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Soft the Morning Starlight Shines
Soft the morning starlight shines
__Above in black-hued skies,
Whose dark aspect, foreboding mien
__Bid me not arise.
I long to lay as yet a-bed
__In cozy covers all,
While stars and wind and moonlight stay
__Outside, with leaves of Fall.
But here I stand upon the edge,
__Of tracks—the whistle nigh,
To herald trains and busy days,
__And starlight fading from the sky.
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Devon Bryce currently lives on Long Island, New York, and attended the Pembroke College, Cambridge-National Academy of Writing Creative Writing course. He has since spent many years working in the legal field, in various capacities, as well as writing on the side. His book of childhood and young adulthood poems was published in 2014.
This poem really captures a moment extremely well and settles the reader down just perfectly into the conclusion. It brings the reader along with our wanderer.
Love this! Somehow brings to mind Roethke’s “Night Journey”. Do you work for a railroad (a good friend of mine is an engineer so just curious)? In all honesty, I might memorize this one 🙂
Okay, so a bit more constructive commenting. Lines I really like:
“Whose dark aspect, forbidding mien”
“the whistle nigh, to herald trains”
Line I could live without:
“Bid me not arise” (just feels indirect and clunky)
On a final note, I really connect with that second stanza – how many times have I commented to friends that I’d love to be able to hibernate – to curl up with books and comfort food and not head to the office certain winter days 🙂
I think the words “clunk” and “clunky” are marvelous but sadly underused onomatapoea. Whether the poetic phrase deserves it or not is beside the point. The word “clunky” made me smile.
I agree that the poem captures a moment in time with measured beauty as the narrative unfolds. Anyone who has risen before dawn (as a commuter or a fisherman, perhaps) and seen the sky lighten and brighten with the rising but still hidden sun will connect with this poem. I particularly like the added foot in the final line, a trick that serves to point the poem beyond itself into the coming day.. Nice work, especially as I am reading it in my own pre-dawn darkness this morning on the Pacific Northwest coast.
Reminds me of some of the classic nature poets.
Nicely done, Devon.
I love the opening line. It really sets the mood for the poem. Very nice, Devon.