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Seasons of Change
Our fervour was apricity’s embrace.
As neon streaks awash a Nordic night,
it flared unfettered through the carapace
of clotted clouds to cast its fluid light.
Accrescent cravings bloomed in brumal air.
We whispered vows in springtime’s silver moon.
As fireflies, we sparked a summer flare,
but in autumnal gilt, we were bestrewn.
Alas, the winds destroyed our nurtured nest,
and branches wept in tears of brittle leaves.
Our honeyed hive, engulfed in flames to breast
succumbed to fate, and now the woodland grieves.
And thus a season’s smouldering memoirs
were laid to rest bedecked with vintage scars.
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Stuti is an Indian writer from Dubai. She received an honorable mention in the 2021 Annual Haiku Competition held by the Society of Classical Poets and has been published by them. She has also been published by Wingless Dreamer Publishers in their 2021 winter anthology, by Sky Island Journal, by Celestite Poetry, and by Slice O’ Life Lit Mag.
You create a vivid series of images, many of them alliterative.
I particularly liked ‘the carapace of clotted clouds’.
Thanks for the read, Stuti.
Paul, thank you so much for your wonderful comment and for taking the time to read and share your thoughts. I enjoyed writing the changing descriptions for this piece.
What a lovely poem…I especially enjoyed “accrescent cravings bloomed in brumal air.”
Thank you so much for reading and being appreciative Allegra. That is very encouraging
What a feast of words! They challenge readers because some are unusual, but all are beautifully used. And with the words comes a cascade of images that doesn’t focus anywhere for long. This is a fine technique for a poem concerning change. The concluding couplet sets passion in the past with rhyme-word pictures that refer to past time: “memoirs” and “scars.”
The next-to-last line seems to lack a syllable, and thus doesn’t conform to your meter. Many English speakers familiar with French pronounce “memoirs” with the accent on the last syllable, making it a perfect rhyme with “scars.” I’ll suggest you need a 3-syllable word to replace “ardent.” Like “ardent,” it should suggest both heat and love. “Smouldering” might be a good choice for this rapturous sonnet.
Margaret, it is an honour for me that you took the time to read this piece and leave such a wonderful comment and your helpful suggestions. I learned so much and especially about the different ways in which ‘memoirs’ could be pronounced. I actually requested for the edit on the piece to also change the word from ‘ardent’ to ‘smouldering’
I am truly grateful for the opportunity to learn from the very best here!
Thank you for expanding my vocabulary with some new (to me) words. I will especially look forward to an opportunity to use “apricity” — “the warmth of the sun in winter.”
Thank you for your wonderful words, Jack. You have a friend in me, for your love for the word ‘apricity’
It is wonderful and an honour to be part of a collective where there is so much shared learning from reading each others’ work.
This is indeed a lovely piece of work, Stuti, thematically coherent and all of a piece. I, too, had a problem with the rhyme in the final couplet (where an unstressed rhyme sound is paired with a stressed sound), but Margaret has cleared that up. And the vocabulary, as others have noted, is exceptional.
Thank you so much for your kind words about this piece. I am glad Margaret pointed out the second to last line. I was reading ‘memoirs’ as a 3 syllable word instead of as 2 syllables and it was wonderful to learn how the different ways of pronouncing it can change that line. I am grateful to you for reading and for sharing your thoughts as well!
Stuti, although your poem includes a number of less commonly used words, they are all used to great effect. This is a lovely seasonal poem.
David, so grateful to you for reading and taking the time to share your thoughts. I truly appreciate you
What a well written sonnet, Stuti. It’s vivid, coherent and very atmospheric. It’s a wonderful example of a Shakespearean Sonnet. Well done!
Gary, that is such kind and wonderful feedback. I am touched and grateful for your lovely words
What a striking sonnet that shimmers with the beauty of superlative imagery and delightful vocabulary. I especially like your employment of exquisite alliteration – none of it forced. The poem is sensual and wistful and I love it. I almost overlooked it… I’m thrilled I didn’t. It’s been a pleasure to read. Thank you, Stuti.
So humbled by your kind words Susan. I wrote it with the intentions you have expressed in your comment – imagery & wistfulness particularly, and I’m so glad they transferred on. Grateful that you took the time to read.
Seasons of Change is an astounding poem. I can feel it and I am so glad to find it. A beautiful tapestry.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment Clare. I am delighted it spoke to you.