The Papal Prayer for Our Planet
—October 1, 2025
Let solar panels gleam in leas.
_Let turbines whir and spin.
Subdue the rise of roiling seas.
_Make exhaled breath a sin.
Bring Gaia slayers to their knees
_Each time they taint the air.
Lord, bless defrosting blocks of ice
_And pat a polar bear.
Position peril posed to toads
_Above all human needs.
Urge eco-geeks to shut down roads.
_Let meat-freaks suck on seeds.
Bedim the light in bright abodes.
_Make heat and air-con rare.
Lord, bless distressed and sweaty ice
_And hug a polar bear.
Ban crusty loaves of daily bread
_Baked brown by fossil fuel—
Let hungry mobs eat grubs instead.
_Swap motors for a mule.
Stop spreading peace, go peddle dread
_To wake the unaware.
Lord, bless the damned and dying ice
_And kiss a polar bear.
Amen. / A-them. / A-they.
Susan Jarvis Bryant is a poet originally from the U.K., now living on the Gulf Coast of Texas.
I love this Susan. Every word! Make exhaled breath a sin, indeed!
The Pope blessed a 20,000 year old piece of ice from Greenland. He said we must all help in the battle against Climate Change. The Canadians have already started Climate Lockdowns.
https://www.armstrongeconomics.com/international-news/canada/climate-lockdowns-in-canada/
Fight Climate Change! Embrace Agenda 30!
Get ready for Climate Change. If you are Godly you will shut up, lock down and trust the billionaires. Do they have the Climate Vax ready to go?
You never fail to amaze me with your speed-poetry, Susan! I can’t imagine how you come up with these up to the minute news reports in rhyme and meter — almost before we’ve heard about the latest crazy happenings. You could have a daily paper called something like The Satiric Times. Thanks for the humorous relief!
Susan, my hat is (and all hats should be) off to you! What a sharp, satiric piece — by writing these sarcastic words for Prevost’s mouth, you totally explode the pretentious buffoonery of a stage-managed stunt. Blessing a chunk of ice… what’s next? Excommunicating all V-8 engines?
I knew that the election of an American prelate was a big mistake.
Hilarious poem, Susan! The spirit of Jonathan Swift lives in these lines– which unite Swift’s bitingly satirical wit with the sheer joy in playing with words that one finds in poets like Ogden Nash or Edward Lear. I love your use of neologisms like “Gaia slayers” and the laugh out loud eccentricity of some of your word pictures, such “meat-freaks” being forced to “suck on seeds”, “distressed and sweaty ice” being properly blessed as polar bears receive divine consolation through being patted, hugged and kissed. And you have concluded the whole with an “Amen” that is as senstive to gender diversity as any on the “woke” left could desire.
I’ve actually been praying that Rome would work towards reintegrating the Amish into full Communion with the Church, so I really like your idea of swapping “motors for mules.” I don’t believe in human-induced climate change, but sometimes I do think we would all be happier if the entire power-grid instantaneously went down.
Ahem!
Your pen—
A ten.
This is how I prefer to get my news about world events, thank you Susan, you’ve done it again. Between your poetry, the Babylon Bee, and We Lie to You News, I feel like I can keep up with the latest developments and identify as well informed.