On Seasonal Affective Disorder: ‘October Leaves’ by Richard Lackman

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As I look out upon October leaves
And brown grass weathered by the autumn sun,
I see the shafts of light a bare branch cleaves
And so much of creation now undone.

I feel the sorrow of a world defeated
And wonder if my life reflects the same
Cycle of life’s consciousness depleted;
Like a picture that has fallen from its frame

I bare my heart to painful introspection
Regarding simple pleasures never found.
Like finding images of one’s reflection
In a fleeting pool of water ever bound.

Where now are all the promises of spring
That light and warmth and flowers would repair?
What now do winter wind and shadows bring
But dour images and dark despair?

And yet as I recall from years gone by,
That following the darkness and the cold,
If I can my own darker moods defy
Will then the flowers of spring at last unfold.

And so it goes and so my life repeats
The cycles of the seasons in my mind.
And so my memory at last deletes
The darker side of life I often find.

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Poet’s Note: This is a poem about seasonal affective disorder and the depression and despair that many experience going into winter.

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Richard Lackman is an orthopaedic cancer surgeon and poet.