• Submit Poetry
  • Support SCP
  • About Us
  • Members
  • Join
Friday, October 3, 2025
Society of Classical Poets
  • Poems
    • Beauty
    • Culture
    • Satire
    • Humor
    • Children’s
    • Art
    • Ekphrastic
    • Epic
    • Epigrams and Proverbs
    • Human Rights in China
    • Music
    • Performing Arts
    • Riddles
    • Science
    • Song Lyrics
    • The Environment
    • The Raven
    • Found Poems
    • High School Poets
    • Terrorism
    • Covid-19
  • Poetry Forms
    • Sonnet
    • Haiku
    • Limerick
    • Villanelle
    • Rondeau
    • Pantoum
    • Sestina
    • Triolet
    • Acrostic
    • Alexandroid
    • Alliterative
    • Blank Verse
    • Chant Royal
    • Clerihew
    • Rhupunt
    • Rondeau Redoublé
    • Rondel
    • Rubaiyat
    • Sapphic Verse
    • Shape Poems
    • Terza Rima
  • Great Poets
    • Geoffrey Chaucer
    • Emily Dickinson
    • Homer
    • Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
    • Dante Alighieri
    • John Keats
    • John Milton
    • Edgar Allan Poe
    • William Shakespeare
    • William Wordsworth
    • William Blake
    • Robert Frost
  • Love Poems
  • Contests
  • SCP Academy
    • Educational
    • Teaching Classical Poetry—A Guide for Educators
    • Poetry Forms
    • The SCP Journal
    • Books
No Result
View All Result
Society of Classical Poets
  • Poems
    • Beauty
    • Culture
    • Satire
    • Humor
    • Children’s
    • Art
    • Ekphrastic
    • Epic
    • Epigrams and Proverbs
    • Human Rights in China
    • Music
    • Performing Arts
    • Riddles
    • Science
    • Song Lyrics
    • The Environment
    • The Raven
    • Found Poems
    • High School Poets
    • Terrorism
    • Covid-19
  • Poetry Forms
    • Sonnet
    • Haiku
    • Limerick
    • Villanelle
    • Rondeau
    • Pantoum
    • Sestina
    • Triolet
    • Acrostic
    • Alexandroid
    • Alliterative
    • Blank Verse
    • Chant Royal
    • Clerihew
    • Rhupunt
    • Rondeau Redoublé
    • Rondel
    • Rubaiyat
    • Sapphic Verse
    • Shape Poems
    • Terza Rima
  • Great Poets
    • Geoffrey Chaucer
    • Emily Dickinson
    • Homer
    • Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
    • Dante Alighieri
    • John Keats
    • John Milton
    • Edgar Allan Poe
    • William Shakespeare
    • William Wordsworth
    • William Blake
    • Robert Frost
  • Love Poems
  • Contests
  • SCP Academy
    • Educational
    • Teaching Classical Poetry—A Guide for Educators
    • Poetry Forms
    • The SCP Journal
    • Books
No Result
View All Result
Society of Classical Poets
No Result
View All Result
Home Poetry Humor

‘No One’ by Robert Cooperman

June 21, 2016
in Humor, Poetry
A A
2

No one can hate you like a former spouse.
It sounds like a country-western song, I know,
but no one can mutter you’re such a louse

as an ex-lover who swears, “What a souse,
and if I tried to say a word, he’d go,
‘How’d you like to be a dead former spouse?’”

A boiling war zone to share the same house
when things begin to get really stink-o,
each of you muttering, “A dirty louse!”

Even if you’ve been upright as a mouse,
and never considered landing a blow,
no one can hate you like a former spouse.

Even if they find a new love, they’ll grouse,
he/she “just ran away with all my dough,
and even worse, was such a rotten louse.”

He might say, “She belongs in a whorehouse.”
And she, “Let him burn in hell-fire, below.”
No one can hate you like a former spouse,
nor mutter and curse you’re a giant louse.

 

Robert Cooperman is a poet living in Denver, Colorado.

ShareTweetPin
The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary.
Read Our Comments Policy Here
Next Post
‘Son of Europe’ by Carlos Perona Calvete

'Son of Europe' by Carlos Perona Calvete

‘Lone Cypress, Pebble Beach’ and Other Poetry by Alec Ream

'Lone Cypress, Pebble Beach' and Other Poetry by Alec Ream

‘Cribbed Agency’ and Other Poetry by Frank De Canio

'Cribbed Agency' and Other Poetry by Frank De Canio

Comments 2

  1. David Martin says:
    9 years ago

    From the Matrimonial Minefield

    He was such a sterling lad,
    Always in virtue clad,
    But his marriage, it went bad.
    She took everything he had;
    His children lost their dad.
    In due time he went mad.
    Do you find this story sad?
    He was such a happy lad.

    Reply
  2. LSC says:
    9 years ago

    I married an angel
    Sent from heaven down.
    I could not be kind enough.
    To keep my angel from a frown.

    I went mad from my despair.
    Oh cursed this human form.
    So rough, crude, and stupid too.
    My nature, I did reform.

    Then my angel smiled again.
    And I too, peaceful inside.
    When my angel flies away.
    I too will, in peace reside.

    Reply

Leave a Reply to David Martin Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. Theresa Werba on ‘Rare Books’: A Poem by Mary Jane MyersOctober 3, 2025

    Mary Jane, I love your poem so much, I could almost smell, it!! The leathery, musty smell of old-bound books,…

  2. Adam Sedia on ‘Parroting the Party Line’ and Other Poetry by Susan Jarvis BryantOctober 3, 2025

    A triolet was an interesting form for the first piece. A form for meditative love songs becomes useful for social…

  3. Adam Sedia on ‘Autumn Air’: A Poem by Jeffrey EssmannOctober 3, 2025

    This was a delightful poem, with a surprisingly punchy ending.

  4. Theresa Werba on ‘Unjust Trade’: A Double Sonnet by James A. TweedieOctober 3, 2025

    Jim, you're so right about the work "kenning"!! I asked Chat GPT about it, and it gave me the following…

  5. C.B. Anderson on ‘Unjust Trade’: A Double Sonnet by James A. TweedieOctober 3, 2025

    Now I know how the ocean was created. May I never set foot in it again. Sometimes it seems that…

Facebook Twitter Youtube

Archive

Categories

Quick Links

  • About Us
  • Submit Poetry
  • Become a Member
  • Members List
  • Support the Society
  • Advertisement Placement
  • Comments Policy
  • Terms of Use

Welcome Back!

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password?

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In
No Result
View All Result
  • Poems
    • Beauty
    • Culture
    • Satire
    • Humor
    • Children’s
    • Art
    • Ekphrastic
    • Epic
    • Epigrams and Proverbs
    • Human Rights in China
    • Music
    • Performing Arts
    • Riddles
    • Science
    • Song Lyrics
    • The Environment
    • The Raven
    • Found Poems
    • High School Poets
    • Terrorism
    • Covid-19
  • Poetry Forms
    • Sonnet
    • Haiku
    • Limerick
    • Villanelle
    • Rondeau
    • Pantoum
    • Sestina
    • Triolet
    • Acrostic
    • Alexandroid
    • Alliterative
    • Blank Verse
    • Chant Royal
    • Clerihew
    • Rhupunt
    • Rondeau Redoublé
    • Rondel
    • Rubaiyat
    • Sapphic Verse
    • Shape Poems
    • Terza Rima
  • Great Poets
    • Geoffrey Chaucer
    • Emily Dickinson
    • Homer
    • Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
    • Dante Alighieri
    • John Keats
    • John Milton
    • Edgar Allan Poe
    • William Shakespeare
    • William Wordsworth
    • William Blake
    • Robert Frost
  • Love Poems
  • Contests
  • SCP Academy
    • Educational
    • Teaching Classical Poetry—A Guide for Educators
    • Poetry Forms
    • The SCP Journal
    • Books

© 2025 SCP. WebDesign by CODEC Prime.

This website uses cookies. By continuing to use this website you are giving consent to cookies being used. Visit our Privacy and Cookie Policy.