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My Meltdown Over the Meltdown
I’ve worked since the summer when I was thirteen.
Selling pink lemonade gave me plenty of green.
I want to retire, but it won’t be today.
I call my investments “my 201K.”
Those investments are melting. I’m getting depressed.
They’re melting as fast as the Witch of the West.
There is no safe harbor. I can’t find a hedge.
I’m starting to panic. I’m out on the ledge.
I’m scared of the NASDAQ, the SPY and the DOW.
My cash in the mattress? That’s where I’m at now.
In the sweet golden years that I’ve worked for and planned,
I see drinks with umbrellas, imbibed on the strand.
But unless I profoundly rebound, I’m afraid
I’ll be back in a booth selling pink lemonade.
previously published in Light
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Mark F. Stone worked as an attorney (active duty and civil service) for the United States Air Force for 33 years and is retired. He began writing poems in 2005, as a way to woo his bride-to-be into wedlock. His poems have been published by The Epoch Times, Light, Lighten Up Online, The Ohio Poetry Association, The Road Not Taken: The Journal of Formal Poetry, Ric Edelman’s The Truth About Your Future podcast, and the Seeking Alpha Alpha Picks podcast.
I left for work just as the European stock markets opened deeply in the red. It was scary.
I like the humorous style you have used and the ‘pink lemonade’ imagery linking the beginning with the ending. You’ve humanised the chaos.
I notice this piece has been previously published. Was that during another financial crisis?
Thanks for the read, Mark.
Paul, I’m glad you enjoyed the humor. I wrote the poem on March 20, so it was for this financial pullback.
This is a well-timed missive and the angst is palpable!
Roy, Thank you!
A Limerick for Mark F. Stone
Take one for the team and one more
To help in a time of trade war.
You see the subtraction
Will be satisfaction
When tyrants are knocked to the floor.
Evan, Thank you for the limerick. I think the market will come back fairly soon.
No need to be down in the dumps!
Economists all are such chumps!
Don’t gibber or scream:
Take one for the team!
(The team being, rightfully, Trump’s).
Julia, It’s nice to see you at SCP, and thank you for the limerick. Although I hate losing money, I know that the market will rebound in time, and that the structural changes are all for the greater good.
The left wants the markets to crash
So that they can accumulate cash.
They’ll shell out some pence
And in just a year hence
They’ll recoup and make a huge stash.
The weeping and wailing over the stock market fluctuations are pure left-liberal bullshit, promoted by the Democrat party and their mainstream media flunkies, solely as a way to try and discredit Trump’s tariff policy.
And left-wing billionaires like Soros know that they have a huge opportunity to buy up shares cheaply now, and make a huge profit on them when our economy starts to get hot quickly.
So don’t “melt down” over your stocks. Just hang onto them, shut off CNN and MSNBC, and relax.
Dr. Salemi, Thank you for the limerick. I agree that turning off the TV commentators and staying the course is good advice. Although I am not pleased that my stocks have gone down, I have not sold any of them, since I don’t want to be out of the market when we hit bottom and stocks start to rebound. In fact, any day that my favorite stocks decline by 5 percent or more, I buy a little bit more.
Dear Mark,
I appreciate the humor you bring to a discouraging situation, especially the way you brought it back to selling lemonade. I did not see that coming.
Gigi
Gigi, I’m glad you enjoyed the poem. Thank you for dropping by.
Mark, economic challenges are worrying, and we all worry in our own unique way. You manage to capture that feeling of angst with a smile. I like the title, I like the clever use of the word “hedge”, and I especially like that lemonade booth – you make a great point with it.
Susan, Thank you for your kind words!
You have not lost your wit, Mark – yes, I have been checking my portfolio more regularly over the last month! Very funny. I can’t help your finances at this present moment, Mark, for I have my own problems. But if you can hop aboard a boat sailing over the Atlantic and turn up at my door, I will certainly put you up for the night … if things turn really desperate!
James, We will see how the market goes… I may take you up on that! I’m pleased that you enjoyed the poem.