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Black and Red
Within a latent, pathless peak,
A mountain’s womb begins to leak
The flicker of a fervent hue,
When primal mantles stir a brew.
This billow turns into a cloud
That sprinkles as a stony shroud,
While foam and fume pervade a thrust
And stoke the trails of a cradled crust.
From black and red come ash and flame
That time can neither calm nor tame
Which elevate a graceful guise
Till light and dark contest the skies.
Where ancient scapes and woodland limbs
Succumb to the breach of sylvan rims,
A lasting swath of lava might
Consumes the still to seize the night.
The dawn bestows a hopeful path
Of new beginnings born from wrath,
With all that was, a thing of lore,
While dormant lies the base once more.
Previously published by Westmoreland Arts & Heritage Festival 2021
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Daniel Moreschi is a poet from Neath, South Wales, UK. After life was turned upside down by his ongoing battle with severe M.E., he rediscovered his passion for poetry that had been dormant since his teenage years. Daniel has been acclaimed by various poetry competitions, including The Oliver Goldsmith Literature Festival, the Westmoreland Arts & Heritage Festival, and the Jurica-Suchy Nature Museum’s Nature Poetry Contest.
Daniel, I very much enjoyed this handsome poem representing a volcanic blast. The tetrameter gives it a rather jaunty tone, suited to displaying the event as a normal flash of nature. The choice of descriptive words is excellent; they are well used especially when the usage seems unexpected, as in “lava might” (for power) and “consumes the still” (for silence).
I notice several singular verbs that should be plural because the subject is compound. Foam and fume “pervade” a thrust and “stoke” the trails. Ash and flame “come” from black and red. Ash and flame also “elevate” a graceful guise. And light and dark “contest” the skies. Fixing these little things (which our moderator can do if you say so) will make reading easier.
Hi Margaret, thank you very much for your kind and inspiring words on the piece, as well as for your feedback on what ought to be adjusted. I would be grateful if these changes could be applied. How may I contact the moderator?
I have since figured out how. Thank you once again.
Daniel, the corrections are done… Mike
Top quality.
A sumptuous, subtly enigmatic, elegant painting of words, dear chap.
Superb prosodic craftmanship. Proper good poem this is.
Hi D., you’re too kind. Thank you very much for taking the time to share your reaction on reading.
Thank you kindly for your views and such generous praise, Jerry.
Daniel, I particularly enjoyed the phrase, “…the trails of a cradled crust.” Having once enjoyed the memorable experience of standing close enough to oozing lava to poke it with a stick, I can affirm that those words capture the image perfectly. A rare occurrence, I should think, in Wales.
James, thank you for your kind words. That must have been a wonderful experience to be that close to flowing lava. I have only been able to appreciate that on National Geographic to date. By the way, although I am new here, I have at least been reading through a lot of the wonderful poetry to be found, and I wanted to say that “Evening Idyll” is one of my favourite things that I’ve ever read.