe-biden-the-father-of-borking/

.

.

Julian D. Woodruff, who contributes poetry frequently to the Society of Classical Poets, writes poetry and short fiction for children and adults. He recently finished 2020-2021, a poetry collection. A selection of his work can be read at Parody Poetry, Lighten Up Online, Carmina Magazine, and Reedsy.