Humor

. Heliotrope Phaeton, son of the god Helios, attempted to drive his father’s celestial chariot. His inexperience caused him to burn up part of the earth and the heavens, so he was killed by a thunderbolt from Zeus. The frightened gods all breathed in deep relief (Thunderer, thanks! You’ve saved...

. With How Sad Steps from a Philip Sidney sonnet With how sad steps, O Moon, you climb the skies! How silently, and with how wan a face! What see you? Humankind’s excessive pace Getting from here to there? We are not wise, Who to alarm clock daily need arise,...

. Am I, am I beautiful? Surely my face qualifies: Forehead pearly bright to rise Over sweetest lips cerise. Tell me if I’m beautiful! Cupid’s brows I have, green eyes, Rounded chin, nose small in size, Blonde curls blowing in the breeze; Am I, am I beautiful? Firmness my high...

. Brimstone I sniff a whiff of brimstone in the tone Of smooth effusions oozing from his tongue. A lick of sulfur clings like stale cologne To slickest syntax eloquently strung Like lustrous pearls to wrap around the throat That swallows every sickening cliché. The polished bleating from a cheating goat Is honed to lead the sweetest sheep astray. I hear his cloven hoof tap to the beat Of hapless hearts all fed the plumpest pledge--- That putrid fruit the...

. A Black-Listed Species The avian community is glad He’s dying out, the mad oölogist. With every species on the British list He always wanted more eggs than he had, And on his checklist those he had to add Were those his greedy eyes could not resist. So sad, this...

. Choose a famous poem and write it in limerick form, putting the title of the original poem at the top. Please fit your chosen poem into one limerick (five lines) only. See "How to Write a Limerick." Post your limerick in the comments section below. See examples: . Nothing...

. The Best and Worst of Times “It was the best of times, it was …” but how Can anyone forget those words once pearled By Dickens so very long ago; and now, Do we ourselves not live in such a world? Don’t we have the best of everything: Appliances,...

. Hunter Biden, New Millennial American Painter “It’s Generic Post Zombie Formalism Illustration”  ---Jerry Saltz “a…vaguely psychedelic vibe…Tomaselli…for dermatologist waiting rooms” —Scott Indrisek by Red Was Iceblue He used the N-word in iMessage conversations with his lawyer—Hunter Biden is an artist full of pith. In fall, a New York exhibition...

. In present, past and future, My parrot’s quite a moocher. She’ll eat whatever suits her __No matter whose it is. If what you’re eating tempts her, There’s nothing that preempts her From thinking that it’s meant for __Her own aperitif. Or if her fellow parrot Is munching on a...

. On Death and Life not by John Milton Ere Death’s foul fetters drag me to my tombAs fodder for the very maw of hell,Should not my weary, failing soul rebelAnd seek release from sin’s eternal doom? For didst not Eden’s God deign to presumeTo breathe eternal life into the shellOf...

. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlTisI_HSgw . The Head of Health and Human Services after W.S. Gilbert’s “I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General” We are the very humble head of Health and Human Services, We run a huge department rich in happy, helpful purposes. We champion the charity, so noble,...

. What’s In a Name? Useless Loop is a small town in Western Australia. Nevertire and Come By Chance are both located in the state of New South Wales, Australia. There’s a place I yearn to live in, before health and vigour give in— It’s a town quite like no...

. Ferdinand the Freestyler Angela Jackson is the Poet Laureate of Illinois and Jacqueline Jackson is a poet frequently published by Illinois Times. As I sit here chillin' and relaxin',There's some questions I need to be askin':Is the world upside down? Do I smile when I frown?Are those "poems"  by Angela Jackson?...

. My eyes espied a little bird And in his mouth… a little worm, That screamed a scream but no one heard. To mourn a worm is quite absurd, I guess his life had come to term. That little bird… he sang a song, He sang as if his heart...

. In black and white terms, I would say, __You’re all more white than olive, Take Einstein, Rothschild, Proust, Bizet--- __all Western, bourgeois, stolid. Sephardic or Mizrahi breeds, __Hasidic, Ashkenazis, Your culture’s rich though my heart bleeds, __tough luck back with the Nazis. To say you’re still at risk’s absurd,...

. Grimm   The days of steering princesses from danger With sweet salvation’s life-sustaining kiss From shining-armored knight or regal stranger Are now considered horribly remiss. Young damsels in distress with golden tresses (Rapunzels with a Rumpelstiltskin fear) Will wince at any prince whose kisser blesses Them with a peck as peril's footsteps near. The same applies to victims of the spindle, All...

. “Daddy! There’s the big yellow ‘M’!” “May I take your order ple---?” “One Big Mac, Coke and fries!” Dad  yells, “and---” “Happy Meal for me!” “Coach” Dad would bus our team for shakes (whether we lost or won) cocooned in camaraderie, Great times, those days such fun! The day...

  Raison Du Jour Reason is like tea.It’s best at four o’clock,Which is an hour before cocktailsAnd two hours before dark. . . Finding at the Door a Disheveled Man Late on a Sunday Afternoon You don’t believe that I am Christ returnedbecause, you say, so often you’ve been burnedby...

. It was only a two stone cat, Now what do you think about that? If it sat on your lap, Both your femurs would snap. It was twenty-eight pounds of pure fat. Its owners would feed it on fish, Which they placed every day in its dish. Where it...

. The CCP Position on the Origin of Covid Point to their part Of the globe, And you’re a racist Xenophobe. . . Conmander in Chief Things are quickly getting better, Many times Joe Biden’s said it. Though vaccines are this trend setter, He won’t give Trump any credit. ....

. Logic Class As class convenes I quickly indicate in clear logician's diction of my eagerness to share my disposition to determine if we're here or there, or if instead we're neither here nor there. A student with a lisp, who would have been dismissed by any academic dean or...

. A Can of Worms I saw it in the writing on the wall. I couldn’t help but read between the lines. I knew that pride would come before a fall; A bold and blatant sign of troubled times. Caught within the crosshairs and red-handed, (I’d Champagne tastes and lean,...

. False statements spurn. Let’s shut them out completely. Quash so–called free speech. Cancel all you can. Do people think deplorables sing sweetly Or weren’t all guilty since the world began? If vile, white racist attitudes prevail In any form, for any length of time, They’ll just delay the hour that we can...

. Unintended Consequence The African-American High schooler had poor grades. Folks worried for his future, Seeing little effort made. Some caring people spoke to him, And urged it would be best, If he worked hard to raise his grades For college and success. The youth replied that grades don’t count...

. A Slice from a sonnet by Eleanor Alexander For me, my friends, no graveside vigil keep, With gnashing teeth and sodden handkerchief And grievous howls of outraged disbelief That I, so virile once, am six feet deep. Console yourselves that he is but asleep, This life below a mere...

. To the Residents Down Below I am a bookish kind of rat And like each rat before me, I’ve come to the conclusion that There’s few folks that adore me. Although I feel that this is wrong, I try to be pragmatic, I’d like us just to get along...

. Her birthday cake was verily a sight--- A work of art, a sugary-sweet confection, That much to all the revelers’ delight, The baker decorated to perfection. It brought a special twinkle to her eye, To see it topped with flowers freshly-picked, But when the reddest-red she did espy, What...

. Default, to a Fault There are as many deeds I ought to do As there are jobs in urgent need of doing. My task is knowing whether to pursue Them, or, too overwhelmed, to stop pursuing. As numerous as shores that hem the sea Are duties I am constantly...

. Fallen Arches “Not one change of species into another is on record… we cannot prove that a single species has been changed.” ---Charles Darwin I heard today that Darwin’s Arch had crumbled. Its lid blew off and plunged into the sea. The dizzy heights of Charlie boy have tumbled....

. Her name was Tatyana she had eyes of steely blue, She seemed the sort of girl from whom you’d learn a thing or two. So ample in the bosom and so slender in the hips, And every man she came across would sigh and smack his lips. The sunny...

. Today I will be turning seventy, An age I’ll claim with some temerity. I’ll welcome it with both serenity And sober, grave, austere solemnity. I’d hoped to celebrate my destiny By jotting down some lines of poetry. But RhymeZone claims with full-blown certainty, “There is no word that rhymes...

. Everyone Knows Fog and smoke! Such confusion we’re subject to! So much danger to me and you From the yahoos without a clue! Now we’re woke! It’s high time that we reassess This society’s thorough mess. Toward utopia we will press! . 1. Our experts tell us, “Build back...

. The Phones with apologies to Edgar Allan Poe Phones, phones, phones, See the people with their phones, Silver, pink and paisley phones, On the subways and the buses and the sidewalks, all alone, Lost in intimate exchanges with their phones, phones, phones. Hear the murmuring of phones, In their...

. Light Side an interpretation of the apology by the DarkSide ransomware hackers Our motives are mercenary, and apolitical.Putin puts in a good word; we’re good guys!We’re taken aback that we hacked such a criticalline of supplies; it’s a nasty surprise.Now branded as anarchists, worse, analyticalterrorists plotting a nation’s demise,$5...

. in response to Mike Bryant's "CDC: New Guidance" “The Helicap’s a wondrous thing,” I heard the salesman say, I ordered one from Amazon, it came the other day. It fits just like a bathing cap; it's colorful and slick, And has these huge propeller blades that spin at quite...

. Raw Now, listen, if you want to know the truth: The world's a battleground of claw and tooth. . Spare the Details Elections, like the spawning of the salmon, Are something we would rather not examine. . Dutch Courage Though everyone will vote for whom they like, Damn few...

. Piteous Fools! The time has comeWhen all men seek to be is numb.The toils of our daily lifeDo overwhelm us all with strifeWithin ourselves; we aim to findA refuge somewhere for our mindTo have its day of rest; the meansMay vary, as do our routines,From day to day, from...

. For a Friend Fighting Cancer And so it seems before the dawn that darkness reigns and hope is gone. I understand that is the way you feel. But dawn will come, and then bright sun. One day your struggle will be done. And you will be quite different when...

. Entering college is an easy way Of making lots of friends, a herd of mares; Just drink a toast to Lenin any day, Down vodka’s revolution with your cares. Attending climate rallies might just aid Your fame among your left progressive mates, And help your faith in God almighty...

. Split a line from a nursery rhyme and use the halves to open and close a poem. Post yours in the comments section below. This challenge comes from Joe Tessitore, who offers the below two examples: . "The Farmer in the Dell" The farmer Raised a tower for his...