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Home Poetry Culture

‘Alive, Alive-o’: A Poem by Jeff Eardley

May 5, 2025
in Culture, Humor, Poetry
A A
9

 

Alive, Alive-o

In Dublin’s fair city,
Where the girls are so pretty,
There lived an old woman,
Who was well known to me;
Where she sighed with amazement,
At her new knee replacement,
Singing, “Cartilege and Muscles,
For me are all go.
For me are all go,
For me are all go,”
Singing, “Cartilege and Muscles,
For me are all go.”

For she’d got a bit weighty,
When she got past eighty,
Her legs couldn’t carry her,
Down the cold stair.
But her friendly consultant,
Sang out with exultancy,
”Cartilege and Muscles,
For you are all go.
For you are all go,
For you are all go,”
Singing, “Cartilege and Muscles,
For you are all go.”

At her home in the valley,
She’s back doing ballet.
She spins and she pirouettes,
Just like before.
Now earning good wages,
On the best Dublin stages,
Singing, “Cartilege and Muscles,
For me are all go.
For me are all go,
For me are all go.”
Singing, “Cartilege and Muscles,
For me are all go.”

.

.

Jeff Eardley lives in the heart of England near to the Peak District National Park and is a local musician playing guitar, mandolin and piano steeped in the music of America, including the likes of Ry Cooder, Paul Simon, and particularly Hank Williams.

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Comments 9

  1. Roy Eugene Peterson says:
    6 months ago

    Jeff, I sent you a separate note. As I recall, the original ditty was about Molly Malone who was a fishmonger “Crying cockles and mussels,” which has become the unofficial anthem of Dublin. “Cartilege and muscles” is an imaginative play on words.

    Reply
    • Jeff Eardley says:
      6 months ago

      Thanks Roy, next time I am in Dublin, I will give your regards to the “Tart with the Cart.”

      Reply
  2. Daniel Howard says:
    6 months ago

    Quite the earworm, especially the first verse.

    Reply
    • Jeff Eardley says:
      6 months ago

      Daniel, thanks for taking the time to comment. Hope the earworm doesn’t burrow too deep.

      Reply
  3. Edward Hayes says:
    6 months ago

    Hey Jeff
    “Exultancy” doesn’t rhyme with “consultant”. “Consultant” does. Did the typist mess it up? Try again.

    Reply
    • Jeff Eardley says:
      6 months ago

      As you say, “Consultant” rhymes with “Consultant” Perhaps it’s time to fire your typist too, then we could both be “Exultant!!!”
      Thanks for the giggle this morning. Best wishes to you.

      Reply
    • Joseph S. Salemi says:
      6 months ago

      The problem would be solved if “Sang out with exultancy” were changed to “Sang out, quite exultant.”

      Reply
      • Jeff Eardley says:
        6 months ago

        Point taken Joseph. Thanks for the comment.

        Reply
  4. Margaret Coats says:
    6 months ago

    Jeff, you deserve credit first of all for seeing the potential in “Cockles and Mussels.” But that doesn’t necessarily lead to a creative contemporary version, much less one that becomes a fitting fantasy. You take knee replacement with a running leap!

    Reply

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