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Home Poetry

‘Snowflakes on the Campus’: A Satire by Roy E. Peterson

August 6, 2023
in Poetry, Satire
A A
18
poem/peterson/satire

.

Snowflakes on the Campus

Snowflakes on the campus. Snowflakes in the hall.
Snowflakes were insulted. Watch the snowflakes bawl!
“Political correctness was breached by someone mean!”
See the melting snowflakes, run to see the Dean.

Snowflakes have no manners, make a lot of noise.
Want their college paid for, so they can have more toys.
Snowflakes come in colors with their own rainbow,
Many are their rules, which they say you must know.

They want to change the country, but it’s illusory,
They have no sense of government and don’t take history.
Their politics are vapid, don’t know right from wrong,
Poisoned by professors to join the mindless throng.

I’d like to take the snowflakes and roll them in a ball,
Throw them out the window and watch them as they fall.
Then find deserving students. Let them take their turn,
And teach the Constitution to those who want to learn.

.

.

LTC Roy E. Peterson, US Army Military Intelligence and Russian Foreign Area Officer (Retired) has published more than 5,000 poems in 78 of his 101 books. He has been an Army Attaché in Moscow, Commander of INF Portal Monitoring in Votkinsk, first US Foreign Commercial Officer in Vladivostok, Russia and Regional Manager in the Russian Far East for IBM. He holds a BA, Hardin-Simmons University (Political Science); MA, University of Arizona (Political Science); MA, University of Southern California (Int. Relations) and MBA University of Phoenix. He taught at the University of Arizona, Western New Mexico University, University of Maryland, Travel University and the University of Phoenix.

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Comments 18

  1. Russel Winick says:
    2 years ago

    Thanks for the apt read, Roy. I hope such students can still be found.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      2 years ago

      I hope so, also! Thank you, Russel.

      Reply
  2. Phil S. Rogers says:
    2 years ago

    Sir; Your poem hits the nail directly on its head. So true. Thank you for a great poem to make me smile and start the day.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      2 years ago

      Thank you, Phil!

      Reply
  3. Joseph S. Salemi says:
    2 years ago

    This is a perfectly apt description of a certain breed of student on today’s campuses. The good news is that they are still a minority, and many other students are goddamned sick of them.

    The verses have a very strong caesura, which is fine, but it does cause a slight problem in the third quatrain where the pronunciations of “illusory” and “history” get pushed a bit out of shape.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      2 years ago

      I am sure the majority of students are still committed to learning real facts. I knew when I wrote it of the slight dissonance between Illusory and history, but I felt the points needed to be made anyway. Thank you, Joseph.

      Reply
  4. Brian A Yapko says:
    2 years ago

    Thank you for this, Roy. I don’t even think most “snowflakes” sincerely care about the “offenses” they complain of. They seem to suffer from a self-important “hall-monitor syndrome” where, in their arrogant smugness, they take it upon themselves to scan, monitor and then pass judgment on every potentially hurtful thing that happens in their orbit because — sigh — somebody has to do it. When benign, they are the annoyingly nosy Gladys Kravitz from “Bewitched”. When malignant, they are fifth column informants for the gestapo or the KGB. These days most likely the latter. And for the life of them they can’t mind their own business.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      2 years ago

      Great thoughts, Brian. I love your comparison to hall-monitors and their passing judgment on everyone else. Their ilk now relies on calling opposition to them as hate speech. Excellent comments and insight!

      Reply
  5. Susan Jarvis Bryant says:
    2 years ago

    Yes thank you, Roy, for highlighting poetically with heartbreaking accuracy exactly where we’re at with too many of our students today. This serves to prove that the propaganda is working… many of our children and grandchildren have been stolen by the state to embody and push an agenda that will have them kowtowing to a corrupt global power that pushes lies, chaos, and destruction. Never before have the words: “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do” meant so much to me. The lies told to our children lead to self-loathing, chemical castration, mutilation, racism, hatred, and death. The truth matters.

    Reply
  6. Roy Eugene Peterson says:
    2 years ago

    Your trenchant comments penetrate to the heart of the matter and what I intended the poem to penetrate. We have so much reform to perform in our educational institutions with a return to discipline and historical disclosure. Teachers have their hands full not only with presenting truth in their lectures and ensuring the textbooks are correct and unbiased, but in dealing with those students who have been brainwashed in the process. Thank you for your great points and perceptions.

    Reply
  7. Stephen Dickey says:
    2 years ago

    Roy, this is a solid bit of literary realism!

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      2 years ago

      Thank you, Stephen!

      Reply
  8. Yael says:
    2 years ago

    And the moral of the story:
    If life hands you snowflakes, make snow-men.
    Which reminds me of a news story from Kentucky from a few years ago
    https://globalnews.ca/news/4858748/snowman-truck-tree-stump/
    I like your poem and I’m glad you labeled it as satire, which may save a mile of confusion in the comments section, as it is more difficult to get righteously outraged at satire as opposed to regular poetry, when images and ideas of projectiles are involved.

    Reply
  9. Roy Eugene Peterson says:
    2 years ago

    Excellent points, Yael! I appreciate your thoughts.

    Reply
  10. Margaret Coats says:
    2 years ago

    Roy, this is a refreshing poem; thanks for writing it! I strongly second Joseph Salemi’s observation that snowflakes are a minority and that many other students are sick of their activities. One serious problem is that agitators may not be students at all, but professionals who come in from outside.
    The college town where I live has left-leaning students, but real trouble arises when older persons with bullhorns show up from a big state university. After all, weak snowflakes need motivation! It’s not always professors, although it can be.

    For the good news, exactly 25 years ago, some students at Benedictine College (where my son went) decided to work in opposition. Every year new graduates sign up with FOCUS (Fellowship of Catholic University Students) for two years of service someplace else. They raise money for their own support, and usually register for a single graduate course at a state university, but spend most of their time effecting and encouraging good views and values among the many students they go out of their way to meet. They are currently on campuses in most of the 50 states.

    Reply
  11. James Sale says:
    2 years ago

    Hi Roy – so right! The last line is particularly strong: ‘And teach the Constitution to those who want to learn.’ Since the American constitution is one of the great achievements of American society/culture, it truly is vital that all citizens understand it! Thanks.

    Reply
  12. Gregory Ross says:
    2 years ago

    A great poem describing today’s generation. I’d like to add that just as snow turns into ice when compacted into a ball, so do the hearts of these many snowflakes when they gather into clusters to protest a person who thinks differently from them.

    Reply
  13. David Whippman says:
    2 years ago

    Thanks for this all too accurate verse! Not that it will be any consolation, but British universities are similarly snowbound!

    Reply

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