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Home Poetry Beauty

‘Vitamin DC: In Praise of Dark Chocolate’ by Jeff Kemper

November 3, 2021
in Beauty, Culture, Humor, Poetry
A A
29

.

When I crave from my enclave something to eat
(Not apples or peas or muffins or meat)
I steady my stare at my pantry’s archive
And spot a great lot that’ll keep me alive.

In my haste for a taste of the finest cuisine
I select my elected morsel between
Other sorts of sweets, numbering four or yet five;
For indeed, I need some DC to survive!

So I fly at my diet with quiet repose,
Tearing open the wrapping, sweet meats to expose,
Popping into my mouth a delightful brown hue
To masticate morsels and morsels to chew.

The exemplary frill of this thrill forbids haste;
I desist from my chewing to savor the taste
Of dark chocolate rocking and rolling my mood
And blocking, consoling—all cares to occlude!

My imbibing transcribes the good savor to health.
When DC descends to my gut’s commonwealth;
To the depths of my being, digested, refined.
It is good for my heart and my total mankind.

I will sing and will ring adulations galore
To the nurture that casts me on heavenly shore,
For the chocolate block of that food I decree
Is the dark one I christen “Vitamin DC.”

.

.

Jeff Kemper has been a biology teacher, biblical studies instructor, editor, and painting contractor. He lives in York County, Pennsylvania.

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Comments 29

  1. Cynthia Erlandson says:
    4 years ago

    A most enjoyable poem, Jeff! Your use of internal rhyme is skillful and quite humorous — I especially love fly at/diet/quiet, and rocking, rolling/blocking, consoling! The only thing that gave me pause was the use of “imbibing”, which refers to drinking, rather than eating. Thanks for the fun read!

    Reply
    • Wayne says:
      4 years ago

      Ever had a cup of coco to imbibe?

      Reply
      • Julian D. Woodruff says:
        4 years ago

        Or chocolate syrup, straight from the can. Drink it right down,
        as Red Skelton would say.

        Reply
      • Cynthia Erlandson says:
        4 years ago

        Okay, I get it. I’d forgotten about hot chocolate since I don’t really like it.

        Reply
    • Jeff Kemper says:
      4 years ago

      Thank you, Cynthia for your kind comments! And . . .

      Because of your pause
      I’ll cover my flaws
      With the probable cause-
      The staying of jaws:

      Just before the occurrence of “imbibing” I alleged that “I desist from my chewing to savor the taste.” That would cause the DC to melt in my mouth, after which I would “imbibe” the exquisite liquid. It’s getting the most out of each bite. Don’t all chocolate-lovers do this?

      Reply
  2. Wayne H Frazier says:
    4 years ago

    The chocoholics of the world rejoice in your poetry

    Reply
    • Jeff Kemper says:
      4 years ago

      Sadly, not all of them. For I know of many who prefer milk chocolate! Pray tell, how is that possible?
      Thanks for your praise!

      Reply
  3. Cheryl Corey says:
    4 years ago

    A yummy poem for a yummy confection. I don’t know that anyone has ever composed a poem in praise of chocolate. Dip a bit of chocolate in your tea or cocoa for extra melty warm goodness. Thanks, Jeff.

    Reply
    • Jeff Kemper says:
      4 years ago

      Thanks, Cheryl. And thanks for the suggestions. I hardly ever drink hot tea but this sounds worthy of a taste test; I can’t wait to try it!

      Reply
      • Jack DesBois says:
        4 years ago

        My favorite is peppermint tea with Green & Blacks 85% dark chocolate. Pop a rectangle into my mouth, take a sip of the steaming brew, and let the minty, bittersweet melting begin! You need to get good peppermint tea, though; most brands taste like cardboard in a bag. Allegro is a top-notch brand, worthy of G&B.

        Thank you for your delectable poem!

        Reply
  4. Julian D. Woodruff says:
    4 years ago

    Delicious, Jeff
    Cynthia has already praised your interior rhymes, which are as adroit as Susan’s.
    But:
    If you’re a parent with DC
    you’ll find you are beset
    In seconds by the wildest child
    that you have ever met.
    And when that offspring, having eaten
    same grows wilder yet,
    You’ll see that for high voltage fare
    there is no sure deterrent,
    Remembering that DC
    also stands for direct current.

    Reply
    • Jeff Kemper says:
      4 years ago

      Julian, that is a high compliment of which I hardly find myself worthy. And what a fine poetic retort! Thanx!

      Reply
  5. Peter Hartley says:
    4 years ago

    Jeff – I fully empathise with you in your insatiable craving. A highly chucklesome read.

    Reply
    • Jeff Kemper says:
      4 years ago

      Thanks much, Peter! I can’t recall having seen the word “chucklesome” before, but I like it.

      Reply
  6. David Paul Behrens says:
    4 years ago

    Dark chocolate is the only kind I will eat. I like this poem a lot, especially the rhyming.

    Reply
    • Jeff Kemper says:
      4 years ago

      Thanks, David!

      Reply
  7. Susan Jarvis Bryant says:
    4 years ago

    ‘Vitamin DC: In Praise of Dark Chocolate’ (I love the wordplay) is an absolute delight. The poem romps along with aplomb. Jeff, you’ve pulled out all the stops when it comes to rhyme, rhythm, and rapture… hats off to you! And what better subject matter – delicious. Unfortunately, I can’t taste chocolate at the moment… I am hoping my DC olfactory and taste receptors will return soon… I am missing this dark delicacy and the words of your wonderful poem have me missing it even more!

    I love Evan’s image. I remember nibbling on a Fry’s chocolate cream bar and Fry’s Turkish Delight when I was a little girl… at least, I haven’t lost my memory! Thank you for making me smile, Jeff!

    Reply
    • Margaret Coats says:
      4 years ago

      Susan, I have a recommendation from the father of a family who all recovered from covid months ago. He says that his favorite Vitamin T (that is, tequila) will do you a lot of good. It may not have much taste or smell, but the tang will shock your system into renewed functionaliTEA.

      Reply
      • Susan Jarvis Bryant says:
        4 years ago

        Margaret, I think I’ll dose myself up with Vitamin T. We’re celebrating Mike’s birthday and he seems quite keen to join me on my mission to restore my missing senses. This is the best remedy I’ve read so far… I hope it works! If it doesn’t, at least I’ll be laughing in the face of disappointment. Seriously, thank you very much for thinking of me. I’ll let you know how it goes.

        Reply
    • Jeff Kemper says:
      4 years ago

      Thanks, Susan, and I’m glad you enjoyed it. I hope your receptors get back to work soon!

      Reply
  8. Paul Freeman says:
    4 years ago

    When times are a little bit rocky
    and your internal clock goes tick-tocky,
    to cheer yourself up
    why not go and sup
    on a bar of delicious dark chockie?

    Thanks for the nostalgiadom, Jeff.

    Reply
  9. Mike Bryant says:
    4 years ago

    Jeff, I love the poem, but I gotta tell you that it borders on bigotry. Milk Chocolate matters too.

    Reply
    • Jeff Kemper says:
      4 years ago

      Aren’t we conservatives all bigots and racists? That’s what we’re constantly told, so I’ll go all out in my bigotry: Milk chocolate doesn’t cut it except in the absence of vitamin DC. Anyway I’m glad you like my tribute!

      Reply
  10. Margaret Coats says:
    4 years ago

    Jeff, a fun poem throughout, but especially so when it gets literally resonant and political and even nutritionally healing with “DC descends to my gut’s commonwealth.” “Good for my heart and my total mankind,” although I agree with Mike, and go even farther with my taste for Nigerian white chocolate.

    Reply
    • Jeff Kemper says:
      4 years ago

      Margaret, I’m a newbie to white chocolate and it has been steadily growing on me. Thanks for your kind comments.

      Reply
  11. David Watt says:
    4 years ago

    Jeff, your poem has a lot to recommend it: plenty of well executed rhymes and deserved praise for the delights of dark chocolate. For lingering taste, dark chocolate has the edge over white in my opinion.

    Reply
    • Jeff Kemper says:
      4 years ago

      Thanks, David. I agree so far, as I am new to white chocolate.

      Reply
  12. C.B. Anderson says:
    4 years ago

    Even if it did not taste as good as it tastes, we would eat it for its health benefits.

    Reply
    • Jeff Kemper says:
      4 years ago

      But fortunately, C.B., its taste is of heaven!

      Reply

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