It is a moment or a spot in time,
When time is quieted and put away;
A simple thing becoming the sublime,
Suspended and eternal in a day
And all around me just dissolves to naught;
I feel my world around me disappears;
It is just me before you—I am caught
Between my happiness and many fears.
You look at me as if you’ve known before
All that I am in heart and soul and mind,
Or wish to know them, here and now and more:
These gazes that reveal and seek entwined.
For then I look up and I realize
I get lost when I look into your eyes.
Theresa Rodriguez is the author of Jesus and Eros: Sonnets, Poems and Songs. She also has put together a chapbook of 37 sonnets which is available as an ebook on amazon.com.
This is a very fine sonnet, Shakespearean not just in form but also in its acute psychologizing. Line 12 (“These gazes that reveal and seek entwined”) is a clear allusion to the Renaissance notion that the “eye-beams” of two potential lovers can entangle and entrap their souls in helpless mutual adoration.
My only suggestion is that in line 7 there should be a dash after /you/, not a comma, since two separate independent clauses are involved. Normally I’d suggest a semicolon, but since there is already one in line 6 the dash would be more appropriate.
Thank you Professor Salemi for your comments and your punctuation suggestion for line 7. I have requested Evan to update it. Your appreciation means the world to me!