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On an Otter
He slinks beneath, but not for long;
surprise! he sprouts atop the pool
to stare: his leather nostrils round,
his prickled whiskers clean and cruel,
with juggled bounce above the wave,
a subtle charmer’s circus seal,
he cranes his nimble neck to spy
the inklings of his evening meal
and swerves, a treacle question-mark,
to trim the bank with frothy scar,
unwinds his greasy, gleaming back,
girds pearly fang for piscine war,
spreads mallard paw to sail astride
the slender current of the stream,
strikes spittle-pillars in his wake
and whirls the shallows wan as cream;
he greets the smelt with sharpened grin
and shepherds minnows past his throat;
he slips below to clamp a shad,
chews nonchalantly while he floats,
and somersaults without a thought,
to search his supper out anew:
his inky snout the first to sink,
his tail-tip last to splash adieu.
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Kensley Greene is a student at the University of Florida.
What a fabulous poem, Kensley.
I read it first on my phone as if it were a nonfiction, lyrical description (I need a bigger screen to get the full effect), and loved how the seal popped up into the poem, did its thing along with a lot of fantastic imagery, and popped back down onto the depths with an ‘adieu’ at the end – all in a single sentence.
On the big screen (okay, my laptop) the rhyme scheme ABCBDBEB, etc. became apparent, along with the odd eye rhyme. It worked for me, and the eight syllable lines contained just the right amount of information to carry the poem successfully along.
My favourite line out of many is: ‘and (he) swerves, a treacle question-mark,
to trim the bank with frothy scar.’
You really brought this creature to life with some memorable imagery.
Thanks for the read.
Whoops! Yeah, I got the rhyme scheme wrong – but it’s still refreshingly unusual.
Oh, and hats off as usual to Evan for a fine photo.
Now I’m waiting for the bats here to come out of hibernation (or wherever they’ve gone) so I can write about them.
Great description, word choices, and alliteration.
That’s one long sentence, that captures the otter’s endless energy.
Great piece, Kensley. I’ve seen them in action and they’re definitely poem-worthy creatures! Keep ’em coming –
I love the detailed descriptive images, alliteration, and excellent word choice. I remember watching the otters from the Fisherman’s Warf at Monterey, California where I attended Russian language classes at the Presidio. Sometimes on lunch breaks I would eat there just to watch the sea otters play.
Kensley, this poem is an absolute treat to the ear and the eye. Your mellifluous flow of words paints tangible images of an otter your superlative imagery has allowed me to see in all his leather-nostriled, prickled-whiskered wonder. A hobby of mine is wildlife watching and then writing poetry about the marvels I witness… “On an Otter” is an admirable poem I wish I had composed myself. Very well done indeed!
Mike Pietrack mentions the one long sentence — it really is amazingly good. There are only two semicolons in the whole poem, and the grammatical-syntactic structure is immaculate. The last two lines close the poem in a striking and appropriate manner.
Dear Kensley,
I felt myself rocking with the waves and I read your delightful poem.
Thank you for sharing it!
Gigi
I love the light and bouncy meter. It really helps convey the tone of the otters at play while at life. I was told of a guy in my town, who was before my time, who had a pet otter. River otter, I guess. Eastern NC salt marsh territory. Thing is, my dad told me, the thing was super strong. It’s owner — this was a rescue from the wild, no pet store thing — and the people there pretty wild, too — offered $20 to any burly old redneck who could strangle it. They’d get their hands around his neck and start to squeeze as hard and carefully as they could, then the otter would just sort of shrug and run around thinking it all play. …another $20 bucks for his owner.
Not sure what to make of all that, but thought that I would relate it.
What a nice poem! It was a sensual pleasure to read aloud. I loved the unexpected word “cruel,” (unexpected but exactly right from his prey’s point of view, which deepened the poem), the use of “shepherd” as a verb, and the final word, “adieu,” with its perfect timing to close the poem. Congratulations on a poem well done!