Woman:
Why choose the red dress, dear?
Reply:
To me it’s really white,
To you it should be clear,
Mood sets a color right!
Boy:
Are you playing handball?
Reply:
No! In fact it’s football.
Since leaving our big eggs
We’re quadrupeds on two legs!
R.G. Kaimal is a write living in Bangalore, India.
Thanks for your kind remarks. No question that ABB's video rendering enhanced my poem. He made me see my poem…
Thanks for your kind remarks. My sestina was published here, back in January. https://www.classicalpoets.org/2025/01/mexican-sestina-and-other-poetry-by-geoffrey-smagacz/
IV. Two cans of beer, perhaps?
This video rendering made my otherwise humdrum poem entertaining and accessible. Thank you, Andrew Benson Brown! You could be starting…
Karen, I live in Mexico! I love Mexico! And for all the reasons you mention: faith, family, and friends...and also…
Humorous indeed, and a very welcome way to start the day!
Many thanks!
That was fun to read!!!
R.G. Hello. I have three comments. First, I like the idea of a conversational exchange between a man and a woman in a poem. It reminds me of the song “Baby It’s Cold Outside.” Second, because of the space between “dear” and “clear,” the rhyme did not resonate with me that strongly. In a conversation poem, I would have a rhyme in each segment of the conversation. Third, if you have colorful language in a conversation between a male and a female, it might make some readers more comfortable if you identify the speakers as Wife and Husband, rather than Girl and Boy, for example. Here is what I have in mind:
Wife:
Iamb, iamb, iamb, iamb, rhyme A
Iamb, iamb, iamb, iamb, rhyme A
Husband:
Iamb, iamb, iamb, iamb, rhyme B
Iamb, iamb, iamb, iamb, rhyme B
Of course, poems are not always intended to make the reader comfortable. It depends on your objective. Thank you for sharing your poems with us!
Lovely, light poetry