The Ministry of Twee
The Ministry’s role is to banish the soul
_In poems the poets send in—
To snuff out the spark at the core of the stark,
Extinguish the sear of a kiss in the dark,
To vaporize tears in the lilt of the lark
_And toss all but froth in the bin.
The Ministry might let a tiger burn bright
_If red tooth and claw are removed—
When tigers sip tea while the pussycat prowls,
When tigers sail seas to elope with the owls,
When mewling and purring has smothered the growls,
_Then tigers may well be approved.
The Ministry’s aim is to tether and tame
_Till metaphors soar nevermore—
To magnify mild till the flocks are beguiled
By fluff fit to tickle the ear of a child,
Till thorns in a nightingale’s breast are reviled
_And ravens’ bones litter the floor.
The Ministry’s will is to kill every thrill
_In reams rife with rapture and ire—
Those lines (far from gentle) that rage against night,
Then stop all the clocks as the pages delight
The gutter-low gaze with the star-blazing sight
_Of wicked words written in fire.
The Ministry’s goal is to bury the soul
_Of magic that captures the heart.
But wonder has ways of defying the grave
To wander and whisper and beckon the brave—
Those mutinous Muses who ride the wild wave
_To dazzle once more with their art.
Susan Jarvis Bryant is a poet originally from the U.K., now living on the Gulf Coast of Texas.
Thank you, Susan, for this poetic tour de force! Amazing rhymes and witty literary references (I know those better-read will identify more than I did!) and a lot of humorously expressed truth. Best wishes, Bruce
Bruce, thank you very much for your appreciative comment. I’m so glad you enjoyed my humor – I always try to find humor in truth. It helps me to smile through the insanity of this strange new world.
Bravo, Susan. A penetrating expose of the Ministry and its wretched workforce. And thanks for the fun of spotting the poetical allusions.
Martin, it’s always great to hear from you! The Ministry and its wretched workforce have plenty to answer for, and they’re flaunting their manipulations in plain sight. My Muse simply had to shout out about it. I’m thrilled you enjoyed the result. Thank you!
IMO, this is actually a tribute to none other than yourself, you little ‘mutinous Muse’, you , as inarguably the bestest socially-sataristical poet breathing! Both concisely on-target and alliterasionally-packed, “The Ministry” is definitely a deserving target to opine. You mastered the ‘Art’ of ‘Verse’ long ago, my dear, and I’m always delighted to read your work. Another impressive A+. 🙂
Mark, thank you very much for such high praise and for your nod to that mutinous Muse who never fails to address life’s trials and tribulations with a poem and a smile – it’s a blessing she never suffers for her art.
Susan, this is a breathtaking poem which propels forward with locomotive force, driven by a form which utilizes what could have been a “twee” sing-song pattern. All the alliteration and internal rhyme is fabulous, of course, and weaponized in that inimitable Susan Bryant style. What is partcularly unexpected, however, is the rhyme scheme, which goes a-b-c-c-c-b. You never rhyme the opening line of each stanza each of which starts with a pronouncement concerning the agenda of the Ministry, and you do repeat “soul.” The net effect of this is to state a thesis (the unrhymed pronouncement) and to then elaborate on that thesis with the deconstructed and demolished poems that we have come to love (Blake, Poe, et al.) It’s wonderful from a rhetoric standpoint and it’s wonderful from a poetry standpoint — especially the fun (and agony) of seeing how poetry fares when all the blood and passion and controversial material are bled out of the work.
The Ministry of Twee of course makes me think of the absurd lengths to which freedom of speech has been destroyed in the UK (thank heaven Starmer has resigned!) But it also relates brilliantly to all aspects of censorship, both the diminution of free speech and the imposition of squeamish literary figures who have a worrisome instinct to ban anything that makes them uncomfortable.
Your idea of santizing various literary subjects, characters, events is incredible. I wish I’d thought of it! But the possibilities are endless. Macbeth and Lady negotiate a power transfer and shun the murders. Ophelia lives after applying essential oils. The Ancient Mariner never kills the albatross and, instead, donates to Greenpeace. Ahab and Moby Dick kiss and make up. Yes, the possibilities are endless. See what you’ve started? Brava!
Actually, Brian, the “a” lines that begin each stanza contain an internal rhyme. Well done, Susan. And a curse on anyone who would dare attempt to “kill every thrill”!!
James, what a great catch… I had such fun with the internal rhymes on the first line of each stanza, I am glad they didn’t pass you by. Where poetry is concerned, I believe attempting to “kill every thrill” is a criminal act, which is why I intend to strut my tweeless stuff and fend off the iron-fists of the twee fiends forevermore. James, thank you!
Brian, what a wonderful comment! A big THANK YOU! for paying particular detail to the “sing-song” pattern. I wanted the appearance of twee with a dangerously sharp edge – a mock-with-moxie feel. The jaunty, nursery-rhyme flow is the liberal sprinkling of sugar to make the message palatable. When blood, passion, and controversy are drained from words in keeping with a controlling, myopic agenda, then anything truthful and meaningful are dead.
You make a great point about the UK. I have watched my beloved homeland sink into the mustn’t-offend-the-minorities mire, until the majority are paying a savage and heartbreaking price for embracing this evil inequality (oh, the irony) or remaining silent. I refuse to do so. Freedom to choose your subject matter on a poetry site is where it all starts. This is why I joined the SCP – it stands for all I hold dear and long may it do so.
I just love your sanitized list of literary figures, especially Ophelia and those essential oils and the still gliding albatross with the Ancient Mariner donating to Greenpeace. Utterly hilarious, and so inspiring. Watch this space!
Brian, as ever I am most grateful for your fine eye and your imagination – a formidable combination!
We are “dazzled” once more with the art of the Muse who pillories those she may choose.
The “Ministry of Twee,” I am sure you agree, is one that we hope we can lose.
The freedom of speech is what vain owls will screech while the public they seek to abuse.
Madam Susan once more has shone light through the door of those whom we must accuse..
Roy, I just love this, especially your “vain owl” observation – poetry needs less of those vain owls and more of those mutinous muses. Thank you for your perspicacious and creative response – huge fun!
Susan, once again you hit us with a smashing series of left hooks and roundhouse rights. What a pummeling the
“Ministry of Twee” gets! And you use the correct term — the word “ministry” has had blood-chilling overtones in English ever since Orwell’s “1984.”
A Ministry of Twee is a perfect literary concoction — what C.G. Jung would have called a “conjunctio oppositorum,” because it unites two absolutely terrifying tendencies in contemporary social life. They are the very real authoritarian proclivities of left-liberalism when it comes into power, and the mild-mannered, Smiley-Face blandness of left-liberalism’s rhetoric and emotional public appeals. It’s exactly what exists in the U.K. today, and which is threatening the rest of us: the pious cliches of social-service therapists and Labourite clergy, backed up by police truncheons of the Deep State.
You’ve made the whole scenario fit the world of poetry. And goddammit, it’s absolutely true! You can submit poems that are tough, aggressive, contrarian, sexy, contemptuous, bitingly comic, and harshly satirical, and the vast majority of editors simply will not publish them. It’s as if the entire literary world were governed by the Parish Ladies Aid Society, or the PTA, who only want hearts-and-flowers niceties and pious effusions.
This poem has made my day. Thank you, Susan!
Joe, as ever your comment has made me smile and given me a lot to think about. I’m glad you picked up on my nod to Orwell – if Big Brother had been stopped in his tracks at poetry-submission level, the world would be a freer and better place today.
I have great admiration for Jung and you have fired my curiosity with the “conjunctio oppositorum” finds. The older I grow the more I respect him. Jung’s absorbing work sheds much-needed light on the whys and hows of this wicked world. Your words on the state of my homeland today are so true and so vividly and heartbreakingly chilling.
And I just love your closing paragraph because you speak the truth unflinchingly, and the truth is what’s needed in a world full of lies. I have taken the liberty of copying a recent comment of yours because it is so relevant to this conversation thread. Your words (copied and pasted below) speak loudly, clearly, and honestly, and all who take poetry seriously will benefit from reading it:
Joe, thank you very much for your insight and your integrity.
Joe, your short essay is exactly right. It’s really about integrity… being true to yourself, but mostly being true to the art of poetry.
Are we self-driven or are we driven? Are we striving to become better poets or better puppets?
When we let The Ministry of Twee become our internal voice, our voice isn’t heard. They are pulling our strings.
Another amazing poetic creation Susan. I echo everything said above and will read this one over and over again.
Norma, it’s always an absolute pleasure to hear from you, and I am thrilled you enjoyed the poem. Thank you very much for your appreciation and for your encouragement! It means a lot.
Are you kidding me, Susan? What will the candytuft slouches do now? Your hide will be nailed to the side of the barn, and your name will be expunged from the record. Ultimately, that’s much better than becoming an advocate for tweedom.
C.B., I am laughing… nervously. I am sure there are many candytuft slouches keen to nail my heretical hide to the side of a barn and blast me into oblivion. So be it! Tweedom must be avoided at all costs! I am thrilled at this response from a titan of a poet who is as far from twee as a poet could possibly be. I hope your twee-less hide escapes the clutches of the twee-fiends.
A Titan? Maybe, but not Prometheus, I hope.
I didn’t have Prometheus in mind, but as you’ve mentioned him, I’ve just consulted the Ministry’s Fire and Furies Safety Guide – there is no objection to introducing fire to poetry as long as it’s flameless, smokeless, and never singes the wings of an eagle.
Those mutinous Muses who ride the wild wave
_To dazzle once more with their art….
That’s the spirit, Susan! The Greek Mutinous Muses – heck, I felt for a moment that the Valkyries were about to ride too! Dazzling – great stuff.
James, I am over the moon you enjoyed my poem! Thank you!
I’ve enjoyed listening and commenting on this as you wrote it, Susan. First, no one can miss the joy and beauty of your poetry. The comments make that clear.
Second, this poem isn’t about any oppressive ministry at all. It is about self-censorship. It is about anyone who writes for the pleasure of their masters, instead of listening to that inner voice of conscience.
It is plainly and simply about being yourself. That is what the “muse” really is. When art is guided by committees, friends, the general zeitgeist or anyone or anything other than the consciousness of the poet, it isn’t art anymore.
Poets of the world… DON’T UNITE !!!
Instead, be yourself and tell that nasty whisperer to leave you alone!
Beautiful, just beautiful.
Amen to that, Mike. When you join any kind of assembly or club or organization or society, the natural human tendency to conformism and groupthink kicks in. All of a sudden you are anxious to please others (if you are submissive), or else desirous to impose control on others (if you are the dominant type).
Thank you, biggest fan! I agree with every wise and wonderful word of your comment and encourage every poet out there to write fearlessly. For me, there is no other way, and I am grateful to Evan Mantyk for publishing my poems (including many controversial pieces that no other site would accept) for seven years. May the SCP continue in the same vein.
Mike, I couldn’t agree more. I would add only that art which is not only true to oneself but also manages to appeal, as Susan’s does, to other selves, must be a superior kind of art.
Great point, Martin. I guess Susan’s muse is a people person. Thanks.
Joe, I wouldn’t join any group that would have me as a member!
I absolutely loved this one! It is a technical masterpiece, with its internal rhyme and mellifluous use of anapests. But you also give a message well-suited to our age of inoffensive, milquetoast “art” designed to please committees. You aptly characterize this faceless menace as a “ministry” – authoritarian yet impersonal. Wonderful!
Adam, thank you for this wonderful comment! I thoroughly appreciate your nod to the technical stuff, and that the message comes through loudly and clearly. I have grown so tired of “inoffensive and milquetoast “art”” I can’t keep my quill still. My poetic line has been drawn!