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Autism Sonnet
The lights are much too light and sounds too loud;
And thoughts are only thought in black and white;
Try to tolerate a middling crowd
And talk so small, so pointless, so polite.
To hyper-focus is the narrow way
That leads to life, that few will ever find;
Such neurons which diverge will interplay
And yearn to speak minutiae of the mind.
But when to speak, or not to speak? Indeed,
That is the question of this give and take;
And masking’s masquerading’s guaranteed
To obfuscate the real, to say the fake.
The spectrum is potentiality
Within a quirky specificity.
winner of the 2025 Maria W. Faust Sonnet
Contest Laureate’s Choice Award.
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Poet’s Note: sensitivity to the environment, black-and white thinking (seeing the world in absolutes), disdain for small talk, focus on minutiae, and”masking” (a learned behavior to manage social situations) are characteristics of Autism Level 1 (formerly known as Asperger’s Syndrome).
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Theresa Werba (formerly known to the SCP community as Theresa Rodriguez) is author of Sonnets, a collection of sixty-five sonnets in Shakespearean, Petrarchan, and Spenserian forms. She has appeared as a guest feature on Classical Poets Live where she discusses rhythm and harmony in poetry. Werba’s background as a Classical singer informs dramatic poetry readings which Carla Christopher says “have all the passion of high theater”and may be found on Youtube @thesonnetqueen. Her website is www.theresawerba.com.
Theresa, this is my first insight into the world of autism. I applaud your sincerity and depth of feeling and knowledge about this syndrome, as well as your sensitivity communicated to us through an excellently written poem.
Thank you so much Roy for your kind comment. I have decided to be open and candid about my autism. Like many women (especially of those of us born in the 60s) autism in girls was not even on the radar– I was not even formally diagnosed until 10 years ago, when I was 53. It is sobering because it explains so much of why I have had so many social/behavioral problems throughout my life, but vindicating in that at least I can understand why things have gone the way they did. I am also very grateful that I have been able to express some of the characteristics and foibles of autism in sonnet form!!
Theresa, your poem captures sensitively and admirably in fine words of poetry the very nature of autism. I have known and looked after children with autism and your sonnet sings to me. This wonderful piece shows that a poem can often say a whole lot more in its brevity and beauty than any dry article on the subject. Congratulations on your recognition in the Maria W. Faust Sonnet Contest.
Thank you so much Susan!!! I appreciate your words very much! And congrats to you on the same award at Maria W. Faust!!! I was hoping to see you at the online reading but they said you were sick!!! Hope you are better!!
Indeed — congratulations, Theresa! I agree that this is a very impressive sonnet. The lines that jumped out the most to me were your allusions, in lines 5 and 6, to Christ’s words about the few who will find the narrow way; and, in lines 9 and 10, to Shakespeare’s “to be or not to be” question. You worked them in beautifully. Bravo!
Thank you Cynthia so very much for your kind comments– indeed, both allusions were intentional– it’s fun to play around with what is familiar and take it in a novel direction– stretching familiar to the unexpected, I like to think. So glad we can enjoy wordsmithing together here at SCP!!
Theresa, Let me join in the applause for your sensitive and cogent poetic “capture” of autism. I have friends who have more or less navigated successful lives with autism and my oldest daughter is a licensed therapist whose focus is on children and adolescents working to move forward in life with various emotive limitations imposed by ADHD, autism, childhood PTSD and the like.
It is a tricky business trying to touch all the right emotionally frustrating buttons associated with autism in the brief space and strict form of a sonnet. I am very pleased that the Faust judges recognized your accomplishment and also pleased that you chose to share it with us.
Jim, thank you for your kind comments. I like the description of the sonnet as “brief space and strict form”– that to me is what makes sonnet writing so gratifying– what sort of poetry can we make within such parameters? I love the challenge and I love the process and love the end result.
As for my autism, I wish I had had your oldest daughter as a therapist in my earlier years, it would have helped so much! But I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 53 as you know. Only in the last year have I begun to work with a behavioral support specialist, has been so helpful to me, even at the age of 63!
Thanks for your enlightening sonnet, Theresa. Being different comes with all kinds of challenges. A fortnight ago I was teaching English as a foreign language to an autistic boy. At the school’s summer talent show he pulled out some sheet music and regaled us with classical music.
Well done on your sonnet competition placing. I actually heard your recitation last week, full of feeling and emotion. Awesome.
Thank you Paul for your kind comments. The byword of the moment is of course “neurodivergent,” as opposed to “neurotypical”… although the autistic form neurodivergence may be my reality, I do not wish to wear it as a badge on my sleeve, far from it!! My diagnosis has mainly been very helpful in explaining things that were inexplicable before, and for me that has warranted some manifestation in poetic expression… but I am not using autism as my identity any more than saying I am Jewish and have green eyes… I am so glad you heard my reading last week– I was very grateful for the opportunity!!!
A very beautiful and extremely well-crafted poem, Theresa; there is much to love here. Especially, I like the virtually mimetic effect of “And masking’s masquerading’s guaranteed” where the homophonic choice of words with accompanying apostrophes seems itself to hide something (quite literally, of course, the i of is!); also, “And yearn to speak minutiae of the mind.” Yes, minutiae of the mind is exactly it, as anyone who converses with the autistic soon gets to experience. This is top level work and imaginative craftsmanship – well done.
Thank you so much James for your kinds comments! I also liked the “masking’s masquerading’s” line– it really worked so well!!! I did not know throughout my life that I was actually “masking” when talking in most public situations– in fact, my success at being a singer would be largely credited to “putting on my face” (as I used to call it, before I knew what I was doing) and thus be able to perform successfully. It is truly a masquerade– the “real” Theresa focuses intently on the “minutiae of the mind” to the exclusion of anything (and anyone) else — I am learning (at this late stage of the game) to say less– it tends to get me into less trouble!!!
Great to see you back on the site, Theresa, and congratulations on your wonderful winning poem.
Thank you Andrew, it is truly a joy to be back!!!
Your poem explicitly expresses the awkward uncertainty, living with autism. I have a friend whose child has autism; the challenges of everyday living take courage for both parent and child; but through
understanding little moments of joy become moments of great triumph!
Thank you Paulette– one operative word could definitely be “awkward”– to this day (at age 63) I have to think very hard about whether to speak, or not to speak, whether I have let the other person “get a turn”, whether I have interrupted the flow of the conversation or not, when to turn the conversation back on the other person, whether I am too loud or intense, whether I am coming off as rude or abrasive… I think your phrase “awkward uncertainty” sums up my state of mind when attempting to interact with most people most of the time!!!
Theresa, even before I saw your revelations about yourself, I thought, “This sonnet is a new dimension for her.” Success at revealing something of autism in a sonnet has indeed taken you beyond the sonnet expertise you’ve long been able to display. You have very much to depict here, in words that need to be specially well chosen–and the overall composition too is masterfully done, with a stunning couplet to conclude. Those long words, making an almost scientific statement, do just the opposite of “saying the fake”!
Thank you so much Margaret for your kind and insightful comments. Much social interaction (primarily of a superficial nature, like small talk) is difficult and repugnant to me– yet over the course of my life, I did manage to figure out “masking”, where I can get by in many social situations by employing this (what I perceive to be) very “fake” kind of persona. Females tend to be better at masking than males! But none of it comes naturally to me, it has been entirely learned.
I didn’t know much about Autism but this carefully crafted sonnet taught me a lot. No doubt it is a winner! Congratulations, Theresa and thank you for sharing this with us.
Thank you Shamik for your kind comment, I am glad my sonnet is educational!
You tread a fine line between almost clinical description and sympathetic character study, giving us a true-to-life study of the mind you portray in both technical and emotional terms. This is as enjoyable as it is profound.
Adam, thank you so much for your kind comments. I am truly glad you enjoyed it, that is the most gratifying thing in the world to me!!