.
Solid Rock
With open heart, but eyes shut tight,
led by our feelings, not by sight,
they are the rock upon which we
once built the fantasy that the
foundation that we engineered
inside our mind as thoughts appeared,
perhaps inspired but likely not,
still we approved the plan we wrought,
and dug the footings, then we poured
the concrete to which we’re now moored,
and on which we built, while still blind,
the life in which we hoped we’d find
a shelter that would keep us warm
and safe if ever hit by storm,
but we’ll all find that one small gust
of wind or drop of rain is just
enough to shake, then crack the base
that holds our fragile life in place
since none of us can fabricate
a structure that supports our weight.
But, if we’ll open up our eyes
and take a look, we’ll realize,
there’s no excuse now to not know
that if the wind decides to blow
much stronger than it just now did
we’ll quickly be completely rid
of all that we had thought we’d known,
we’ll be left standing all alone
upon the ground amidst debris
of what we’d felt with certainty
had been meticulously planned
and then constructed by our hand,
led by what we’d felt deep inside
our heart, which was a hapless guide
for every step along the way
to where we stand this very day,
inside the structure where we hide
and long for what it can’t provide
because the base that underlays
our life was built for sunny days.
So in the end, no one’s immune,
each one will stand with wreckage strewn
of what we built and then believed
would last, but we’ve all been deceived
by what our wicked hearts declared,
that left us all so unprepared
to build a structure to withstand
a storm since we built on the sand,
but those who recall what they heard
and act upon God’s holy Word,
are building on true rock that will
support our heaviness until
the end of all we’ve ever known,
when even wind’s last breath has blown,
and God returns as conqueror
to spare those whose foundations were
based solely on the truth that He,
the One who launched eternity,
who even at the very start,
had each of us upon His heart.
.
.
Warren Bonham is a private equity investor who lives in Southlake, Texas.
Thank you for this strong reassurance!
Solid rock beats sand all day long, but it sounds like you’re already well aware of that.
1. Three long verses of one sentence construction that is a relatively unique and amazing feat. I have run across such long sentences only once before in a book by Talcott Parsons.
2. I love the way you were able to provide such wonderful rhymes within the structure of these three sentences.
3. The lesson is clear and compelling like the song phrase, “On Christ the solid rock I stand; all other ground is sinking sand.”
I will definitely look into Talcott Parsons. My brain normally operates in “run-on sentence” mode. I’m glad there’s a kindred spirit out there. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
I love the emphasis on what happens when things, or lives, are “led by our feelings, not by sight” — sight being, I assume, knowledge, logic, and the like. The building imagery is carried through consistently, which took some doing for a poem of this length.
You nailed what I intended with “sight”. I’m glad you made it through the poem. The meandering structure made it a little long.
Rock solid logic, Warren, and based ultimately on Truth we might not have thought of in the first two stanzas. It is, of course, equally true that building on feelings of the human heart sets our work on an unreliable foundation. The additional truth of the last stanza (that we should build on God’s Word) both confirms our practical experience of unstable feelings, and opens up an exalted new emotional perspective. You begin the poem “with open heart” (not to be trusted without wise judgment, represented by open eyes) and in the final line surprise us with the assurance of being “upon His heart” from and for eternity. This is a wonderful, gradual revelation of the Sacred Heart of God Incarnate.
Two very small changes are needed. As Roy has said, single sentence construction for each stanza is amazing. And the sentences occupy the same (or nearly the same) number of lines! Great allusion to the Trinity. But as it stands, the middle sentence is a run-on, because a complete thought ends at “we’d known.” Easy correction, though–just make the end-of-line punctuation a semi-colon rather than a comma.
There’s also an easy correction for the “base that underlays.” As present tense, this is wrong–it should be “underlies.” It’s an instance of the very common error between the verbs “to lie” and “to lay.” You lay a foundation, but the foundation lies under the building. But past tense will work: “base that underlay.” For the couplet rhyme, change the last line of the stanza to “built for a sunny day.” The extra syllable is so small as to be inconsequential for your meter.
Some poets (and commentors) dislike grammar correction–and of course the decision to follow it or not is up to you. The lie/lay mistake is acceptable if you want an ungrammatical colloquial speaker. But though you present this poem in easygoing style, it is not otherwise sloppy. The grammar should match the perfect logic!
I always welcome correction and appreciate the thoughtful commentary (and enjoyed the opening pun about “rock solid logic”). I was very curious to see how this one would be received. It does require perseverance to follow the twists and turns. You gleaned everything I was hoping to communicate. Thanks as always for the feedback.