Breath by Breath
An orb of light in darkness flickers out
To halt the marching steps of eager trust;
As trembling nerves bite down into the dust
_And sense the slow but pressing clout
Of imminent defeat. Thus, breath by breath,
The lonely heart must wander, losing sight
Of measured wealth, of love and sheer delight
To find its place beyond all planes of death.
first published in Well Met (January)
Satyananda Sarangi is a young civil servant by profession. A graduate in electrical engineering, his works have featured in The Society of Classical Poets, The HyperTexts, Shot Glass Journal, Snakeskin, WestWard Quarterly, Sparks of Calliope, Page & Spine, Glass: Facets of Poetry, The GreenSilk Journal and elsewhere. He currently resides in Odisha, India.
Bravely if nervously stated renunciation of “eager trust,” Satyananda, though perhaps you mean its “imminent defeat” here to acknowledge and transcend “all planes of death.” Is line 4 intentionally one metrical foot shorter than the other lines, to demonstrate the “pressing clout”?
The intention was to make the reader feel the impact of “trembling nerves” in the preceding line that lead to the next where “the clout” halts the movement all of a sudden. I’m not sure whether I could pull this off!
I understood the possibility, so you were successful!
What more does a poet need! On a personal level, this is a “breakthrough” poem for me, after months of self-introspection.
Thanks for your lovely comment, Margaret Ma’am.
Loss of faith, loss of love, loss of trust, loss of ambition. This poem could be on a metaphorical level referencing one or all of these.
A well-structured, thought-provoking poem, Satyananda.
Greetings, Sir!
I like the way you talked about the poem referencing loss of all of these (love, faith, ambition and trust). The point of origin for such pieces is grief and longing – gradually leading to loss of ambition and finally, loss of faith. The wandering never stops – it goes on from one form to another.
There is a depth of meaning to your poem anchored by the “lonely heart.”
Greetings!
Glad that you brought up the “lonely heart” into the discussion – I’m reminded of lines from a poem of H.W. Longfellow (my 1st Guru).
“Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary. ”
(From “The Rainy Day”)
What a melancholic yet beautiful poem, Satyananda. I feel the sense of sadness and spirituality… the poem has a haunting depth in its brevity. ‘Breath by Breath’ sings to me. Thank you!
Glad to have your comment and as interestingly put by you, I wonder if sadness and spirituality can co-exist. Can they?
Yes of course sadness and spirituality can coexist. Spirituality is not about never hurting. It is what you do with the grief. It is possible to grieve over loss and to feel joy and gratitude that love or a connection existed at all. Mixed emotions are all very human. Life doesn’t mean “spiritual” OR “sad” – it means both, including the moments of belief and the moments of doubt that come with it. To me your poem speaks of this. Although it doesn’t speak of spirituality in religious terms, it frames sadness inside a larger and almost sacred quest for a place “beyond all planes of death” – a beautiful phrase which is deeply spiritual.
I can’t thank you enough for this elaborative insight !
Best wishes.
Nice work, Satyananda!
Susan already said exactly what I was thinking, so I “second” her comment!
Always a lovely feeling to have your thoughts on my work. Your painting is poetry put on the canvas.
Love and best wishes!
Your beautiful poem reaches a depth of feeling in me that brings me to tears. I feel the impact of the ‘trembling nerves’ and their deeply painful causes.
Thank you for sharing your lovely work, Satyananda!
Tears from the reader are the best gift for a poet – they can both come from a point of highest happiness or of deepest sorrow.
Thanks a ton for rewarding my poem with your tears.
“Breath by Breath” is a restrained, evocative read on loss and endurance, where flickering light and encroaching defeat feel both intimate and universal. Its closing turn gestures toward meaning beyond familiar comforts without offering easy resolution, deepening the poem’s impact; subtle, disciplined, and reflective, it lingers through calm intensity rather than overt sentiment. Marvelous, many congratulations.
Thanks a lot for these valuable thoughts, Devika Mausi!