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Six
Bitter were the crimson seeds,
Beautiful they were to me,
Sparkling like ruby beads,
In his palm of ivory.
Dark they were to look upon,
Rivers rushing down to mix:
Phlegethon and Acheron,
Lethe, Cocytus, and Styx.
Bitter did they roar and weep,
Yet harmonious to me,
Singing as I lay asleep,
In his arms of ivory.
Bitter were the seeds of red,
Though to me they tasted sweet.
While I lived among the dead,
Nothing else I cared to eat.
Overlooking Asphodel,
Lit by neither moon nor sun,
Rose the keep where I did dwell,
Hewn from pure obsidian.
Silent were its vaulted halls,
Silent as a catacomb.
Peace I found within those walls,
Sweet enough to call my home.
Six enchanted seeds of red,
Six seeds bound me to his side.
Six for six months in his bed,
Six months as his stolen bride.
Dark and mirthless were his eyes,
Iron blue and saturnine.
How they shed their grim disguise,
Gazing deeply into mine.
Six months in his company
Changed my heart of gold to lead,
Dark yet wise enough to be
Honored as queen of the dead.
Up above, these are my thoughts,
Lying in the orchard’s shade.
Peaches, plums, and apricots,
Gladly, all these would I trade
For six arils more of red.
Six for living all year long
With the sovereign of the dead,
In his arms, where I belong.
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Patricia Rogers Crozier has been published in The Washington Post. She holds a B.S. in Physics from Mississippi College. She resides in Gulf Breeze, Florida and works at Publix. She is the winner of the 2024 SCP International Poetry Competition.
Another beautifully rhymed & rhythmic tour de force, Patricia. After reading your first poem, I jump to your work whenever I see your name.
All the Greek mythological rivers rushing to Hades and joining while overlooking the meadow of Asphodel and then dark obsidian vaulted walls for the “keep” is an amazingly stark image of which Dante would be proud. Your poem flows majestically and ominously as only a poet adept at her craft can fashion.
Powerful and beautiful, Patricia!
The story of Persephone in the realm of the dead, retold in lucid modern English: where are those stupid people who say that ancient mythology is irrelevant as a subject for contemporary verse? Let them look at this strikingly effective poem.
The words pomegranate, Persephone, and Hades are never mentioned. We are simply given a dramatic monologue in the queen’s voice about what has happened to her, her reactions and thoughts, and with brilliant imagery to evoke the underworld: “pure obsidian,” “catacomb,” “iron blue and saturnine,” and the unexpected reversal of the alchemical process in “my heart of gold to lead.” The trochaic tetrameters are perfect, hammering home the decisive certainty of the queen’s speech.
And notice the amazing variation of the original story — here Persephone wishes for six more pomegranate seeds, if they would guarantee her remaining in the underworld for the entire year, without any required return to earth. We often hear the story from her mother Demeter’s point of view, but now we hear what the abducted girl has to say.
Excellent work! I hope to see more from you in the future.
This poem is dense with exquisite imagery and powerful emotion.
Thank you, Patricia, for this lovely and accomplished poem. I very much agree with the previous comments on its power, beauty and emotion, on your vivid imagery and instinctive command of technique. I also love your rhymes and use of repetition. Best wishes, Bruce
Persephone, this same, we see so much these days.
Explain, then, Poet Patricia, this our state of woe:
How ever, and when, did we come to inhabit Hades?
This is wonderfully done. Your truncated title “Six” doesn’t give much away, and enticed me to read. It was only about halfway through I realized this was about Persephone. It was clear, yet still required discovery.
As for style, this is a wonderfully Symbolist work, strongly reminiscent of Swinburne and to a lesser degree Dante Gabriel Rossetti. Your imagery is lush and vivid — your description of Pluto’s eyes and the obsidian catacomb are striking. You show us how a subject as oft-used as Persephone can still be fresh in the right hands.
Profound and complex artistry with myth and symbol. The tone is set by the title, with the cultural shades as well as the seasonal mystery of the number six. But while there could be much to say of numerology alone, there are as well the rivers and additional meaning contributed by each of their names. Ultimately, though, the poem’s interest lies in an unusual character favoring a certain atmosphere for her home, and manifesting attraction for a certain style of lover. Julian Woodruff asks pertinent questions; Crozier’s Persephone may be a type more suited to the contemporary classicist than to an ancient bard. And there is reasonably clear portrayal of a sophisticated couple well suited to one another, though impossible to comprehend fully. The realm of the dead and the preference for it take this story away from popular taste into an intriguing world below. Is this the attraction Hades holds for the young abducted bride who likes his wizardry? Takes on a real and somewhat perverse life of its own, Patricia!