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Craft
—a conversation between Beauty and Productivity
“You don’t have time for this, you know.” “Says who?”
“That daily checklist down there in your tool
bar, that’s who says!” “Calm down. You need to cool
your jets and let me think.” “Think? That’s what you
call this? You look more like a water bird,
all hesitation-stepping after some
small morsel.” “It’s surprising this should come
from you.” “That what should come from me?” “You heard
yourself, I’m sure. That lovely image of
a heron, as I see it?” “That was just
a way of speaking. Look, you really must
get to your work and stop this stuff you love.”
“This ‘unproductive stuff,’ you mean? That drew
that most delightful metaphor from you?”
.
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T. M. Moore is Principal of The Fellowship of Ailbe, a spiritual fellowship in the Celtic Christian tradition. He and his wife and editor, Susie, make their home in the Champlain Valley of Vermont.
This is a fascinating conversation, T.M. The irony of Productivity coming up with a metaphor (apparently without realizing it!) is a fun twist. “Hesitation-stepping” is a great visual image.
I read line 8 as four meters instead of the usual five; and I wonder if “That drew” in the final line was meant to end the previous line, for pentameter and for rhyme.
I’m sure Margaret will have interesting things to say about the enjambments. I like at least some of them.
I thought the same about the words “That drew.” They really belong at the end of the previous line, both metrically and for rhyme. It would be better to remove the question mark in that previous line, add a comma, and have it read like this:
“This ‘unproductive stuff,’ you mean, that drew
that most delightful metaphor from you?”
Actually, friends, that’s the way it was composed, but somehow, when I transmitted it to Evan, it went askew. “That drew” goes at the end of the preceding line. I’ve asked Evan if he could repair it.
Thanks to Evan for fixing the sloppy manuscript I carelessly submitted. Thanks for spotting that line 8 mistake, now repaired.
I just checked my original submission, and it was my bad all the way.
The language here is pointedly contemporary, colloquial, and informal. Beauty and Productivity are almost aggressive toward one another. The many enjambments suit the tone, and make the poem look like free verse, though accentual-syllabic meter is maintained. The last line is the one and only “comfortable” one (smooth and musical), suggesting reconciliation between the speakers and the achievement of “Craft” out of conflict. I wonder, T. M., if you decided on deliberate excess enjambment, placing breaks where the reader might have to re-assure himself of the meaning, in order to create that effect.
I compose in fits and starts. An idea will come together after intermittent periods of pondering, then the challenge is to find the time to work it into a verse. My days are filled with writing deadlines and meetings of various kinds, so once they begin there’s not much room for poetry–usually in the evenings or sometimes, as in this poem, staving off the day to get a verse down that seems to be demanding immediate composition. I wanted this poem to express the simultaneous tension and calm I experience when I’m holding off the pressures of the work day to indulge a bit of delight in versifying. As for the excess enjambment, I think it’s inevitable for me, because I want my poems to be conversational, as if someone were sharing a thought with a friend over a cup of coffee. The less visible the poetic devices, the more I’m pleased with my verse. But I want the devices there and I want them to be correct. I appreciate very much the helpful observations, questions, and comments .