‘Vicente el Bisonte (Vincent the Bison)’ by Mary Gardner

.

Vicente el Bisonte (Vincent the Bison) 

Vicente el Bisonte used to live in Mexico
He said, “I do not like it here, it’s time for me to go.
For lunch they give me Bison Chow, Purina mixed with hay,
I’m penned up in the nighttime and I’m watched throughout the day.
Although the rancher thinks he meets my every little need
I do not like confinement and I do not like the feed.”

The ranch hands were behind one evening, brought the herd in late
And in their haste forgot to latch the bison-stable gate.
Vicente el Bisonte, without “bye” or “adiós”
Sneaked out and crossed the border to Estados Unidos.
The CBP was understaffed, they hadn’t enough men
To see and stop our big, bovine illegal alien.

Rogue bison do well on their own and naturally like roaming.
Vicente made his way from Arizona to Wyoming.
He crashed a docile herd, took opportunity to breed,
He grazed their land, then bellowed, ran, and started a stampede.
Amused, he looked back on the herd and gave a muffled grunt
In smug self-satisfaction, saying “That was quite a stunt.”

The owners were beside themselves! They’d shoot the rascal bull,
Except they had no permit ‘cause they didn’t have the pull.
Department of Interior finally tracked him with a drone
And shipped Vicente el Bisonte off to Yellowstone.
The owners were relieved, applauding, cheering “There he goes!”
Awaiting end of story, Folks? It’s just what you’d suppose.

Vicente’s trek built up so much his muscle and his might,
That other males who saw him acquiesced without a fight.
The lady bison greeted him with lowered head and sighs
And signaled their enthusiasm with batting of the eyes.

Now when you’re on vacation in the National Park so grand,
Look out the tour-bus window, see our hero in command.
And hear his happy progeny, of which there are aplenty,
Say, “When we’re grown, we want to be just like our dad Vicente.”

.

CBP: Customs and Border Patrol

.

.

Mary Gardner is a poet living in Florida.