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Home Educational

How to Write Haiku: What Makes a Good Haiku?

June 29, 2022
in Educational, Essays, Haiku, Poetry
A A
61
poems How to Write Haiku: What Makes a Good Haiku?

.

How to Write Haiku

What Makes a Good Haiku?

by Margaret Coats

The required 5-7-5 syllable form alone does not make a haiku. A good haiku

⦁ presents an observation of nature, or of human activities in nature
⦁ uses present tense (“goes” or “going,” not “went” or “has gone”)
⦁ has a seasonal word or image, known in Japanese as a “kigo”
⦁ has two parts or two images or two aspects
⦁ offers an intriguing insight that arises from interaction of the two parts

Below are examples of good haiku, chosen from runners-up and other entries last year. They fulfill ALL the above haiku requirements, but are grouped to allow for easy discussion of one requirement at a time, in the paragraph that follows each group. Information and advice about the seasonal requirement, including a link to a kigo list, with an analysis of last year’s winner, can be found HERE. A more detailed article on haiku by G.M.H. Thompson is HERE.

.

The 17 Syllables in English

These first four haiku show how poets writing in English can naturalize the required Japanese syllabic form by using features of English poetry, including rhythm, rhyme, and alliteration. These things are neither required nor specially favored in this competition. However, they add beauty to the poem and demonstrate the poet’s skill with language.

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Dark branches stripped bare
cold and sad, quite unaware
stirrings down below

―Linette Eloff

.

Snow falls through the night
Dressing farm and field in white—
Dazzling dawn in sight!

―Martin Rizley

.

one lone(ly) mallard
ignored by his own echo
quacks again, hoping

―James Ripley

.

Curious concert—
crickets croon to a cornfield
of indifferent ears

―Martin Elster

.

Linette Eloff captures late winter in three lines appropriately rhymed and metered. The third line, with the same number of syllables as the first, has more word accents or stresses. It thus has more of the deep “stirrings” it mentions—and it breaks away from the “bare”/ “unaware” rhyme and tone of the other lines. Contrast Martin Rizley’s winter haiku, which exhibits regular English rhythm, rhyme, and alliteration in all three lines. These suit the exuberant tone of his poem. James Ripley uses another tactic. His parentheses in the word “lone(ly)” emphasize the meaning he can add to his first line with the required fifth syllable. The quacking mallard is both “lone” (solitary) and “lonely” (forlorn). Martin Elster makes every syllable count, accompanying his farm concert with both alliteration from the noisy crickets, and a pun on the indifferent ears of corn in the audience.

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Artistry of the Present Tense

.

end of the summer—
the calm surface of a lake
absorbs the twilight.

―Marek Kozubek

.

Looming laden clouds
Blanket Bombay’s bustling streets
And storms paint the sky

―Stuti Sinha

.

taste of morning tea
the delicate ray of sun
through an icicle

―Daniela Misso

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The group above shows varied artistry employing the required present tense. Marek Kozubek uses a single present tense verb (“absorbs”) to describe minimal action, but it manages to fill his noiseless scene with light and color. Stuti Sinha’s poem brims with action: present tense verbs “blanket” and “paint,” present participles “looming” and “bustling,” along with the past participle “laden,” acceptable in haiku because used as an adjective. These combine to build up a picture of increasingly wild weather over a busy city. In Daniela Misso’s haiku, there are no verbs at all. Present tense is presumed in the action of a human observer who notices the sunlit icicle while sipping tea.

.

The Two-Part Haiku

.

black skyscrapers scratch
at something beyond the gray
as white flakes drift down

―Spencer Green

.

As winter draws near
Fabulous floral worlds bloom
The solace of books

―Mia P Solomonides

.

Wisteria blooms
Along a sidewalk café
Coffee in the air

―Ravi Kivan

.

watermelon patch
I let the weathered scarecrow
try on my straw hat

―Darrell Lindsey

.

Like new fallen snow
Seabirds rest then I approach
White riot of flight

―Mike Bryant

.

A haiku should have two parts or two images or two aspects. The two things contrast or combine creatively to produce the poem’s overall effect. Spencer Green’s skyscrapers do not wait passively for snow, but actively scratch it out of the gray sky. Mia Solomonides teases readers with a flagrantly impossible winter scene—then explains that it exists in the books one can comfortably read indoors on a cold day. Ravi Kivan makes clever use of the related words “café” (a place) and “coffee” (a beverage served in such a place) to appeal to the two senses of sight and taste. In all three poems, Part One is the first two lines, and Part Two the final line. This is usual among haiku, but not universal. Darrell Lindsey sets the scene in his first line, then enters and alters it in the remaining two lines. Mike Bryant’s poem is a very unusual haiku that divides exactly in the middle, where the quiet scene moves to action. His ninth syllable, the word “then,” is something like a Japanese kireji or “cutting word,” but such words have functions in Japanese that are unfamiliar in the English language. Poets writing in English shouldn’t save a syllable to slice lines, but simply make sure that each haiku has two elements that can interact in an interesting way.

.

The Intriguing Insight

How can haiku demand an original insight in every poem? Remember, first of all, that this most difficult requirement is simply a special perception from the poet’s own carefully observed scene.

.

Boughs froth with new blooms
when the monsoon rain sweeps through
trees toss their bouquets

―Rachel Nel

.

How short is freedom
gained by the cherry blossom
released from the branch

―Germain Droogenbroodt

.

Falling August stars
The sky is full of beauty
So many wishes

―Vita

.

All three of these poems view something beautiful falling. Rachel Nel sees monsoon rain sweeping frothy blooms from boughs; she thinks of a bride tossing her bouquet to others as the wedding celebration ends. Good thought—and no more is needed. The poem is done, and the poet doesn’t have to picture anyone catching soggy flowers. The more philosophical Germain Droogenbroodt reflects on the distance between branch and ground when a cherry blossom falls. To him, this brings thoughts of short-lived freedom. Again, enough insight for an excellent haiku, expressed in terms of the bloom being released from the prison of the branch. Vita sees stars fall during summer meteor showers. The additional light and motion brighten and beautify the already starry sky—and the observer gains hope for many wishes fulfilled, in accord with the proverb, “to wish upon a falling star.”

.

Quality Alone Cannot Qualify

.

What is a Haiku?
Beautiful words . . . not many
Alas! Not these words

―Norma Pain

.

This clever poem in haiku form is good and true and beautiful, but it is not a haiku. If you don’t know why not, please read over the Examples and Explanation again. Looking forward to your haiku!

.

.

Margaret Coats lives in California.  She holds a Ph.D. in English and American Literature and Language from Harvard University.  She has retired from a career of teaching literature, languages, and writing that included considerable work in homeschooling for her own family and others. 

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Comments 61

  1. Donald M. Foy says:
    3 years ago

    Haiku

    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    Today is reality
    *****
    Life is short
    Art is long

    Reply
  2. Carl says:
    3 years ago

    HAIKU CONTEST
    My entry:
    Climate change unfair
    But all of us need to care
    Fail the earth beware

    Reply
  3. Larry says:
    3 years ago

    Thank you Margaret. That makes perfect sense.

    Reply
  4. rene says:
    3 years ago

    I want to submit a haiku. Were is the form?

    Reply
    • Mike Bryant says:
      3 years ago

      Rene,
      Go to this page:

      https://classicalpoets.org/2023/08/01/haiku-competition-2023/

      Read all the rules then scroll all the way to the bottom of the comments. You will see the comment box at the bottom of the page. Enter your haiku in the comment box following ALL the rules, then push the “SUBMIT” button.
      That’s all there is to it.
      Thanks,
      Mike the Moderator

      Reply
  5. Vasanthi Swetha says:
    3 years ago

    #1
    Roses in gardens —
    lost lovers raising hands
    calling for your help

    #2
    Time is slow today
    perhaps children are drawing 
    sunrises in art class

    #3
    Spring walks by summer
    the coy sun smells of honey
    bees follow the rays

    Reply
    • Vasanthi Swetha says:
      3 years ago

      Apologies, few small edits to the previous one:

      #1
      Roses in gardens —
      lost lovers raising both hands
      calling for your help

      #2
      Time is slow today
      perhaps children are drawing 
      suns rise in art class

      #3
      Spring walks by summer
      the coy sun smells of honey
      bees follow the rays

      Reply
  6. Judith A. Hix says:
    3 years ago

    Peace on the prairie

    Soil unturned neath the tall grass

    Then eagle take vole

    Reply
    • Judith A. Hix says:
      3 years ago

      (A typing correction : last line : takes replacing take)

      Peace on the prairie

      Soil unturned neath the tall grass

      Then eagle takes vole

      Reply
  7. Tejendra Sherchan says:
    2 years ago

    the monsoon raindrops
    held on a wild grass cobweb
    diamonds on hammock

    late summer heat
    walking in the pine forest
    butterfly fans me

    somnambulism
    I turn on my new laptop
    and shut it down

    Reply
    • Margaret Coats says:
      2 years ago

      Thank you, Tejendra Sherchan, for your haiku. I believe you want to enter them in the 2024 contest. I will have the moderator move them to the contest entry page.

      PLEASE, ALL WRITERS WITH HAIKU FOR THIS YEAR’S CONTEST, DO NOT TYPE ENTRIES HERE! CLICK ON THE “HAIKU CONTEST” BOX ABOVE RIGHT. When you get to the correct contest page, scroll down very far to where it says “LEAVE A REPLY.” That’s where I’m sure to notice what you type. See you there!

      Reply
  8. Guy Graybill says:
    1 year ago

    My three haiku selections:

    Love stories abound,
    ‘Tho destined to end sadly,
    As all loves must end!

    We are ever lost….
    We’ll never find the river!
    Ahhh! There’s the fog bank!

    Poem rejected.
    An invalid count was found.
    Seppuku’s my fate!

    Reply
  9. Guy Graybill says:
    1 year ago

    Hello ~

    Have you or have you not received my three haiku entries? The only place they seem to appear is in a commentary section.

    Please explain.

    Reply
  10. Margaret Coats says:
    1 year ago

    IMPORTANT NOTICE FOR HAIKU CONTESTANTS

    Please DO NOT type haiku contest entries here! Instead, press the small arrow to the lower right, then when you come to the top of this page, click on the HAIKU CONTEST banner. When there, scroll all the way down to where it says LEAVE A REPLY. That’s where contest judges look to find your entries. Thanks!

    Reply
  11. Adam Crawford says:
    1 year ago

    The stream’s steady flow,
    stopped by stacked sticks, filters through
    them and continues.

    Reply
  12. Cora a Vidrine says:
    1 year ago

    My life
    Life feels like a dream,
    pain too heavy for my hands—
    still, I chase the light.

    Reply
  13. eric huang says:
    10 months ago

    Sunset on still lakes,
    ripples catch the golden hush—-
    peace becomes a glow.

    Reply
  14. eric huang says:
    10 months ago

    A deer stops to stare,

    soft eyes wide with gentle trust——

    the wild welcomes us.

    Reply
  15. brett brady says:
    2 months ago

    this litle drizzle
    is nearly inviible–
    as the low sun sets

    the hovering dust . . .
    all that remains of a dream,
    just pieces of moon

    for all its flutter,
    how softly the plum petal
    tenderly settles

    Reply
  16. Ken Moon says:
    2 months ago

    The legend Babe Ruth
    the mighty swing, the grandma trot
    silent film mythic

    Lightning, twelve o’clock
    all on the field to dugouts
    delays play—not mood

    bases in baseball
    counter to rotation, clock
    one, two, three left turns

    Reply
  17. Eva Drobna says:
    1 month ago

    loud silence
    emotional stress
    architects of the day
    morning meditation
    traces of time on the face

    cold wind
    creative thinking
    warmth with coffee

    in the quiet breath of grass
    rustling apple trees
    flying drone

    Reply
  18. Sashini Iroshini says:
    3 weeks ago

    Dancing of bamboo
    Cold winds blow, making music
    An evening dance floor.

    Bloom felt sleepy, but
    Fireflies like colourful light-
    Like a carnival.

    Bashful moon hiding—
    Behind the cloudy curtain,
    Plays at hide-and-seek.

    Reply
  19. Don G. Hwang says:
    1 hour ago

    In Martin Elster’s haiku:

    Curious concert—
    crickets croon to a cornfield
    of indifferent ears

    of indifferent ears is 6 syllables, not 5.

    Reply
  20. Don G. Hwang says:
    32 minutes ago

    Looming laden clouds, one lone(ly) mallard,
    Curious concert—, all are missing kigo.

    Reply
Next

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