Shards
How unexpected did that moment come;
How swift and sudden did that moment pass.
A fleeting touch that left my spirit numb;
A shattered mirror, shards of broken glass.
A moment etched into my memory
As if engraved on cold, unbending stone.
A passing moment in eternity;
A dream, a nightmare known to me, alone.
And what of you, who think you know me well;
When, love aside, you know me not at all?
A tale I cannot bring myself to tell;
A time-looped play in which I’m doomed to fall.
So, if I weep in silence, understand
It isn’t you. It’s when I feel his hand.
The Featured Singer
An evening out with friends. While on the-way,
I joined them in a basement bistro bar.
How Brechtian, I thought. A cabaret
Where Lotta Lenya could have been the star.
I had a glass of wine, or maybe three,
But that, I swear was not the reason why
The featured singer’s voice affected me
In such a way that I began to cry.
Her song filled me with sadness. Full with tears,
I wept and hid my face behind my hands
As buried feelings fought with deep-set fears
To free me from my self-shamed shadowlands.
As when the dawn sets darkest night aside.
So did it seem when my last tear had dried.
Poet’s Note: While these two poems are “fictive,” they were inspired by the experiences of two women shared with me some years ago. These poems are my attempt to capture their experiences in words that, in poetic form, approximate their own.
James A. Tweedie is a retired pastor living in Long Beach, Washington. He has written and published six novels, one collection of short stories, and four collections of poetry including Sidekicks, Mostly Sonnets, and Laughing Matters, all with Dunecrest Press. His poems have been published nationally and internationally in both print and online media. He was honored with being chosen as the winner of the 2021 SCP International Poetry Competition.
I just love these two poems — the stories, the rhyme and meter. Outstanding! “To free me from my self-shamed shadowlands” is an amazing line! Thanks for these two pleasures.
James
Thank you for these two well-crafted sonnets that capture so well repressed and unexpressed feelings about traumatic events. The speakers do not use “therapy speak” –rather, they allude to “the facts” only tangentially, and do not “label” the events, or find a “pattern.” They are not saying (glibly and with flat affect)–“Oh yeah, like many girls, I was raped, it’s so long ago, I’m over it, part of growing up I suppose. The guy was stoned on marijuana, came from a family of alcoholics–it was partially my fault because I was myself a little high, and I let him come inside the door to my apartment.” Rather, these poems mirror the way that people (including both sexes) think and talk to themselves about deep-seated grief and shame.
“Shards” especially is powerful: a rape victim who cannot share with anyone, even (and in probable fact, most especially) her beloved husband, her traumatic experience. This is the bind that survivors of trauma typically face. I think this is especially true of deep-seated sexual trauma.
“The Featured Singer” captures the phenomenon that music is one avenue that seems to “channel” the inarticulate emotions of survivors. Something in the music releases emotional tension and that person, seemingly “out of nowhere” begins to cry.
Sincerely
Mary Jane
Great sonnets, James. They both elicit deep, heartfelt emotions!