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Howl at the River
Howl at the river, cry me a moon;
Blow up on a drum, and beat a balloon;
Smirk like a sailor, drink like a prig’
Eat like a football, drop-kick a pig.
Jimmy crack rainbow, over the corn;
Internet pie, and easy as porn.
Taking your tongue, and cat got your lumps;
Down on the range, and home in the dumps;
Having a thief, and to catch a cow;
Making a storm, and talk up a vow;
Getting the cops and calling a raise,
Lost in the wind and gone with a daze.
Take in a lifetime, once in the view;
Skip to my kids, and kids will be Lou;
How do you neck, and crick in the do;
I love the other, and one or you.
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Howl at the River “Translation”
Cry me a river, howl at the moon;
Beat on a drum, blow up a balloon.
Drink like a sailor, smirk like a prig;
Drop kick a football, eat like a pig.
Over the rainbow, Jimmy crack corn;
Easy as pie, and internet porn.
Cat got your tongue, and taking your lumps;
Home on the range, and down in the dumps;
To catch a thief, and having a cow;
Talk up a storm, and making a vow.
Calling the cops, and getting a raise;
Gone with the wind, and lost in a daze.
Once in a lifetime, take in the view;
Kids will be kids, and skip to my Lou.
Crick in the neck, and how do you do;
One or the other, and I love you.
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Para-Phrased
WARNING: The following poem may or may not make sense to you.
The Notes that follow may or may not be helpful.
Let it be, or not to take it down
To the sea in ships with sails full blown
As they catch the wind like laundry hung
Out to dry one’s tears as first among
Equals MC2 who couldn’t take
It or leave it there for goodness sake
Don’t just stand there is a house in New
Orleans they call me next time you
Are in town and country music’s Grand
Old Opry will play Strike Up the Band-
Aids are good for you and me, you see
What I mean to say, just let it be.
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Note: The poem contains reference to the following common phrases:
1. “Let it be”
2. “(to) be or not to (be)”
3. “take it down”
4. “down to the sea in ships”
5. “full blown”
6. “catch the wind”
7. “hung out to dry”
8. “to dry one’s tears”
9. “first among equals”
10. “(E) equals MC2”
11. “couldn’t take it”
12. “Take it or leave it”
13. “leave it there”
14. “there is a house in New Orleans they call (the Rising Sun)”
15. “call me next time you are in town”
16. “town and country”
17. “country music’s Grand Old Opry”
18. “strike up the band”
19. “band-aids are good”
20. “good for you”
21. “you and me”
22. “you see what I mean”
23. “what I mean to say”
24. “just let it be.”
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Repeat Performance
My two friends, Bob and Juan, go off exploring
Whenever daily life becomes too boring.
Although they work together on each job,
Juan likes things neat and tidy, Bob’s a slob.
If Juan prefers to focus on the task
Then Bob prefers to focus on his flask.
“I keep it with me all the time,” he rants,
While patting the back pocket of his pants.
Their Twitter hash tag #Bob&Juan was trending
While on El Capitan they were ascending.
But towards the top it seems that Juan took ill,
And might have died but for Bob’s climbing skill.
For on a ledge with rope, Bob tied Juan on,
And told him, “I’ll be back,” and then was gone.
Although the top was close and quite compelling,
Bob headed down the cliff for help, rappelling.
He found the help they needed—Juan was saved.
Their followers on social media raved.
Bob did what he’d already done to Juan:
He opened up his flask and tied one on.
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“Tied one on”: a phrase meaning to become intoxicated
Para-Phrased and Repeat Performance previously published in Laughing Matters—Poetry with a Wink and a Smile, by James A. Tweedie (Dunecrest Press)
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James A. Tweedie is a retired pastor living in Long Beach, Washington. He has written and published six novels, one collection of short stories, and four collections of poetry including Sidekicks, Mostly Sonnets, and Laughing Matters, all with Dunecrest Press. His poems have been published nationally and internationally in both print and online media. He was honored with being chosen as the winner of the 2021 SCP International Poetry Competition.
Fascinating and clever word-play pastiche poems. “Bob tied Juan on” was a neat double entendre.
James, this sheer verbal wizardry, and all 3 are utterly delightful. Quirky in an appealing way, too. They suggest that yours is a mind that could float almost anywhere, and possibly leave the unsuspecting scratching their heads. One part of me says, “Dang, I should try something like that.” The wiser part says, “Forget it. It would take you a year or more to come up with something even half as good.”
Thanks, and “more like this”!
The inversions of your first poem are quite ingenious, and the second “translation” poem is a big help. Very clever word-play, James.
Yes, James, clever enough to leave words and phrases playing around my mind. Much admire your own unique humor, but what do you say to the idea of combining Allen Ginsberg’s “Howl” with “Shall We Gather at the River”? In fun, of course.