There are kingdoms to rule if your foot’s the right size
_____or your beauty is flawless and rare.
With a tune and a tower, you’ll capture brave hearts —
_____if you don’t mind his boots in your hair.
Kiss the beast or the frog and you’ll set a prince free.
_____(He’s a jerk, but he’s mended his ways.)
When you meet a sleek wolf on the road to your Gran’s
_____keep those goodies tucked safely away.
_____________Hah!
Sure, Princessing RULES, but some princes are fools.
_____Don’t swallow your pride or your voice.
Should you happily ever? or happily never?
_____No one else has the right – it’s YOUR choice.
Take that sword off the shelf and go rescue yourself.
_____Dump the frogs. Face a dragon or two.
Be clever and brave! There’s a world to be saved.
_____The fairy tale hero is YOU.
C L Clickard is an internationally published poet and award winning children’s author. You can find more about her work at both clclickard.com and her evil twin clariceradrick.com.
What a clever, witty poem, Ms. Clickard! Thanks for sharing it.
Thanks so much!
Front-clipped dactylic heptameter with internal rhyme in the longer section — wow! Really fine work.
Lovely to have feedback with technical poetic savvy. Thanks!
What is “Front-clipped”?
I love this poem. Very nice work!
Kind of you to say! Thank you.
Ms. Clickard, Hello.
1. I really like the internal rhyme in the third lines of S3 and S4. I would try to do the same thing in S1 and S2. Here are a couple of ideas:
If a wolf spoils your plans on the road to your Gran’s
With a tune and some smarts, you will capture brave hearts.
2. If you mean “his boots in your hair” in the sense of domination, then I might change it to: “his boot on your hair.” I think of “in your hair” as meaning annoying or in the way. I think “his boot on your hair” better reflects a sense of domination, assuming that is your intended meaning.
3. In S3L2, I might change “Don’t” to “Do not” to better reflect the anapestic meter, but it does work as is.
4. In S3L3, I would change “or” to “Or,” since that word starts a sentence. Just like you did in S4L3.
5. This is a great poem. I like the meter, the rhymes and the message. Well done!
Mark,
On point #2, I was reading the phrase “his boots in your hair” as a reference to Rapunzel, the long-haired princess locked in the high tower. The prince had to cry “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair, so that I may climb thy golden stair.” And then he would climb the rope of her braided hair up to her window in the tower.
You’re absolutely right, Amy. It’s a Rapunzel reference. 🙂
Thanks Mark for the feedback. Appreciate the suggestions.
I seem to have put my reply to you under Amy. Apologies. And thanks for your thoughtful input.
Carrie
Bravo!
Or Brava! As the case may be
I will say thank you kindly and curtsy to either, Nathan. 🙂
CL,
After reading your poem I immediately sent a link to my wife and three grown daughters under the subject: Fairy Tales, a Second Opinion. At the end of the poem I added a closing word to my daughters, “May all your dreams come true.” Thank you for this timely, cogent, and seriously amusing poem!
I’m very touched. I’m so glad you shared it. Thank you, James..
Thanks to the Society for sharing my poem and all the lovely feedback. I’m delighted to have joined you here in this cultured corner of the web.
Carrie
To Mr. Quintanilla —
“Front-clipped,” in this instance, means that the normally expected hard stress of the first syllable in a dactyl ( / x x ) is absent. In Clickard’s poem, this occurs in the beginning of all the lines, e.g.
x x / x x / x x / x x /
There are kingdoms to rule if your foot’s the right size
You could take the lines as anapestic, of course. But the essential beat of the line, to my reading, is dactylic.
Your poem is clever and entertaining. The choice of a trisyllabic meter, such as was also used effectively by Dr Seuss, perfectly suits the subject.
Thanks very much, David. I confess the good doctor wil always hold a place in my heart and occassionally my meter. I believe Thidwick the Good hearted Moose may be stamped in my DNA. Grin.
Mr. Watt, who occasionally indulges in similar metrical forays, has accurately linked the clever, entertaining verse to Theodore Seuss Geisel. I would call the meter of Ms. Clickard’s “The Choice Is Yours” anapestic heptametre. It is reminiscent of that, say, of Victorian Lewis Carroll’s “You Are Old, Father William”.