The ambit is the noblest cause,
A last vestige of Apollo’s love,
A pursuit freed from any flaws,
As peace aloft borne by a dove.
In all we have is finitude,
So best that we attempt
To bask in lyrical pulchritude
Of joy and gaiety sans contempt.
Our candle wick’s morosely fleeing,
But in maligned dim light we know it’s
Great Talos, the noble bastion being:
The Society of Classical Poets.
Dylan Price is currently an economist living in London. His non-economic previous publications are a mix of polemics, essays, and a recently released chapbook of Autumn themed classical poetry. His publications are currently available on Amazon.
Far be it from me to want to tangle with a Welshman, but good Jesus, man, in the second stanza your end rhymes (ABAB) are -tude/-tempt/-tude/-tempt, which strikes me as inept. And the meter is sketchy.
Thanks Clifton. Sometimes message comes before meter, as prosody is guiding rather than prescribing.
If you noticed, Dylan, my comment was more about the rhyme than the meter. But I would say that in those times when message comes before meter, then you should write that message in prose.
I did not mention the rhyming critique as your comment smacked of pretension, to wit, the rhymes chosen were intentional for their visual starkness which is an allusion to the masculinity and stern, brazen aspect of Talos. His inflexible nature when admonishing interlocuters and attacking invaders, whilst doing it out of duty and care for Crete, not hatred per se.
The meter comment, like I remarked was fair, as per your personal inclination. However, prose lacks the beauty and romance of poetry, therefore seemed the inferior instrument when commenting on the indispensable nature of this charming site. Hope this colour helps somewhat.
Dear Mr. Price, thank you for poem. The meter may not be perfect but I found the message uplifting and allusions perfect.