.
A Fitful Veil
A wanton wave of pallid hail descends
from ashen skies. Its drifts are carried through
to every nook and peak by lofty winds;
abundant, jutted, powdered sheets imbue
terrains with bright white hues, as structured flakes
display arrays of lustrous reveries.
This frigid reign persists. A frozen lake
reflects a fervid glare, as if to tease
a place where sheens and gleams can shine as one.
But blankets bearing flame-lit crystals spell
their end; their flimsy layers come undone,
as landscapes well in scintillating swells.
A realm left bare, with gifted streaks of gold,
is lesser for the loss of winter’s hold.
.
.
Daniel Moreschi is a poet from Neath, South Wales, UK. After life was turned upside down by his ongoing battle with severe M.E., he rediscovered his passion for poetry that had been dormant since his teenage years. Daniel has been acclaimed by various poetry competitions across the United Kingdom and United States.
It’s always exciting when it hails – as long as it’s not that golf-ball-size stuff.
You’ve conveyed this rare-ish but stunning weather phenomenon perfectly.
Thanks for the read, Daniel.
Scintillating imagery with avid alliteration in flowing rhyming verse make this an enchanting, entrancing poem from the mind of a skilled artisan.
“A Fitful Veil” is a wonderful title for a poem on hail, Daniel. It conveys the “hits” of each piece in the fighting “fit” of pellets bouncing on my driveway in a recent wave. As the hail first comes down, it resembles snow in small portions, and you present a pallid and powdered blanket of whites. This took great care in word and sound choice, of which I especially like the attention to “s” in the sentence “landscapes well in scintillating swells.” “Well done” is literally meaningful here.
This is a nicely done sonnet, and it shows a willingness to bend the rules slightly.
The near-rhyme of “descends/winds” in the first quatrain is one instance; another is the use of plural rhymes such as “flakes/lake” and “spell/swells” in the second and third. The late poet Timothy Murphy disliked these plural rhymes, but in fact they are useful and acceptable. They do not detract from the syntactical and grammatical flow of the poem.
Also, the unshackled use of rhetorical copia in this sonnet is gratifying. In the fourth line, three adjectives in succession (“abundant, jutted, powdered”) are striking and effective. And enjambments carry all of the first three quatrains into a single verbal act. This is not only elegant, but gives the closing couplet greater force.
What a great title. It frames this magical poem perfectly. Your words have thrilled me with chills of charm, and I especially like, “This frigid reign persists. A frozen lake / reflects a fervid glare, as if to tease” – beautiful! In fact, every single line of this superb sonnet shines. Thank you, Daniel!
A lovely, descriptive sonnet. Thank you.