Deliverance
Upon the bank, this waters wave,
_And beckon you, “Come wade.”
You step into the chilly stream
_And sip spiked lemonade.
The current flows around your waist.
_You think, “Why be afraid?”
You feel sand shift below your feet.
_The torrent’s swift and strong.
You turn to face the empty bank:
_The river roars its song.
You start to slip in swirling muck;
_The surge pulls you along
And swept like leaves upon the stream—
_The shore’s a distant sight.
You float downstream as arms grow weak
_And thrash with all your might.
A voice is heard: “It’s sink or swim!”
_How much more can you fight?
You cough up foam and start to sink
_But feel a hand’s strong hold,
Which pulls you up into a boat.
_He speaks with words from old:
“I pulled your body from the deep.
_Shall we discuss your soul?”
Beach Peach
Beach peach.
Ripe bite.
Fun sun.
Sand strand.
Wet pet.
Sea breeze.
Kite’s flight.
Dip chips.
Pop tops.
Munch lunch.
Cloud shroud.
Storm forms.
Flash. Dash.
Squall falls.
Rain wanes.
Dark harks.
Stars are.
Moon looms.
Fire spires.
Wine shines.
Kiss bliss.
Peter Venable has been writing poetry for fifty years and his poems have appeared in The Lyric, The Merton Seasonal, The Christian Century, and other publications. More of his work can be found at petercvenable.wordpress.com. His “Roofless Church” merited an Honorable Mention in The Best Poems of 2024 in the SCP’s International Poetry Competition.
Wow! Two contrasting pieces. We’ve probably all got into trouble in the water, one time or another, so Deliverance resonates. For me, my hand slipped from the rail around a swimming pool, condemning me to the deep (end) and a hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me out – though he or she wasn’t after my soul!
I particularly enjoyed ‘Beach Peach’ and your day at the seaside. A fun, whimsical piece, and a unique style to me. The alternate word rhymes is well-sustained, seamless, and quite remarkable.
I enjoyed both, Peter.
Sipping spiked lemonade and stepping into torrential rivers–unlikely to end well. The allegory works well, with the rescuer’s perfect timing and gentle prompt toward a safer, and wiser, life path.
The beach day and evening shines too, with its fun rhymes and putting a lot into few words.
Peter, there seems to be an allusion to the Apostle Peter in your first poem that is a perfect completion.
Peter, I may never have seen a poem in which every word is so carefully weighed as in “Beach Peach.” It certainly took more thought than the casual reader might guess. In “Deliverance,” the final question of the deliverer comes as naturally as would the gratitude of the delivered. Perhaps not often so quickly and easily spoken!
Such a rare skill to compose a poem like Beach Peach, Peter. Correct me if I’m wrong but they are all spondees. Such a pleasure.
Peter,
Thanks for sharing both poems. I enjoyed the gradual change in safety in the first poem with the apropos title arriving at the end; my favorite of the two you shared. The second poem is interesting in its delivery.
Peter
Thank you for these two well-crafted poems.
‘Deliverance’ is a lovely 4-stanza poem, each stanza 6 lines in traditional ballad meter. The second-line rhymes are masculine and exact, except for the final rhyme “soul” which is a slant rhyme. This lands the poem in a slightly unexpected way, and makes the significant point: that God has rescued the body of this human being (the “you”—could be “everyman or everywoman”), and now wants to alert this “you” to the state of “your” soul. The narration perfectly captures the “trap” that the soul falls into, and then its “rescue” by God. At first, moral waters are calm and beckoning, and the soul is sipping delicious lemonade But now, ‘you feel sand shift below your feet’ and soon you are ‘swept like leaves upon the stream’. The soul is drowning ‘you cough up foam and start to sink.’ Finally, ‘a hand’s strong hold’ rescues your body. But now: the realization: this voice of God reminds the human being: ‘Shall we discuss your soul?’ As we like to say: a wake-up call! (But how often do humans follow up with action?!)
‘Beach Peach’ is a 21-line tour-de-force of delightful word-play, plus the title that refers to the narrator’s romantic partner. Each line contains one-syllable rhyming words in each line. The narrative arc is a day at the beach, complete with sun, sand, pet, flying a kite, lunch, an afternoon rainstorm, sundown, sipping of wine, and finally ‘kiss bliss” presumably with the “beach peach” of the title. Bravo! How whimsical and clever and delightful.
Sincerely
Mary Jane (Myers)